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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Ewww (167)

Thursday
Feb082018

Valentines Strategery

Valentines Day is next week, so it's a good idea to start strategizing now. I mean strategerizing. I mean stratavarigizing. I mean WHATEVER SPELLCHECK YOUR NOT THE BOSS OF ME.

[What you're not seeing - other than me yelling at my screen like a madwoman - is that spellcheck is telling me "strategizing" is spelled wrong but "your" is right. IRONIC, idn't it?)

Ahem.

I'm going to assume you haven't already proceeded with Operation Dump Week, so let's move on to plan C:  Choosing the right gift.

First of all, remember that you can never go wrong with roses.

 

  Unless they're these roses.

 

 Or these ones.

 

 Or...SWEET MERCY, has Sleeping Beauty been on another rampage?!

 

Ok, maybe instead you should go with a single, long-stemmed...

....tape worm.

 

 You know what, forget the roses. Teddy bears are where it's at:

Or, sure, decaying gophers could work too, I guess. 

 

Here's a good option if your guy/gal is nicknamed "Poo Bear:"

A yellow-bellied Poo Bear? Nice one, bakers.

 

You could also just stick to the Valentine basics: you know, hearts, cupid arrows, that sort of thing.

That's it.

YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

 

 

 Sing it with me, Kathleen S., Lindsay R., Maria V., Suzanne, David G., Amanda S., & Caroline M.: 

Shot through the heart!

And you're to blame! 

You give loooove

A BAD NAME.

 *************

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Friday
Jan192018

Freaky Friday

Today we've got TWO unusual holidays to celebrate - so that means twice the cakey goodness, haha! John even did the research and put together a little slideshow for us, so let's get right to it. What've we got first, John?

Oh.

Um... well... ohhh kaaaay.

[deep breath]

Happy International Fetish Day, everyone!

[pause]

 

John, why did you put a... is that a banana? Ok, a banana. Why did you ... I mean, what kind of fetish...

You know what, let's just move on.

Wow, looks like George really IS curious.
(You cheeky lil' monkey, you!)

 

I have to say, John, you've really managed to find some fun cakes for International Fetish Day.
Nothing scary here at all!

AAAUUUGGHH!!

***

[climbing back into chair]

Not that... Not that there's anything WRONG with a... clown... fetish. Clowns are wonderful characters. Very colorful. Very, er... squeaky.

NEXT!

Thank you, John, but I'm not sure everyone really needs to know the plastic dinosaur is spring action.

 

Huh. Yeah, I guess I could see this one.

 

NO.
Just... NO.

(I don't care how much research you did, John, this is not cool.)

 

Listen, John, wasn't there another holiday today, too? Can't we just skip ahead to that one?

Ah.

Well, I guess we should have seen that coming.

Happy Judgement Day, everyone!

 

Thanks to Alexandra S., Julia W., Heather A., Jed C., Farhee, Theresa S., & Nathan M. And yes, it really is both International Fetish Day and Judgement Day - just not THE Judgement Day. I hope.

So... cake?

*****

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