Thursday
Dec162010
The 12 Wrecks Of Christmas
December 16, 2010 On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
A choking hazard in a treeeee.On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Two buttered bells,And a choking hazard in a tree.
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Three whipped ghosts,(And by "whipped," I mean they do what their wives tell them)
Two buttered bells,
And a study on the Heimlich for me.
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Four day-glo Santas,Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a bunch of crap in a gross tree.
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
♪ Fiiiiiiiive molded 'shrooms! ♪Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a lot of flotsam in a gross tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Six pounds of icing,♪ Fiiiiive fungusesssses! ♪
Four day-glo Santas,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And seriously, did you see all the stuff in that tree?
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Seven snowmen melting,Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♪ Fiiiiive Penicillin-bearing spores!! ♪ ♫
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a plastic coated nasty icing tree.
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Eight runny egg yolks,(WHY?!?)
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♪♫ Fiiiiive molded hallucinogenics!! ♪ ♫ ♫
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And is anyone even still reading this?
Nine kiwis riding... reindeer? Swans? Thestrals?Eight I-think-he-hates-me,
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♬ ♪♬ ♫ Fiiiiive really fun guys!!! ♪ ♫ ♫ ♬ ♬
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a beer.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♬ ♪♬ ♫ Fiiiiive really fun guys!!! ♪ ♫ ♫ ♬ ♬
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a beer.
Nine kiwis riding,
Eight runny egg yolks,
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♬ ♪♩♬ ♫ Fiiiiiive agaricus bisporus! ♪ ♫♩♩♫ ♬ ♬
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a reason to have the ER on speed dial.
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♬ ♪♩♬ ♫ Fiiiiiive agaricus bisporus! ♪ ♫♩♩♫ ♬ ♬
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a reason to have the ER on speed dial.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Nine kiwis riding,
Eight counts of salmonella,
Seven snowmen melting,
Eight counts of salmonella,
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫♭♫ ♬ ♪♫♭♫♩♬ ♫ Fiiiiiiive SUPER fun guys!!! ♪ ♫♭♩♫♩♫ ♬ ♬ ♭♫
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a Cake Wrecks Calendar
for me!
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a Cake Wrecks Calendar
for me!
Thanks to Michelle, Amanda C., Kyle C., Cheyanne, Joel S., Georgia T., Erin T., Monica K., NWM, Monica B., Jana S., & Jon D., who have been counting down the days 'til they could endorse a fine product like the 2011 Cake Wrecks Wall Calendar. [nodding earnestly] It's true. Take my word for it. No need to ask any of them. Or even check to see if they are, in fact, real people.
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CCC Day #4
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Reader Comments (322)
Best blog post ever!! Hilarious!
~Ame
I was laughing so hard I choked on my own saliva...:D
Not sure if you know this but the 12 days of Christmas are the 12 days FOLLOWING Christmas, not before. Its that way because there are 12 days between Christmas and Epiphany in January.
You guys should totally sing this and make a video out of it.
That was awesome covered with awesome sauce! (Unlike those cakes.) Please make a video! Please please please PUHLEEZ!
This is pure genius! I sang, I laughed... I snorted. Keep 'em coming - I look forward to reading the blog every day after work!!!
that was AWESOME
Haha! I LOVE IT! I couldn't help but sing and laugh out loud at the whole song! It was awesome!
DK @ http://sweetsbyd.blogspot.com/
I just sang the whole thing... and have gotten it mixed up with 4 pounds of backbacon and 5 golden toques.
Well done!
Best post yet. I never comment, but I wanted to give you props for that carol. Wow.
"And seriously, did you see all the stuff in that tree?"
Heheheheheheheee
I had tears running down my face with this one and I nearly needed the Heimlich when I started choking over the runny yolks. Awesome job:)
did anyone else sing that whole post? I cried I laughed so hard, thank you!!!!!
Thank you for the Canadian mention.
