My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Missed Marks (291)


The Bakery Order Book IS A LIE

We all know asking a bakery to match a cake photo you brought in is inviting disaster, but what about the photos in their own order book? SURELY they can match those, right?

[poker face]
[lip quiver]


[wiping eyes]

Sorry. I held it together as long as I could, honest.

I want you to pay close attention to that faux wood grain and the rock pattern on this one.


Now, notice how they...

...didn't include any of that.


Aren't the silver screw heads edging this motorcycle design super cool?

Yeah, you will never ever ever ever ever ever get those on your cake.


Also, your flames will look like melty tentacles.


Now here's a SUPER easy one:

Practically everything you see is plastic, so all the baker has to do is add a star and some squiggly lines. THAT'S IT.


Drum roll, please:



Maybe you think ordering an intentionally "messy" design is the answer:

Good plan! And yet...



I do have some good news, though. With another year of Frozen cakes under their belts, bakers are finally starting to improve on that always-disastrous kit design!

Ok, so I lied.

But c'mon, those "mountains" had to be shared with the world.


Thanks to Christian P., Tanis C., Lisa C., Dawn H., & Lavon C., for discovering Olaf also likes warm spuds.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.


Wrecks of Plenty

According to Wikipedia, the cornucopia - or "horn of plenty" - is typically a hollow, horn-shaped wicker basket filled with various kinds of festive fruit and vegetables.

According to Wreckerators, this is a cornucopia:

Where "festive fruit and vegetables" = "neon holographic plastic flotsam bits."


And this:

"Is that a vomiting tornado in your cart, or are you just sorry to see me?"


I refuse to believe this next one is anything other than a pile of tiny Wizard hats:

How many tiny Gandalfs had to die for this cookie cornucopia cake, huh? HOW MANY??


Fortunately, some of you knew better than to order a cornucopia cake. You ordered one of these lovely turkey ice cream cakes, instead:

So at least you have that to look forward to.

Heh. Aheh.

[keep scrolling]



Oh, I'm sorry, do you still have an appetite? Here, let me help you with that:

Just think, "Charred and slimey." Thaaat oughta do it.


So in conclusion, tomorrow, remember to:

"Goble Goble,"



But only one. Times are tough these days.


A very special "thank" to Diana T., Pam M., Sarah H., Tracy B., Sarah B., Linda S., & Emily G. (You guys will have to share.)


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.