Why On Earth Did You Buy THAT?
July 30, 2010 
Well, ok, then.
"It beats jello"
"95% of diets fail anyway"
"Cheaper than therapy"
"It was this or rhubarb pie."
"The end MIGHT be nigh"
.
Only $5.20 on Amazon! Woot! Stock up!Now, quick, go BE FUNNY. Chop chop!
UPDATE: Here are some of my favorite entries so far, in case you don't feel like scrolling through the 1000+ comments:
"Think of the laughs you'll get" - Anony 10:09
"You could always send this to Cake Wrecks" - TechyDad
"Eatable" - Kathyrn R.
"Mostly Harmless" - Cat Beiber
"Get Used To Disappointment" - Lynn
"My Other Cake Has A Witty Saying On It" - Tessa Beers
"D***n it, Jim, I'm a Doctor, not a cake decorator!" - Becky@whatslifewithoutwhimsy
"It's not as old as it looks" - Jen (3:44pm)
"I quit" - Donna
"It was this or death" - M.A.
"Think of the children" - Tracy
"Like you could do any better." - Tami
"The bananas in your cart look lonely." - Charlie's Mom
"As seen on Cake Wrecks!" - Ashley
"We only would have screwed up your custom cake order, anyway." - Julie
"Don't act like you've never settled before." - Bryan & Jessica
"In some foreign countries this is actually a compliment." - Dolores
"Suck it, Trebek." - Janebabes
Reader Comments (1396)
I didn't want to make one.
What happened to the "1000 Awesome Things contest" Is it still going on?
"Nothin says Lovin' like a fresh 5 day old cracked cake out of the oven!"
Really bad cake choice for Mrs. Price's baby shower.
Mr. Price was not amused.
Eat Me !
"Here is your f-ing cake"
I know a guy that actually had that written on a bakery cake - for his pregnant, begging-for-cake wife. Except it was the non-abbreviated version.
Because he didn't love you.
^You know thats always a good reason to eat cake! HA!
I make minimum wage and show a creativity level to match!
Suddenly, I'm not half the cake I used to be...
I can see your crack, too.
Especially made in appreciation of Plumbers everywhere.
We thought we could hide it with icing.
"Please help tomorow they throw me away"
(tomorrow spelled incorrectly of course for added wreckiness)
Your husband won't notice another inch on those thighs anyway.
"You did spend those extra five minutes at the gym"
"Just put me in your cart, dang it"
"Eat this not that ->"
"Here's a little crack for your Birthday"
"This was all they had"
"There were no lights..."
"Couldn't afford the nice one"
"Free Crack!"
"YOU try to fix it"
Okay it's kind of wordy but I'm sure a wreckerator could do it...
I need some "ME" time and the only way that will happen is if I sit on the toilet all night.
This would really only apply to me, because I have a 14 month old son and lactose intolerance, and I was imagining a cake with the whipped cream icing. That's all I wanted for my birthday, but noooo, hubby forgot, so I bought a cricut instead. Happy freakin' bday (ha ha) to me.
"Last minute anniversary gift"
or perhaps
Goes straight to your thighs"
....aaaaaand that's all I've got.
Cause your anorexic ass wouldn't eat it anyways.
"One excuse is just as good as another"
At least it's not a CCC (patooie)!
crack, shmack - that's what I always say...
or
in the end it all looks like crap anyway.
and I love rhubarb pie
More bang for your buck!
Love the idea, and I'm really LOL on the 'dumb pregnancy craving' !!!
'pre-cut'
'Blessed are the cracked; they let in the light'
~~Di
Just because I was baked at some massive facilty with no love, iced by some underpaid & uncaring employee, sent through a sub zero freezer to become a cake brick, packaged, palletized, shipped out to your local grocery store (with a couple of stints on loading docks - no, I didn't thaw that much), put back in the bakery freezer only to be pulled out by another underpaid, uncaring and certainly untrained decorator who slapped on a border with the largest star tip they could find, dropped a rose and a few rosebuds on top (don't worry about the pinks not matching - no one will notice), packaged in consumer packaging - REALLY, I didn't thaw that much during this process either, shoved in a freezer with a 30-day shelf life so customers could walk by, look at me and keep walking. No worries, I don't take offense to being left behind - seriously, doesn't bother me at all - &%$#@&^ customers - like they're better than me. So 30 days is up and now you are really wondering why I'm 50% off & where that crack could have possibly come from in this entire process?
Whatever! I still taste good, if you like this crap that is.
Earthquake cake
Who can say no to cake?
OR
Who can argue with cake?
"I like pie"
Alexis O: free frosting!
Alexis: FREE FROSTING!
Cash prize on bottom
=D
OK, I can't help it. Thought of a couple more:
"Decorate it yourself if you're so great!"
And the standard retort:
"Your mom's a wreckorator."
Alexis O" FREE FROSTING!
"Please Buy Me..the baker in on the verge of getting fired"
My dad's favourite saying... "It's better than a kick in the pants."
"Let them eat me"
"What else were you gonna buy, underpants?"
"The bananas in your cart look lonely"
It's freaking cake people!
Just eat it.
"It's getting colder outside, and you need to fatten up."
*insert quote here*
Somthing wity so they don't notice the cracke
"and I can't make roses either."
WV ickmanth- as state of ickiness: ick to the manth degree
you can haz cake.
"Once you eat it, it won't look like this anymore."
:)
I enjoy the site, Jen...thank you! :)
Tastes like chicken!
Life sucks, why bother.
I had a coupon.
Because health food is for squares.
**Warning...potty humor ahead!**
Way better looking than plumber's crack!
The Better Half
Hey I don't ask what's inside your crack!
You might as well - you're staying home alone Friday night anyway.
"fork me"
"no one's watching, just take me"
"It's a lot better then my first try."