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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jul282014

The Bad, The Bad, and The Badder

The following cakes were made by professionals, and paid for with actual money.
Do not adjust your screen.

 

Vicky W. wanted this cake, only in pink and white.

Hm. I wonder how it turned out?

 

Oh, that's right! This is Cake Wrecks.

BAM!

 

This next cake is not the wreck.

It's actually what Mary J's half sister's other sister* wanted for her wedding.
(*cousin's nephew's roommate...)

Which Mary J's half sister's other sister apparently bought at a donut shop.

Okay, time for some hard truths here. Are you ready? Here goes:

If your baker makes most of her money selling donuts,
MAYBE DON'T GET YOUR WEDDING CAKE THERE.

(King cakes should be fine, though.)

(OH SNAP!!!)

 

And finally, Elydia B. writes:

"My wedding was like a fairy tale. The cake was supposed to be from a very prestigious bakery in Tuscany..."

Wait, Tuscany? Like in Italy? Well, since I'm an American and everything I know about Italy involves designer clothes, expensive shoes, and bright red sports cars, I have to assume that the cake would be amazin...

"...but it was like the wicked stepmother portion of the fairy tale!"

AH. Right, then. So here's what she wanted:

Nice! I like how they digitally added in Elydia's monogram for this mock-up; really speaks to a high talent and prof... wait, you added that, Elydia? Oh.

Oh my.

Since I'm speechless, I'll let Elydia finish:

"The cake that we got is about twice the size of me..."

(Hey, the more the merrier, right?)

"...but was a thin layer of cake with STYROFOAM below each layer of the Cool Whip-type frosting."

(Oh. Um. Crunchy?)

"They took one hydrangea and broke it up into four pieces."

(A hydrangea? Where?)

"Honestly, I thought it was a practical joke!"

(Did you check if those "hydrangeas" were actually parsley garnishes from the salad bar? Because if so, then you were TOTALLY punk'd.)

 

Well, let that be a lesson to you, brides: always sniff your hydrangeas, and never... uh... yeah I got nuthin'.

*****

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Sunday
Jul272014

Sunday Sweets: Grandma's Kitchen Counter

These may not be your grandmother's cakes... but I bet she'd love them.

(By Papillon Cakes, website currently disabled)

Rickrack and strawberries? Yes, please!

 

If we learned anything from Grandma's house, it's that you can never have too many floral patterns.

(By Amelie's House)

Especially when they're hand-painted.

 

No one does "dainty" like our grandmothers did. Mine recently gave me a bunch of her old jewelry, and there are necklace pendants in there smaller than my pinky nail. I'm talking TINY.

Kind of like the little accent flowers on this bottom tier:

(By Cakes by Suzanne)

Can't you just see this on a Formica countertop with little aqua star bursts on it?

 

 

And doesn't this look like one of those fancy candy dishes from Grandma's formal living room?

(By Sif Jensen)

The green even has a slightly translucent feel to it, like leafy green depression glass. SO PRETTY.

 

Did your grandparents go through a cherub phase? Mine had art, statues, some particularly memorable soap dishes... but sadly, no gorgeous cakes like this:

(By Svetlana Bayankina)

How appropriate the baker chose cherubs; that hand-piping is HEAVENLY.

 

Not all color schemes are timeless, of course - but I gotta say, I never thought a baker could make avocado green and peach look this sweet:

(By Two Cakes but I can't find a site for them)

And more awe-inspiring piping - it's just so delicate!

 

Now throw in a little lace and some more hand-painted roses...

(By Bubolinkata)

YES. Grandma, I take back everything I said about your avocado green fridge. (But I stand fast on my opinion of mustard yellow carpets.)

 

Did/does your grandmother wear pastel skirt suits? You know, those woven ones that were kind of scratchy? And that always had a giant matching brooch on the lapel?

BOOM:

(By Erica O'Brien Cake Design)

Admit it, this would make the most gorgeous skirt suit EVAH.

 

But at the end of the day, I think it's the combination of soft colors and delicate gilded designs that reminds me most of our grandmothers:

(By Sweet Art)

Something here just seems to capture that vintage sense of style and sweetness.

 

And of course it doesn't get more timeless than a couple of Grandma's favorites: creamy lace, ribbon, and roses:

(By Sweet & Simple Cakes)

Mmm. Perfection.

 

Happy Sunday, everyone!

Be sure to check out our Sunday Sweets Directory if you want to see which bakers in your area have been featured here on Sweets!

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.