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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Just Funny (492)

Monday
Jun202016

World's Greatest Cake Wreck Gets Drop-Kicked In Our Lap

You may have heard about the Michigan woman who allegedly "drop-kicked" a Kroger birthday cake last week. Apparently she "was not satisfied" (ya think?) with the Batman vs Superman cake she ordered, and tried to go behind the bakery counter to fix it herself.

Of course this is a big no-no, so when employees intervened the women decided the cake was better served as a football. The resulting kerfuffle “caused pieces of cake and frosting to be strewn about,” police said. A witness reported the woman “threw the cake to the ground, stepped on it several times, and yelled, ‘They (expletive) ruined my 7-year-old’s birthday cake!’”

On her way out, the unhappy patron also allegedly kicked over a “wet floor” sign.

Guess which of those lines was my favorite.

Now, I think we can all agree this kind of behavior is reprehensible, but let's be honest: the real crime here is NO ONE TOOK VIDEO.

But don't you worry, we are here to help.

So please enjoy this helpful recreation:

THIS IS EXACTLY HOW IT HAPPENED.

And lest you think we here at Cake Wrecks are condoning public cake destruction, minions, allow me to present:

5 Reasons NOT To Drop-Kick A Cake

#1 Jeremy has to clean it up

And Jeremy has finals this week, so give the guy a break, okay?

 

#2 You can still eat it

Does this cake look like disease?
Yes.

But just scrape off the most tumor-y lookin' stuff, and it's good to go!

 

#3: No One Likes A Cake-Kicker

Would you kick a puppy?
Of course not.
So why kick something that tastes so much better?

 

#4 You could hurt your foot

And if you think Mr. Hunky Fireman/EMT is going to sweep a cake-kicker off her feet, fuggetaboutit.

 

#5 The cake could always be worse

Please. Have you read this blog? It could ALWAYS be worse.

 

 

 

Always.

So remember, minions, the next time you want to kick a cake, take a picture and send it to us instead. It'll be cathartic. Promise.

 

Thanks to Andrea T., Jennifer A., Christina B., Brandy R., Atala, Brenda J., Kid F., Naomi J., & the hundreds of people who sent in the drop-kick story. It warms our cockles to know rampant cake destruction makes you guys think of us.

*****

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Friday
Jun172016

A Happy Dad's Dad

Right, bakers, this one's not too bad. All we need is "Happy Father's Day."

Aaaaand... GO.

No no, Happy FATHER'S day.

 

Close...

 

A little farther...

 

What is even happening right now.

 

Tell you what, just write, "#1 Dad."
Easy-peasy, pudding and...

...why?

 

::head in hands::

 

ARG, nooooo!
It's not "Day," it's "DAD!!"

 

I'm just not talking to you anymore.

 

That's right, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, bakers.

 

 

Well, I guess I did ask for it.

 

Thanks to Katie M., Melissa D., Chelsea B., Michelle G., Lauren P., Krista D., Jenny W., Tyler C., Pam M., & Isabel M. for taking Dad jokes even farther.

*****

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