Star Wars: The Next Generation
December 9, 2010 Remember Katie, the little girl with the Star Wars water bottle who's been unofficially adopted by every geek on the Internet? Well, in Katie's honor, tomorrow is Wear and Share Star Wars Day!
This is a day to rock your Star Wars clothing or accessories, and also to donate a Star Wars or other geeky toy to your local shelter or hospital. Cool, right?
Now, for this special occasion Jen has asked me, Number 1, to write a Star Wars themed post. What Jen doesn't realize (and what I'm not going to tell her), is that I've never seen Star Wars. Ever. But I've seen Spaceballs a whole bunch of times, so I figure this'll be no biggie.
Ok, so, the movie is set in space, "the final frontier", sometime in the future. Luke Skywalter is the pilot for the Star Ship Firefly.
("Oh I'm sorry, we don't make Star Wars cakes at this bakery, but we'll happily make you one with plenty of 'space'." [Yeah. Seriously.])
"We will destroy Hans Solo by playing checkers."
RD2D, CP3O, and Spider-Man.
Slimer.
Slimer tells Luke to "use the force," but Luke doesn't know what that means so he shoots him. (First.) Luke and his gang then go back to the Enterprise to fight Dark Vader and rescue Princess Leia. Again.
But the ship is now underwater, which makes it impossible to turn on their Life Savers.
Dark Vader thinks it's unfair that Luke brought friends to help him fight, so Vader calls a friend of his own:
Accio pixie power!!
But wait! Slimer pops up from the dead and casts lightning into Vader's helmet. Pew! Pew!
Vader falls to the ocean floor, and Slimer says, "You killed my father; prepare to die!" Then he crosses the tachyon streams to open a wormhole which sends Vader back to Gozer.
And they all live together on the island until John Locke finds himself dead in the coffin.
THE END
Thanks, Amanda K., Anony M., Autumn P., Amanda N., Sarah, Jessica H., Ruth K., and Mattie T. And as the brown coats say, "Live long, and may the force be with you." So say we all.
UPDATE from Jen: Don't miss today's CNN article on Katie, with quotes from yours truly!
Reader Comments (232)
BWAHAHAHA! Tink and Dark Vader as allies... I KNEW it!
wv: alorm- slimer's cupcake like warts growth is ever so slightly alorming
I've been following the blog for at least 6 months now, and I think this may be the funniest posting yet!!
WOW! So awesome! I love how you managed to fit so many different geeky references into it! The commentary is hilarious! Great job!
Lucy
Best Post Ever!!!!!!!!!!!!! Loved it!
Thanks for the laugh!
And Tinker Bell and Darth Vader on the same cake? I never would have thought of that.
Omgosh. Favorite. Post. Ever.
Space Balls, Star Wars, LOST, and the Princess Bride...
You are my hero.
Tinkerbell and Darth Vader? What?!
Wow - that was head-spinning. Hilarious, but also head-spinning! I got the Star Wars, Star Trek, and Firefly references (along with a Harry Potter or two), but I think there were some I didn't get... Darn it!
JeriCarey
Wow. Just wow. The Trekker/Star wars fan in me just cried.
Great summary, Number One.
Now I finally understand what was going on in those movies.
Tinkerbell AND Darth Vader on the same cake...for a girl? You're kidding me!
Love all the movie references and I see Princess Bride found it's way into a cameo appearance as well.
Well done!
May the farce be with you....
Sharon's Edible Art
This is quite possibly my new favorite CW post!!!!! I'm beyond impressed by the number of awesome movies you worked into it!!!!
I'd be scandalized if it weren't clear that only someone with extensive Star Wars knowledge could have written this. You are forgiven for having said you've never seen it. Besides, if that were true, Jen would have to shoot you (First!).
wv -- pinsplu: I got nothin', but it sounds funny when you say it aloud... pinsplu!
(wince)... Luke and Leia are brothers and sisters...
My geeky lil' heart lurvs all the sci-fi refs here. Browncoats untie!! Urp... unite. My cakery, it is wreckéd.
"I aim to misbehave" with the airbrush gun.
That was the funniest post I have read on here in a LONG time. Awesome sauce! Ghostbusters, star wars, star trek, super heroes and The Princess Bride all in one package. Who knew?
That, my friend, would be one EPIC movie.
That story's so awesome - and I completely lost track of all the references. Love GhostBusters & LOST at the end!!
I'm not even going to comment about the cak... cupc... wrecks.
This post reminds me so much of this:
http://vimeo.com/2809991
Hans? Hanssolo! or whatever.
Oh, good post, Number One!! I lost count of the # of mock references and misidentifications (the Life Savers took me an embarrassing amount of time), but I hope you've got your Epcot-shedding umbrella with you today.
One of the BEST Star Wars posts I've ever seen!
Way to go Hubby-o-Jen.
You know i've just discovered something. Cross enough streams and the door swings both ways instead of us all dying (metaphorically speaking of course).
Good post.
LOL very well done No. 1. But why is Darth Vader hanging out with Hans' friends?
wait...I'm so confused ?!?
BEST. STORY. EVER.
The expression on Tink's face shows she's as bemused to be on that cake as we are to see her there.
And when did Yoda 2 grow such lanky legs?
A briliant retelling. Thanks!
But Basketball is a peaceful planet!
That might not be the EXACT story of Star Wars. But I have to say. It's probably one I'd pay to go see. Couldn't be any worse that Episodes 1-3...
Brilliant!
Number 1, your references to Firefly have officially made you AWESOME!
Oh, man, that was beautifully messed up! I'm wondering how high the Epcot warning should be for today's post? Red? Plaid? =)
Rock on, No. 1, rock on!
Best. Post. Ever!
a princess bride reference in a star wars post? I love it!
Number 1, that was magical. By far my favorite blog post of the day.
brilliant blending of plot lines and characters, there #1. I, too, have never seen Star Wars. *gasp* But I HAVE seen Spaceballs, Ghostbuster, the X-Files and I know who Spiderman is. So I was right with ya! :)
Oh gods...I can't stop laughing! That was the funniest one in a long time! Right up there with Amber, The Fireman Hose, and Falkersautherhood!
That first Yoda cake, with the "slimy mud-hole" cupcakes is a total win. I want that for my birthday!
Too. Many. Geek. References. Cannot. Control. Bladder, I mean, laughter.
WV: Orkent - The child of Mork & Clark "SuperMan" Kent.
BEST COMMENTARY EVER. For real. I just about died in a nerd-gasm. That was like the real plot of a movie of combined stories. It was awesome.
It's sad that the firefly references made me so happy I forgot to be mad that you've never seen Star Wars :P
Vader and Tinkerbell were the best! Don't underestimate the power of the Dark Side.
Definitely one of my faves!
"The Hitchhiker's Guide" reference just made my day! Don't let Yoda read you poetry...
After reading this post,I knew I had to see the comments. As usual, Cake Wreck commenters take the cake!
I think I got all the references, even though I never watched LOST.
I know that I didn't get all of the geek references, but that post was genius. Thanks for the laughs, Number 1!
ACCIO "PEW PEW!"
hahahahahaha Awesome.
If anyone tries to correct you, may their isp be flooded by wikileaks supporters so they can never access the internet ever again ever.
I do believe this post should be "Reason Why You Love John #1"!!!! Amazing.
I feel at home in this post, referencing everything from battlestar to princess bride.
"Live long, and may the force be with you." So say we all.
This may be my new sign off...
This is the best thing I've read in a long, long time! Thanks for the uncontrollable laughter this morning!
Ghostbusters & the Princess Bride in the same post!!! Awesome!!! Near perfection!!!