Making New Friends
June 20, 2011 So, take it away, Debbie!
Hello! My name is Debbie, and this is my first attempt at a Cake Wrecks bio. So I'm nervous, but excited at the same time! Wheee!
So, I'm just going to start talking about what I like, and hope you like it!
Um. Let's see. I am... a relatively new Cake Wrecks reader. Um. I love...
...cats.
I love cats with fur, and cats without fur, and cats in hats, and cats that don't even look like cats...
[sniffle]
I'm sorry. I just...I just really love cats.
[wiping eyes]
And...and I just want to hug all of them because I love them but I can't 'cuz that's crazy I can't hug every cat. BUT I WANT TO. You know? I WANT TO HUG EVERY CAT.
Um. Wow. Sorry - I got a little emotional there. Heh.
I also like to...to...
[sob]
I'm sorry; I'm thinking about cats again.
I just...I just LOVE them, and I WANT them. I want them in a basket, and I want them in little bow ties, and I want them to be on a rainbow, and I want a house FULL OF CATS and we would all ROLL AROUND...
[more sobbing]
'Cuz they're all just so CUTE with their little whiskers...
...and their little ears...
...and their little delicious vital organs...
Um.
And I like to run.
And if you haven't seen the live action version of today's post yet, here 'tis:
Reader Comments (166)
This post is so epic!:o)
Please tell that video is not for real?! Surely she's joking. If not, have her contact me for the name of a good psychiatrist in her area. She definitely has a problem!!
As for the cakes, I'm with Muria, I've forgotten what a good one looks like!!!
The A&P cat is amazingly well done. Gross, but well done. But could you really eat it?!?!?!
But um, well, um, can Debbie, um, be for real. Um, it has to be, um, a joke.
--KATP
#1 At first, I thought this was one of those cutesy, crafty things that people hang in their closets that serve absolutely no useful purpose. On realizing it's a CCC, I continued to think it should be hung in a closet.
#2 I'm sensing a violation of child labor laws here.
#3 I'm sensing a violation of the laws of nature here.
#4 I'd have to give this one a pass. Much as I would do if I were at that bakery.
#5 Rather than a contender for the new Tony the Tiger, this is more likely why a new Tony would be needed.
#6 Yikes!!! Those eyes look like they glow in the dark! Note to self: Never shop at the Louis Wain Bakery.
#7 Rumors of cat-dog hybrids are an Internet staple, but here is photographic proof.
#8 Meals don't taste nearly as good when they are re-swallowed, for some odd reason.
That video is a parody, but it isn't hard to imagine that it wouldn't be out of place on many dating sites. As for skepticism that 'Debbie' could make it in Hollyweird; really? The only risk 'Debbie' faces is being taken too seriously.
Stop, stop, stop! I'm laughing so hard I'm crying and now I can't see any of the pics. Obviously I saw the video long before this. I'm weak!!!
wv: shizarv: In an attempt to impress the sommelier my husband said "Yeah, bring me some of that there shizarv."
That last cake is a pretty accurate (if horrifying) rendition of the cats used in A&P. And to whoever said that A&P vivisection is on her sh!t list, they actually arrive dead. They also arrive shaved, but for the tails, head and paws, in a little bag waiting to reveal their secrets to the eager minds of future health care professionals everywhere!
Oh, hey, since we're posting links to cats and nutty cat owners ... Here's one of a bilingual cat cussing at dogs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAox2OrJ_3I
Now I think I'll head back to Youtube and watch an engineer's guide to cat yodeling.
In sendintheclowns' defense, I, too, thought the tiger cake, (which I'm guessing is supposed to be Hobbes), looked like a tiger-striped phallus with eyes. Maybe it's Charlie Sheen's... O_o
How has Debbie not been snatched up by some lucky lucky guy already?
So glad at least a couple of other people saw SNARF immediately!
>Cheetara at heart
WV: Reeps
Snaaaarrf reeps what he sows, cake.
Holy. Cow.
I think my son would gag over the cat autopsy one. One entire wing of his high school smelled like formaldehyde for the week that the biology students dissected cats...
And Debbie, don't hug these cats. You'll ruin your top with sugar and butter.
And people wonder why I don't date online. Thanks for the laugh, though!! I'm always surprised at the sheer... wreckieness.
Aron said...
"... to whoever said that A&P vivisection is on her sh!t list, they actually arrive dead."
~~~
Well, that's a cute trick, considering that the practice is, by definition, refering to the use of LIVE specimens:
" Vivisection (from Latin vivus "alive" + sectio "cutting") is defined as surgery conducted for experimental purposes on a living organism, typically animals with a central nervous system, to view living internal structure."
(Maybe your specimen-delivery person got lost.)
not dead = not vivisection.
