John's Birthday Suit
November 2, 2010 It's my birthdy! And by "my" I mean it's john (the hubby of Jen)'s birthay. Granted, I don't usually speak of myself in the third person (unless I'm in the midst of seduction [which, admittedly, rarely works (but John never knows unless he tries!)])...but...um...where was I?
Oh, yeah: It's my birhday!
I originally wanted to write about those Canadian Nazi carrots you can buy at Epcot, but then I figured I'd just show you a bunch of misspelled cakes, so my own misspellings look international. Because I'm crazy like that. And giving. Yep, John's a giver.
[eyebrow waggle]
I believe it's spelled "Shirk." And since I did avoid seeing the last movie, this kind of works.Isn't this called an oxymaroon?
Although if you roll the "r" while reading it out loud, you'll sound just like Sherk! Go on. Try it.This one also seems a little contradictionary:
"Stop that right this second! Don't make me pull this event over!"And since you long-time Wreckies know how fond I am of Earth Day cakes...
Listen! Do you smell Epcot?And finally, this is not a cake, but I've gotta say...
...I pay way more for Jen's pasties.Hm? What's this? Jen's telling me "pasties" are also British meat pies.
John thinks she's trying to tell him something. [eyebrow waggle]
John also would like to know why Jen rolls her eyes so much.
[duckface]
[Barry White music]
Awwww yeahhh. Mmmmmmm, baaaby. John knows what you want:
In fact, because I'm such a giver, we're going to give stuff away every day this week, with even *more* give-aways on Facebook. Who loves me? Who is it? Oh yeah, it's you. Mmmhmmm. Happy briday to ME.
Check tomorrow's post for the winner's names, and also for your next chance to win stuff. Also watch the CW Facebook page this week for more chances to win exclusive CW pin packs and assorted goodies.
Reader Comments (768)
Bon Anniversaire!
Herzliche Gluckwunche zum Geburtstag!
Feliz cumpleanos!
Anything spoken in a foreign language is *always* sexy. Oh wait, I almost forgot Canadian.
Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday. Don't forget to cease the moment.
John, Hippy Burtday to you!
Hmm, a sexy message...
Imagine Jen coming down the hall, holding her pasties and waggling her eyebrows at you. You reach out to her and -
(record scratch) We - the Family-Friendly Web Posting Police - interrupt this program for the protection of our children (and truly creative sexy story writers everywhere).
Felix Cumpleanos!
WV - dimmor - Turn down the dimmor switch for atmosphere!
Happy Birthday John, may your day be filled with love, laughter, cake and pasties!
Happy birthday John! I'd love a book, but the only even remotely "sexy" thing that comes to mind is pasties. That word will echo through my brain for days now thankyouverymuch!
in all honesty, i love the blog, but i really want a prize!! oh yeah, and happy birthday ;)
Sexy Sexy Sexy Sexy Sexy Sexy Sexy Sexy Sexy Sexy Sexy. I didn't even cut and paste. Might my comment be the sexiest?? 8) Thanks for a chance!
We always called pasties the boob cups we had to wear under our leotards. :)~
Jessica Rabbit! What's sexier than Jessica?!?
Singing "Oh I don't know why, I don't know why, I can't get enough of your love Babe"! Can't get any sexier than Berry!!
Pasties are delicious... I mean... just sayin'...
<3<3
"John wants to give you something"
Yeah baby, give it to me good. Wait, what? :)
Happy Birthday!
(cue sexy background music a la 1970's adult film soundtrack)Bow chicka bow bow...."hey John" (much hip wiggling and twirling of pasties...er pastries....er....payshtees)"Heer's hopping you hav a wunderfol brithday and that all you're wishes come troo" (seductively peels off fishnet stocking and throws it at John...misses and stocking lands on cake where it promptly catches on fire). TA DA!!!
SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY HAPPY BIRDDAY!!SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY
Happy Happy birthday! :)
Aw Morgan! I just saw your post and you beat me to it with more sexys. :(
Pasties - if you 'google' an image of the word, you will see both kinds of pasties...in living color!
Greet job cake - Some stores have people employed as greeters; didn't know they get their own cake, though.
Ear day cake - you can get a choice of them in that bakery!
Class of 2010 cake - someone should have seized that cake before it was put out there. Why is the message written in a dotted-line style?
Sexy? Hmmm......
Okay John....
"Beer. Sleeping in on a workday. Back rubs. Not having to cut the grass. Perfume. Hot pizza. Whip cream."
How'd I do?
Happy Birthday John!
