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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jun232017

Merci!

Have you heard of the Croquembouche [CROCK-you-EAM-butchy]? It's a French thing.

Well, if not, here's what it's supposed to look like:

So kinda like old, cobweb-wrapped monkey bread. But in a yummy way.

 

Well, a certain anonymous person - who shall remain unnamed to protect her anonymity - found this gem at a wedding which she may or may not have anonymously attended:

I believe her exact words were, "it looks like some kind of primitive jungle cake being attacked by a swarm of lactating spider-wasps."

Mmmm, lactating spider-wasps...

Well, uh, Jane D. [wink wink], thanks for putting a new spin on these things.

 

Note: I think it's important to ask yourself a couple of questions before commenting here on Cake Wrecks:
Question: Did Jen and john really intend to give us the pronunciation of a word?
Answer: No.
Question: Are Jen and john complete and total idiots?
Answer: No.
Question: Do they...
Answer: No.
Question: Would they...
Answer: No.
Question: What about...
Answer: No.
That is all.

 

*****

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Thursday
Jun222017

New Discoveries in the Animal Kingdom

I believe that all new scientific discoveries should be announced via cake, don't you?

[pushing back glasses and consulting clipboard] Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to present...

The Majestic Bagel-Nosed Falcon of Uganda!

Or it might be a fish. Fish...falcon...you know. Whatevs.

 

[Shuffling papers] Next we have...

The Majestic Happy Chicken-Footed Spiny-Backed Slime Devil.
(Watch out; they spit.)

 

We're still working on the scientific name for this one:

So for now let's just call it the Majestic Coiled Crap Hound.
(I think that has a real ring to it, don't you?)

 

Here we have a particularly colorful specimen:

The Majestic Disco Newt! Let's pause a moment to admire his beautiful plumage.

Right. That's long enough.

 

And finally, we have...

The Majestic Three-Toed Four-Eyed Whiskered Zebra Toad.
(Yeah, you heard me. ZooBorns, eat your heart out.)

 

Thanks to Kelly D., Kit R., Caitlin B., Jordan J. and Donald L., who are all, er, majestic.

*****

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