I'm just going to file it under "Well-made cakes modeled after touchy subjects."
Peace!
=^-.-^=
So, how many responses do you think this E-Harmony video received? I might have bad luck when it comes to romance, but there is no way that I would be that desparate.
Oh my goodness, is that video for real??? I LOVE CATS>>>with little bows and want to roll around with them...i totally get that....aaand, i also love to run....I have never heard of such a breakdown...i sat w/ my mouth agape watching that horrific-run-me-over-trainwreck-kinda-make-me-gagalittle-video. Haaahaaahaaa. Oh and the cake choices were great too. :)
The first twenty seconds of the video reminded me of my cousin. Dumb blonde (which my cousin really isn't, she just chanels it). And then .....cats. I hope this girl is never allowed to own a cat. She might drown it.
I read each and every comment before mine because I HAD to know if that video was real. My mom has a cat. I needed to know it was safe from Debbie who wants to roll on it and hug its ears. . . So glad it's just acting, but it does sound a lot like some of the crazies you see on Animal planet with 67 cats in a single-wide trailer.
WV: Matalit. I got nothin', somebody help me out
I too saw #5 upside down as a pervert cat with a strange face. Glad I'm not alone.
And A&P cat is awesome!
Surely she's not for real! Can't see many people contacting her for a date after that. Never know though, could be the perfect at loving man who wants to roll round with her in her house of cats.
We just ordered pizza and I had no idea what I was going to chat about over dinner, but now I know! Cats! Wait, it's been done before. I know, I'll talk about pizza toppings! Because I love pizza toppings, all kinds of pizza toppings, and I just want to have all the anchovies in the world and roll around with them and have the baskets and... I have to stop writing because it's hard to type through the tears, ok, I'm done!
wv: screci
Those cakes make me all itchy and screchi....
OMG. That video was hilarious. Thanks for linking to it and spoofing it. :) -- A SANE cat lover
video.yikes.speechless.
Oh, wow! Just wow! Please tell me that wasn't a real eharmony video. I haven't laughed so hard in quite a while. Next time some well-meaning person suggests I try e-harmony I will direct them to this video to explain why I am not using their site to find my soul mate. Instead I will go to the animal shelter because I just love cats and their little whiskers and noses and...
@sendintheclowns, you're right, of course. I should have worded that better. Allow me to try again: I have never heard of an A&P course that began with live cats. Ever. (Who knows? Perhaps such places exist, but I've never heard of it.) The cats usually are sent from the pound after having been put to sleep, as the charming euphamism goes. I'm not saying that practice makes me giggle with joy, just that it is what happens. The pound generates an income boost by selling their specimens to the local biology labs. Sorry, not trying to start something. It's just that the idea of vivisection in A&P labs would not only dramatically increase the general horror of that whole process, but would also be a bit beyond the actual point of those lab experiences. YMMV.
Sorry for the total derailment of hilarity. By the way, that cat (?) with the wandering whiskers is kind of freaking me out...
holy crap! Hilarious! Do you think if Debbie saw all the cat cakes she'd want to eat them all? Or just take them home?
Passing on to all my cat loving friends now! :)
OMG! I can't believe that chick hasn't found a husband yet.
wow
The vital organs comment had me hooting with laughter!!
In the '80s, my brother had a "Earl, the Dead Gray Cat" which was a flattened stuffed cat. It was always a hit at his parties. If you timed it right you could toss it up to the ceiling fan and it would fly off to land in the moose antlers (it was a real stuffed moose head his roommate's parents gave them o.O). Ahhh, good times.
-Barbara Anne
I cannot stop laughing at that video.. plus it followed the cat autopsy cake. Eeeeeeeeeeee. I love cats too but I prefer not to have cat autopsy cake lol.
@Aron:
I used to work at soul-sucking animal shelter; we didn't call it "putting to sleep." It was "euthanasia"(Greek for "good death"). Ours went to a crematorium and generated no income that I'm aware of. It certainly makes sense for COLLEGE biology labs to make some worthwhile use of the sad losses. I'd totally blocked out the memory of my high school biology course in which we had baby pigs to disect and draw diagrams from. Looking back, it seems so pointless. One punk tossed a baby-pig nose around in the cafeteria and it was a big joke. (How many went on to be doctors of some kind?)
ANYway, yeah--pretty off-topic, hardly fun, and not cakey!
I'll shut up now...but WHAT "cat (?) with the wandering whiskers" are you talking about?
=^??^=
The dissected cat cake was gross but it did remind me of Nursing School A & P. Oh the smell of formaldehyde in the morning. Yummm. Nothing makes me think of sugar coma inducing cake more.
