Thursday
Dec162010
The 12 Wrecks Of Christmas
December 16, 2010 On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
A choking hazard in a treeeee.On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Two buttered bells,And a choking hazard in a tree.
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Three whipped ghosts,(And by "whipped," I mean they do what their wives tell them)
Two buttered bells,
And a study on the Heimlich for me.
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Four day-glo Santas,Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a bunch of crap in a gross tree.
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
♪ Fiiiiiiiive molded 'shrooms! ♪Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a lot of flotsam in a gross tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Six pounds of icing,♪ Fiiiiive fungusesssses! ♪
Four day-glo Santas,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And seriously, did you see all the stuff in that tree?
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Seven snowmen melting,Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♪ Fiiiiive Penicillin-bearing spores!! ♪ ♫
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a plastic coated nasty icing tree.
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Eight runny egg yolks,(WHY?!?)
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♪♫ Fiiiiive molded hallucinogenics!! ♪ ♫ ♫
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And is anyone even still reading this?
Nine kiwis riding... reindeer? Swans? Thestrals?Eight I-think-he-hates-me,
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♬ ♪♬ ♫ Fiiiiive really fun guys!!! ♪ ♫ ♫ ♬ ♬
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a beer.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♬ ♪♬ ♫ Fiiiiive really fun guys!!! ♪ ♫ ♫ ♬ ♬
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a beer.
Nine kiwis riding,
Eight runny egg yolks,
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♬ ♪♩♬ ♫ Fiiiiiive agaricus bisporus! ♪ ♫♩♩♫ ♬ ♬
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a reason to have the ER on speed dial.
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♬ ♪♩♬ ♫ Fiiiiiive agaricus bisporus! ♪ ♫♩♩♫ ♬ ♬
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a reason to have the ER on speed dial.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Nine kiwis riding,
Eight counts of salmonella,
Seven snowmen melting,
Eight counts of salmonella,
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫♭♫ ♬ ♪♫♭♫♩♬ ♫ Fiiiiiiive SUPER fun guys!!! ♪ ♫♭♩♫♩♫ ♬ ♬ ♭♫
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a Cake Wrecks Calendar
for me!
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a Cake Wrecks Calendar
for me!
Thanks to Michelle, Amanda C., Kyle C., Cheyanne, Joel S., Georgia T., Erin T., Monica K., NWM, Monica B., Jana S., & Jon D., who have been counting down the days 'til they could endorse a fine product like the 2011 Cake Wrecks Wall Calendar. [nodding earnestly] It's true. Take my word for it. No need to ask any of them. Or even check to see if they are, in fact, real people.
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CCC Day #4
Click here to donate your dollar!
Reader Comments (322)
I love this song again, THANKS!
Way too funny! I have to share this with lots of people now. The words had me laughing hard. :)
This is FANTASTIC!!!!
Side note: The Cake Wrecks Calendar is on mental_floss today!
http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/76999
I was still reading, and I think they are definitely thestrals. :) Thanks for hours of amusement while I'm snowed in!
Oh dear. 12?? 12!! 12...
1. wow - tree.
2. Buttered... ccc - p'tooey!
3. Heimlich... rofl - love the changes in the listing.
4. Didn't realize day-glo was supposed to be edible?
5. Oh... oh... oh... I WANT I WANT I WANT the shrooms!!
6. Seriously, head first? Sorry kids, Santa was drowned in the green icing blob.
7. Sadly, Frosty had to go away for another year.
8. I bet those egg yolks are a deliciously yummy lemon. And... Yes.
9. BWahahahahaaaaa! Thestrals! *snort* I thought they were Jack Skellington's dog... (beer, I'll go for, with my funguys)
10. Awww, I love Slimey the worm. He's my favorite.
11. Eh? Gift? huh.
12. Oh, baby, oh, baby --- you're sending me a CW calendar??!!! Wahoo!!
(ok, that last one -- did you photoshop it?)
This one is right up there with the Penguins and a loud squeek. Thumbs up!!
~~Di
haha! Love it. The kiwis riding Thestrals was the best. :-)
Nashvillesugapie
Brilliant. Just. Brilliant.
We are *so* singing this at my family's Christmas Eve program!
<3 <3 <3
I totally agree with the thestrals :)
Awesome!!!!!!
This post is packed with awesome. My hubby and I found ourselves singing along and laughing like loons the entire time. Go Bob and Doug "and a beer"!!!! LOL
Hell, I had to sing it out loud!
Especially love the five fun guys!
Brilliant.
Cheers from Calgary, Canada
Phil Seaker
(BTW - my sister lives in Orlando)
Hilarious!! I love the new (ever changing lyrics). Amazing you had cake samples to represent each number (except for 10) and the modified 12 (with the crossed out 13th flower--brilliant!)
never mind the plastic flotsam choking hazards on the tree--do I see glass ornaments and light bulbs??
this is definitely a favorite post. Slimey the worm! love the cake mockup. Slimey looks so happy in the icing.
