9 Out of 10 Child Psychologists Agree:

These cakes will keep them in business for a loooong time.

"Come closer, children. We only want to wish you a happy birthday. Hehehehe. Thaaat's right, just a littttle closer...."

[insane giggling]

"What? Haven't you ever seen a partially melted M&M before? I may only have a hand stump, but I can still clean your clock, buster. Just ask the last guy."

"Mmmphm eeeph mmife!"

Lisa F., Teresa F., Michelle T., & Nana T., these cakes could be a powerful parenting tool. "Behave, kids, or I'll take you to the bakery again!"

- Related Wreckage: Nah, These Won't Traumatize the Kids at ALL

Truth in Advertising

Bakers, in today's lagging economy the race to earn customers' hard-earned dollars is on. So how can you stay ahead of your competition? With tasteful, quality display-cakes, that's how.

Yep, you want displays that draw people in. Displays that show off your skills. Displays that say, "Hey, we're a modern, 'with-it' bakery that knows just how to relate to today's generation."

"You see, kids, there once was a time when phones had cords on them."

You also want cakes that show you take your job seriously:

And that your figure modeling is second-to-none:

"GREETINGS, HUMANS. WE ARE TWO UNIQUE FEMALES WHO ENJOY SITTING IN CASUAL MANNERS. TAKE US HOME OR WE WILL STUN YOU WITH OUR LASER EYES. JUST KIDDING. HA. HA. HA."

But also some that show you aren't lacking in the crazy department:

"Proud to be the only bakery that offers large chocolate grenades in our 'Peeps VS Bobble-Heads Soccer Match in the Desert of Doom' design - now with random Rugrats!"

Jasmine D., Erin F., Lisa M., Sarah N., & Maren J., can you spot the grenade?

- Related Wreckage: Wrecks on Display