Thursday
Dec162010
The 12 Wrecks Of Christmas
December 16, 2010 On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
A choking hazard in a treeeee.On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Two buttered bells,And a choking hazard in a tree.
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Three whipped ghosts,(And by "whipped," I mean they do what their wives tell them)
Two buttered bells,
And a study on the Heimlich for me.
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Four day-glo Santas,Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a bunch of crap in a gross tree.
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
♪ Fiiiiiiiive molded 'shrooms! ♪Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a lot of flotsam in a gross tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Six pounds of icing,♪ Fiiiiive fungusesssses! ♪
Four day-glo Santas,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And seriously, did you see all the stuff in that tree?
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Seven snowmen melting,Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♪ Fiiiiive Penicillin-bearing spores!! ♪ ♫
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a plastic coated nasty icing tree.
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Eight runny egg yolks,(WHY?!?)
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♪♫ Fiiiiive molded hallucinogenics!! ♪ ♫ ♫
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And is anyone even still reading this?
Nine kiwis riding... reindeer? Swans? Thestrals?Eight I-think-he-hates-me,
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♬ ♪♬ ♫ Fiiiiive really fun guys!!! ♪ ♫ ♫ ♬ ♬
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a beer.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♬ ♪♬ ♫ Fiiiiive really fun guys!!! ♪ ♫ ♫ ♬ ♬
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a beer.
Nine kiwis riding,
Eight runny egg yolks,
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♬ ♪♩♬ ♫ Fiiiiiive agaricus bisporus! ♪ ♫♩♩♫ ♬ ♬
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a reason to have the ER on speed dial.
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♬ ♪♩♬ ♫ Fiiiiiive agaricus bisporus! ♪ ♫♩♩♫ ♬ ♬
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a reason to have the ER on speed dial.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Nine kiwis riding,
Eight counts of salmonella,
Seven snowmen melting,
Eight counts of salmonella,
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫♭♫ ♬ ♪♫♭♫♩♬ ♫ Fiiiiiiive SUPER fun guys!!! ♪ ♫♭♩♫♩♫ ♬ ♬ ♭♫
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a Cake Wrecks Calendar
for me!
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a Cake Wrecks Calendar
for me!
Thanks to Michelle, Amanda C., Kyle C., Cheyanne, Joel S., Georgia T., Erin T., Monica K., NWM, Monica B., Jana S., & Jon D., who have been counting down the days 'til they could endorse a fine product like the 2011 Cake Wrecks Wall Calendar. [nodding earnestly] It's true. Take my word for it. No need to ask any of them. Or even check to see if they are, in fact, real people.
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CCC Day #4
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Reader Comments (322)
thank you so much for always giving me a big laugh!!!!
Can't help but hum along while reading.
The one where you ended "and a beer" - did you just make reference to Bob & Doug McKenzie's Christmas song? If you haven't heard the song, go online and find it. Eh.
Cathy
not only did i read the whole post, i sang along with it, LOL. you messed up my singing when you skipped ten
Brilliant! I was singing along with the words in my head... when I wasn't laughing too hard to think. :)
i think i just peed my pants....you are a genius! Teeeeheeeee!!!
I think I love the musical posts the best. +1 Thestrals ftw!
Oh, dear God this was hilarious. i lost it on the hallucinogenic line.
As for the 'nine kiwis'. It looks kinda like they're 'riding' Zero the ghost dog from 'The Nightmare Before Christmas.
new favourite song. love it!
Been out of town, so just catching up on CakeWrecks. This was the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Salsa up the nose, not so fun though.
My father passed away unexpectedly a week ago. Though usually a daily Cake Wrecks checker, this was my first time back since falling into this strange chasm of sadness. Just wanted you to know that the fungi . . . first time I've laughed in a week. And I laughed HARD. Thank you so much for that. ♥
oh stop it - my tummy hurts - and i dont have to EAT them !!!!
we love slimey!
Your best yet!
Do me a favor and publish this as a Christmas-themed coffee table book. I would buy it.
Wonderful! This was great - I sang the whole post to my brother. Thanks!
You guys absolutely make my week every week, but you've outdone yourself with this. My sides hurt, I laughed so hard!
I love you, I've commented occasionally, you often make me laugh.. You know, a little giggle... a smile that won't quit. Well.. I got to #9... and simultaneously choked on a cookie, went into a coughing fit (inhaled said cookie) laughed and coughed back and forth, and ultimately had to run from the room since I was in fact, peeing myself. I should tell you... I'm at work. Now I have to clean chewed cookie off my keyboard.
By the way, I saw it as green halo'd dog angels...
O.k. I know I'm late in reading this post, but I just laughed my butt right off!!!!!!!!!!
That was tempting me to actually put the ER on speed dial in honor of how hilarious that was.
This post just made my day. Hilarious!
This was hilarious! I LOVED it.
(Yeah, I'm way behind on blogs.)
OH! I saw your calendar at the store the first week of the year! :D
Late as usual, but I just have to say: CW team, you are the BEST. Funniest version of this song yet. :)
As others noted, #9 does look like Zero..but it made me think of http://www.justhungry.com/2005/03/inarizushi_sush.html" rel="nofollow">inarizushi (made with fried tofu skins) rather than chicken nuggets. Either way, not something I normally associate with kiwi fruit *or* cake. Or Christmas trees for that matter...