Now to make this post sexy enough to win a calendar...I'll don my new $1 pastie (hmmm cinnamon rolls on the ears make me look like Princess Leia) and do the infamous "Dance of the Wrecks" on this here CCC *ptooie* :D
For now I will not Sherk my duties as an avid Cake Wrecks follower and remind everybody to visit their ENT on Ear Day. If you see my good friend on the way, please feel free to Greet Job :)
Happy birthday! =D
I used to work in food service and one of the funniest moments was when I overheard two 60+ year old women discussing pasties and the different pronounciations and meanings (meat pies vs. things you put on your nipples.)
Happy Birthday John!
Well, helloooooo there, Big Boy.
Why yes, my wife IS letting me borrow her Princess Leia costume and wig in order to win this contest.
[bats eyes, bites lip]
Happy Birthday! Wonder what your birthday cake will be like? Do you wreck one on purpose for fun? Hope you post something on epbot too! Glucklich Geburtstag!
when you have those birthday pastors swinging in your face try not to make a creamy frosting mess.
Happy Birthday, John! I hope you got Jenn to sport some of those pricey pasties for you!
Happy Birthday, John!
Happy birthday John! You and Jen sound like that amazing couple who I would joke about living at your house with you, but I would secretly really mean it. I promise I'd chip in on the mortgage and bills! I'll even help out on projects, laugh at all your jokes, and keep the peace when you two can't agree on which movie to watch.
Hippy Briday, John! Below that write Greet Gob!
Bill F
Happy Birthday, John! Hope it's been greet!
Happy Birthday, John!
Love the post, as always. (I haven't seen Shrek Forever After either.)
THE SEXIEST!!!!!
Happy Birthday John!
I hope you have a great one, filled with spell-checked cakes!
Happy Birthday John!!!
I was really looking forward to seeing you in your birthday suit ;)
Oooh, John. Your third person-speak has me all in a tizzy. So sexy. If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
Seriously, though, you should speak in third person more often. It makes you sound like a house-elf. And that's just awesome, am I right?
Leighton thinks that John is hilarious. She also says that free Cake Wrecks stuff would be good, too.
Hay Birday Boy. Did yuo got a neice cake four you're specail day?
*sound of "Let's get it on" playing in the background as giant 10-layer devil's food and grand marnier cake, exquisitely iced and hand-decorated with buttercream is wheeled into the center of the room*
*suddenly, top of cake pops open and out jumps...[John to fill in this space with whatever turns John on, presumably Jen dressed in some sort of lingerie, or not, who am I to say? I just want a CW book, so indulge me here]!!!*
*after much cake munching, cake smearing on bodies, and general cake-iness that cannot be described in a family blog, the evening concludes with...*
W/V: foing - Hopefully this comment made John's mind go "foing" and he will send me that much-wanted CW prize!!
-Sue "pick me pick me"
Jeez...this is FUNNY stuff.
I have at least one "out-loud" laugh every visit to your site.
And I thank you for that.
Please keep the laughs coming.
Good post. Happy Birthday!
*le gasp* Hayyp Briday! May your day be filled with jelly donutes and pasties. :) And carrot jockeys, of course. ^^
Happy Birthday! Today was my 26th birthday (although my elementary school class guessed that I was either 19 or 30... I don't know if that's good or bad.)A signed copy of Cake Wrecks would put this birthday over the top!
Happy birthday from Scotland, John. I'd send you a Scottish pastie but don't think it would hold up well in the mail. So, please accept this transatlantic, correctly-spelled "Happy Birthday!" instead.
Yaay, it's my birthday too! Good thing I'm not getting a cake tonight. Happy birthday, John!
Happy Birthday John!
Good Luck tonight...Birthdays and Anniversaries are the two times a year IT (eyebrows wiggling) is guaranteed!!
No sexy comments, just wanted to say thanks, John! It is election day and I am depressed. But you and the site made me smile. So thank you for that.
annetteboardman
Hey, John, it's my birthday too. Why don't you come over, and we can "celebrate" together. Maybe have a little "cake" and check out the carrot jockeys.
*knocking*
Housewife- "Can I help you?"
Dude-"I'm here to deliver your cake."
Housewife-"I didn't order a cake."
Dude-"I knooooOOOooow"
*bowbow chicka wowow* <-- Barry white music
Housewife- "Wow you don't even need your hands to hold the cakebox!?"
Ummmm my apologies for this. Also, phonetically, my verification word says uteris. There goes dinner.
I speak for everyone when I say I'm glad you were born!
Hoppy Brithday, Jon!
Hap-py Birth---day....Mr. John-ny....
hehe. My feeble attempt to be sexy in my comment.
Anyway, my favorite part was the Ghostbusters reference. :) Lovin' the obscure references!!
What does an oriental man do for an erection? Why he votes of course. Why you no raughing?
Happy Birthday!