YAY! A Harry Potter reference for me and a Sesame Street reference for my 2 year old! Who, by the way, shouts "CAKES!" every time I look at your blog with her... I'm truly concerned... Either she's a genius or I make really REALLY ugly cakes!
wv - quesse: A short test in a topic specific paragraph form (Quiz + Essay). "Today in school, I got an A+ on my quesse about the greatest Cake Wrecks ever discovered."
Hilarious!! I love the new (ever changing lyrics). Amazing you had cake samples to represent each number (except for 10) and the modified 12 (with the crossed out 13th flower--brilliant!)
never mind the plastic flotsam choking hazards on the tree--do I see glass ornaments and light bulbs??
this is definitely a favorite post. Slimey the worm! love the cake mockup. Slimey looks so happy in the icing.
AWESOME!!!!!! When do we get the recorded version?
My 12 year old son thinks #12 looks like it is wearing a sweater.
He thought this post was hysterical.
Jen's humor = 12yo boy humor
<3 you, Jen
ROFL! One of my favorite posts yet. I love the "beer" line and then the "piles of nothing". My favorite, though, is the reference to the "I'm a really fun guy" joke. LOL
The Santas look like they are sitting on sprinkle covered toilets...and the kiwi/reindeer thing.....still scratching my head.
You caught me on the 10. Brilliant!
I don't have time to see if others said this, but... DON'T THOSE LOOK LIKE CHICKEN NUGGETS ON THE REINDEER, um, THINGS?! What in the world is going on there?
saluer: "If someone looks sick, I might say 'salut'. If it's because of these cakes, I must say 'saluer!'"
Personally, I prefer the ten days of nothing! Those other days were sure to give nightmares and a trip to the er.
Hahahaha!
When my 2 year old daughter saw the first one, she said "That's a yucky cake?"
Yes my child.
Also, I did read the whole thing. Nicely done :)
Meringue mushrooms are a perfectly traditional way to decorate your buche de Noel (along with toasted coconut "dead leaves" and powdered sugar "snow"), and those are well made. The cake itself, on the other hand, is a disaster...
Yes yes I read it all too!!!
And now i have it going through my head, probably for the rest of the day, thanks bunches....
you guys are great!
This is one of my favorite sites every, you always bring a smile to my face even when I am having a tough day-- THANK YOU.
My guess for day 9 was "Battle Droids", but Thestrals work too!
WVW: redangli: a dangly bit that you thought you had pulled off your clothing or nose, but turns out to still be there.
You have truly outdone yourselves!!!!!!
This might be my new favorite Christmas song. Thank you :)
OMG, I think that was the funniest thing I've ever seen on this site, and that's saying a lot! Happy Festivus to all of you!
I just wanted to say that I truely do look forward to your posts daily! It's a laugh for sure at least once a day - Y'all crack me up!
*Mwa* Belissimo! And a beer. Love, love, LOVE it.
kiwis riding thestrals! love it. they could be friends with the baby carrot jockeys. :)
*Me standing, applauding furiously*
Awesome!
Bravo!
Well done!
Love how you worked Bob & Doug McKenzie's beer into that one! (ignore the cheesy pictures, but their full version is at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACApP94ei14)
And I had Jen #1's voice in my head as I read/sang it :)
I will never look at candy canes the same again. And you seemed to rather ignore the yule "log" but rather enjoy its decorations ;) I, too, liked how you kept changing the lines... VERY amusing.
PS What did that poinsetta do to you? And... are you sure it's fake. Given they're toxic, I sure hope so!!
Ten lots of nothing!
I can't wait to find someone recording this thing for real.
Love the thestral reference. Love the slimey reference.
The "thestrals" actually look like Zero from Nightmare Before Christmas... with what look to be chicken nuggets (as a previous commenter commented).
This post is why I read cakewrecks. You are hilarious.
This must be your best one yet, how fun, I love it! You have outdone yourself! Now off to donate to the charity....
That was the best Christmas song ever! I'm always amazed at the blog writer's sense of humor because they always make me laugh.
you seriously rock, thank you so much for the laffs!!!
I laughed so much all the way through that, thank you for the entertainment! I will be showing this to everyone lol
YES, I sang all the way through... and giggled madly.
I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. Helpless. On the floor.
You literally had me rolling with laughter (more than usual, when I read your blog). Thank you! I needed the laugh today.
Teri Bruce, Riverside, CA
I couldn't see #10. Was it taking a break at Epcot? Or was it the font?
Your mentioning of Thestrals and Slimey the worm prove, once again, that you guys are supermegafoxyawesomehot.
Oh, and the kiwis are obviously riding on Jack Skellington's dog, Zero.
Were there still skins on those kiwi slices?!
So freakin' funny!
"Fiiiiive molded hallucinogenics!!"
This made me giggle. A lot. Thanks so much!
Video! Video! Vi-de-o!