Thank you Jen! You rock. Sooo many wonderful moments! Even a Bob and Doug McKenzie reference. *wiping eyes* Now I must go share this with every one else in my life so they too can laugh just as hard. :)
Fantastic! Loved the thestrals -- I thought the same thing when I first saw them!
You know, I had an awful day. I'm sick and miserable. But this post actually made me laugh out loud. First smile I had all day! Very clever! Thanks!
That has to be one of your most awesomest posts ever!! (Esp the part with "Five Fun Guys" - which happens to be my favorite joke ever!!!) I almost snorfed my dinner reading it tonight!!! Thanks for the smile!!
I loved this one!!! I so needed a laugh today - thanks!
That was awesome! You are so funny.
What an AWESOME rendition of this seasonal favourite. I laughed, I cried, I snorked. I may have hurt myself laughing so hard.
I'm not the only one who sang the whole song outloud, am I?
Totally awesome, best post ever!!! I love, love, love the CW take on the 12 Days of Christmas!
So clever! Loved it so much.
So clever, I loved it so much.
Ha! I just did a lesson with my seventh grade choir on The 12 Days of Christmas, and while they didn't have pictures to back them up, they came up with some pretty interesting lyrics!
BRAVO! I was singing along with you!
I think that after this I need a drink. a strong one!
PS
I also wanted to ask you if I can put your link on my blog roll in http://alessandrazecchini.blogspot.com/
I have been visiting you for well over two years now, you always make me smile :-)
You are brilliant!!
Love it!! Had to share it on my FB page. Too funny NOT to share!
I don't go a day without checking your blog, but this is my first time commenting. The narration always makes me laugh. I share others wishes to hear this actually sung. And I love the Christmas Charity Countdown. I will be donating to all 12.
230+ readers can't be wrong. I'd like to officially dub this 2010's "BEST. POST. EVAH."
How did you manage to get holiday themed wrecks with the RIGHT NUMBER of things in each photo?? Fess up --- how many photos did you crop?
Read the whole thing, and could not spot laughing at the Number 5 jokes
that.was.amazing!!
John & the other Jen: I command you to SING THIS NOW
(and a beer)
bwahahaha....
Best. Version. Ever.
On the ninth day, "And a beer."
If that's what I think it's a reference to, this blog is even more awesome than I originally thought. :)
Koorookookoo koorookookoo! Loved the reference to Doug & Bob McKenzie. Heh heh.
Bwwaaahh! Ha ha haha ha ha ha haha ha ah ah ha ah ah hah a hah ah ah ha haha ah ah!
I sang along for the whole thing, when I wasn't giggling!
This is my new favorite Christmas song. Maybe.
Darn, I wanted to say the kiwi were riding Zero the dog too. But that's what happens when you read late at night. Either way, nice post!
Best. Post. Ever. I sang along through the whole thing, even pausing with confusion on how I went from 9 to 11. :) VERY CLEVER! And I loved all the other pop culture refs you threw in there. :)
I laughed so much reading this blog. Thanks for the endless entertainment you guys bring to us readers!
This is awesome stuff, reminiscent of why I started reading Cake Wrecks in the first place. And yes, I was still reading the song!
I had to look up "thestrals". Nice.
Things I love about today's post 1) The Bob and Doug Mckenzie reference. Christmas is not complete in our house until we hear that song. 2) The ghosts really did look beaten down by their wives. 3) Really fun guys. Almost snorted soda through my nose. 4) Slimey the Worm. One of my favorite Sesame Street characters. I used to pray that I could have my own friend like that.
Also, thank you for the CCC. Today's cause is especially close to my heart. You guys do great work.
You. Are. Brilliant.
Thank you, thank you, CW team, for taking time to create that terrific song. I read every word! And it made me smile before I drift off to sleep tonight. (With visions of Sugar Plums, or creepy Xmas cake, dancing in my head!)
I laughed until I choked.
I must admit, I did not read it.
I had to SING it. :P
Best. Post. Ever.