As for the "eharmony" video. Please tell me for the love of Jebus that it was a joke?!?!? If not, she should ask for her money back NOW. It will help with the future expenses she will have buying cat food, litter, and carpet freshener. Because she obviously is going to die alone somewhere and no one will find her corpse until the 1000's of cats she acquires start to starve to death (and smell)after stripping her body to the bone.
@sendintheclowns
Let me add my voice in support of Aron's. The "CVT" in my name refers to Certified Veterinary Technician, so I know whereof I speak. CVTs assist in surgery, even closing for the vet, act as anesthetists--we do everything short of actual cutting in surgery. So I've taken my share of A&P classes. They NEVER included vivisection. EVER. The very idea was--and is--obscene. We take oaths, just like human doctors, and we take them just as seriously. That would seriously violate our oaths. Vivisection is on MY sh!t list, too. Know anybody who does it?
BADKarma! said...
"In sendintheclowns' defense, I, too, thought the tiger cake... looked like a tiger-striped phallus with eyes."
~~~
Whoa, now--I didn't start that one! Look back and you'll see that I merely RESPONDED to an "Anonymous" so & so who BROUGHT UP the whole *phallus* thing (only he/she used the actual OTHER "p" word) at 11:21! I just forgot to put the quoted part in "quotes".
All *I* said was that he/she WAS the only one with a dirty mind...
(I can't help it if that sounded a tad facetious.)
=^~.-^=
@SaraCVT
Re: "Know anybody who does it?"
No, I don't. But I know about something even (and unspeakably)worse that I am in the process of doing something about right now. Seeing as this isn't the place, feel free to email (address on my profile)me if you care to know. I need all the help I can get.
Sendingtheclowns,
This whole topic is a bit of a downer but as the biggest cat lover on this board, I need to hear about whatever it is you're fighting for. Send me an email at john(at)cakewrecks.com when you get a chance.
john
Wth is that big orange thing?? Is that a Chernobyl kitty?
I was so relieved to find out the video is fake, because now I don't have to feel so bad about laughing at that poor girl. She's good.
And the post is great, too, as always!
LOL LOL LOL!!! I LOVE that you referenced that lame video! My grandkids come to my house and ask "Can I go on CakeWrecks?" Wait till they see the cat posts!
Thanks for your site!
Craig sez:
"#6 Yikes!!! Those eyes look like they glow in the dark! Note to self: Never shop at the Louis Wain Bakery."
Ha!
I'm delighted to meet another Louis Wain fan!
P.S. As I'm sure you know, Louis Wain died in an insane asylum.
The video...WOW. Now I must geek...Toxoplasma gondii is a parasite that can only reproduce in the digestive tracts of cats. If it infects a rat, it slowly alters the rat's brain, making the rat attracted to cats. So the rat gets eaten, and the parasite gets to reproduce.
I think it may also infect people named Debbie. Just sayin'
OMG the cat with the insides displayed made me jump !!!!!
OMG, that is like, so sweet, you know!!! I just totally understand where she is coming from!!!!
I guess Debbie doesn't know how to use the "erase" button on her camcorder. I'm sure there are guys just lined up to meet her after that.
Wow...that was a whole lot of crazy cat mess.
No wonder the girl can't find a date...
I hope, for her sake, that the video is just a joke!
I saw that video as it made the rounds on Facebook, so as soon as you started your captions, I started giggling. I'm so glad you took full advantage of it!
As for the video (and all these cat cakes*)... show of hands: how many dog-lovers here had a secret suspicion that cat people are certifiable?
* yes, I know there's horrendous dog cakes. But those are for small yappy things (ie pseudo-cats). Lovers of big dogs obviously have taste ;)
PS Love the vivisection cat! It's actually well done, so really not a wreck! And the cartoon one is almost good but seems to be overly endowed down low, and with pupils!
Holy crap, what is she on?!
Wait...I'm still not certain...does she like cats? lol
For the record, my 9yr old made me watch that video several times because he couldn't stop laughing. Even he said "Why on earth would she post that?!"
Aliza:
*Waving hand up.* (I don't include all the people who like cats, but this particular Debbie certainly qualifies.)
(My take on it is, why do so many people go as crazy as they do with cats? It's just another animal... )
Wow...memories of the one thing I hated about A & P (which was otherwise awesome). Not cool to be presented with a cat like that when you have three live ones you love at home! The video was just over the top weird. I love my kitties, but wow! I hope I could do my furry friends better justice than any of the wrecks in this post.
I don't care if the video is fake. I like pretending it's not. Because I believe that there are cat people out there-- okay, people in general, who are just that crazy. It makes me smile. And lock my doors at the same time.
I was seriously scarred by high school English. I was expecting after the rainbow comment that she was going to declare that she wanted to take the kitties and wrap them in a pink fluffy cloud and push them around.