The Surprise Gender Bender

The Gender Reveal cake is such a simple concept: your baker uses either pink or blue icing inside, depending on if you're having a girl or a boy. Then you cut into the cake to learn the happy news.

But this is Cake Wrecks, minions. I HAVE NO HAPPY NEWS.

Only funny, funny failures.

SO...

Remember the gender reveal cake that had no icing inside at all, but lots of confusing garble written on top?

Or the baker who put all the colored icing on top in a blob?

Or how about the baker that flat got it wrong?

Well here's one more for your scrapbooks, kids:

Kristin A., writes:

"We went to **** Bakery, which has a gender reveal cake in their cake book. Took them a sealed envelope (containing the baby's sex) and in the filling section wrote 'Gender Reveal (pink/blue).'

"I didn’t realize I needed to be super specific and state if the envelope says 'girl' make it ALL PINK and if the envelope says 'boy' make it ALL BLUE!"

So when did Kristin realize she needed to be super specific?

Ohh, I'd say right around this moment here:

No, she's not having twins.

The worst part was they cut into the wrong color side first. That's right, fellow geeks: THE CAKE WAS A LIE.

But in case any of you are wondering:

They'll be celebrating with a barbecue next week.

Thanks to Lesley W., Kristin A., & Jess T. for reminding me of the original "It A Gril." If you remember that one, too, then award yourself 5 geek points. And, you know, maybe get out more. (It's too late for me; save yourselves.)

*****

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The Secret's Out

Sometimes when I tell people that John and I have been married for 17 years now, they exclaim in shock, "What, did you get married when you were twelve?!" And then we laugh and laugh until I wake up and cry a little.

The times I'm not dreaming, though, people sometimes ask what our "secret" is.  I assume they mean the secret to a happy marriage, and not that thing that happened at the fair, because how would they know about that?

So. The secret to a happy marriage?

ROMANTICAL TYPE WORDS AND STUFF.

Yep, nothing bolsters a relationship more than eloquently whispered...um...whispers of affection. 

And stuff.

 

What's more, this kind of mushiness isn't just for your weeding day!

 

Now, admittedly, John is a lot better at this than I am, but I've learned to follow his lead and try to say something romantical every single day.

 

I know it can be hard for you naturally romantic chatterboxes to understand us more silent and stoic types, but the truth is sometimes we just don't know how to express what we're feeling.

And other times you'll have to cut us a little slack because, hey, at least we're trying.

 

 [creepy grin] Aheheheheh. PREEETTY.

But really, I can't stress this one point enough:

 

ROMANTICAL.

And if you want to keep your spouse on his or her toes, try celebrating your next anniversary like this:

 Not that *I* would ever do such a thing, of course. No, I prefer to write John heartfelt missives of the feelings my heart feels. Kind of like this bakery's delivery box:

[turning on slow, sultry beat] 

[grabbing mic] 

[talking over doo-wop back-up singers]

 John, sweetie? There is no need reason. [draping self over piano] You fall - you FALL! - in love with my freedom. [raising roof]  HEE-HEE! So open that window, baby - yes, OPEN IT! So that the soul of my soul and your soul and our souls - oh yes - [sliding to front of stage on knees] embracing you. [biting lip] Unnng. Yeah, boy. UH.

Thanks to Judie V.,  Melanie S., Anony M., Whitney B., Heather R.,  Stephanie & Aaron, Anony M., & Melinda H., for helping me express myself. Like to enjoy the heart was affected, guys. LIKE TO ENJOY.

*****

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