TTFN

It turns out that last week was World Breastfeeding Week (motto: "There's a sucker born every minute.") In honor of the occasion, here's what was served at a hospital-sponsored picnic for moms and their babies:

If you're wondering what a life preserver has to do with breastfeeding, then rest assured that so are the rest of us. Personally I like to think that the Wreckerator was in the process of drawing one huge bazooga when s/he was stopped by some killjoy middle manager.

Also note that breastfed babies are "reading for anything." Naturally, I think you'll agree with me when I say this theory simply must be tested. So, the next time you see a mom breastfeeding, try to see if her kid is also reading. (You know, like this.) Then, once you've recovered from the police tasing and posted bail, be sure to report your findings back to us, k?

Anony M., I'll let you explain today's title. ;)

- Related Wreckage: Every Breath You Take

Two Words, Bakeries:

Drug screening.

Seriously. You guys might want to look into it.

You also want to make sure the DTs are over.

"Triangle Man, Triangle Man,
Doing the things a triangle can..."

And just FYI, managers: Drawing a tuxedo-clad "Triangle Man" with webbed feet is not compelling evidence of sobriety. So you probably shouldn't pick that guy to do the window display:

On the other hand, if you ever have an occasion that calls for a clown to run over another clown who's broken in half while stabbing at a third clown - who's drowning - and all three to be surrounded by bucks, bucking broncos, and mysterious brown swirls in the sky... well, then, you should probably seek professional help.

Courtney C., Jen C., Kirsten K., & Samantha R., I get by with a little help from my friends.

- Related Wreckage: Back to Basics