Star Wars: The Next Generation
December 9, 2010 Remember Katie, the little girl with the Star Wars water bottle who's been unofficially adopted by every geek on the Internet? Well, in Katie's honor, tomorrow is Wear and Share Star Wars Day!
This is a day to rock your Star Wars clothing or accessories, and also to donate a Star Wars or other geeky toy to your local shelter or hospital. Cool, right?
Now, for this special occasion Jen has asked me, Number 1, to write a Star Wars themed post. What Jen doesn't realize (and what I'm not going to tell her), is that I've never seen Star Wars. Ever. But I've seen Spaceballs a whole bunch of times, so I figure this'll be no biggie.
Ok, so, the movie is set in space, "the final frontier", sometime in the future. Luke Skywalter is the pilot for the Star Ship Firefly.
("Oh I'm sorry, we don't make Star Wars cakes at this bakery, but we'll happily make you one with plenty of 'space'." [Yeah. Seriously.])
"We will destroy Hans Solo by playing checkers."
RD2D, CP3O, and Spider-Man.
Slimer.
Slimer tells Luke to "use the force," but Luke doesn't know what that means so he shoots him. (First.) Luke and his gang then go back to the Enterprise to fight Dark Vader and rescue Princess Leia. Again.
But the ship is now underwater, which makes it impossible to turn on their Life Savers.
Dark Vader thinks it's unfair that Luke brought friends to help him fight, so Vader calls a friend of his own:
Accio pixie power!!
But wait! Slimer pops up from the dead and casts lightning into Vader's helmet. Pew! Pew!
Vader falls to the ocean floor, and Slimer says, "You killed my father; prepare to die!" Then he crosses the tachyon streams to open a wormhole which sends Vader back to Gozer.
And they all live together on the island until John Locke finds himself dead in the coffin.
THE END
Thanks, Amanda K., Anony M., Autumn P., Amanda N., Sarah, Jessica H., Ruth K., and Mattie T. And as the brown coats say, "Live long, and may the force be with you." So say we all.
UPDATE from Jen: Don't miss today's CNN article on Katie, with quotes from yours truly!
Reader Comments (232)
Oh, this so could have had Epcot written all over it except geeky fans have a sense of humor!
Oh, wow. As someone else said... the content entirely belies the idea that the author of this post has NEVER SEEN STAR WARS. Got to love the mish-mash of different geekery that came out of it, though. :D
As for the last cake... I was wondering what a simple panda love cake was doing in this post. And then I realized.
It's not a panda. It's an EWOK. Cue demonic laughter.
Oh please turn this into an animated or live action short. AMAZING. I'm really glad Scully and Mulder showed up - thank god.
If I got all the references they are: Star wars
Terminator, Battle star Galactica, Firefly, Hitchhiker guide to the galaxy, Spiderman, muppets, Star Trek, Tinkerbell, Harry potter, Ghost busters, Princess bride, Xfile, Superman, Lost. Major Geek Award. Well done!
Techiemom
THE best post ever!
I...I think you just exploded my head.
I so want to play checkers with cupcakes now (combination of the checkers cake and the cupcakes with R2D2, Spiderman, and Darth Vader)!
Jen's totally going to make you watch Star Wars, though. Never admit to that sort of thing on the internet. It'll come back to haunt you.
This is one of those posts in which the commentary is funnier than the cakes are. You have the helm, Number 1.
WV: zinness. Zen-ness, translated by Cake Wrecks
The Darth/Tinkerbell cake is actually pretty awesome, and only kind of wrecky IMO. Seems like the kind of cake my 5-year-old daughter would specially request.
And the (First!) was my favorite part of the post, probably the most subtle Star Wars reference in the whole deal.
This is one of the funniest posts I've ever read on this site. Good work!
I think I laughed harder at this post than any other. Well done.
How could the commentary be better than the cakes. Oh yeah, silly me-CAKE WRECKS.
um... wow. I think someone needs some more sleep... I'm not saying who, I'm just saying
nice by the way :)
RD2D, CP3O, and Spiderman follow Luke to the planet Vogon.
Would it be too, too geeky to point out that the Vogons are from the planet Vogsphere?
...
Yeah, I thought so, too.
Now that is a great post! And the cakes all go together so well!!
Best. Post. Ever.
Best. Post. EVER!
This is an instant classic! Brilliant!!! I agree - you are my hero.
This made me laugh so hard that I'm so glad my boss isn't in yet, or I'd probably be in real trouble! Post made of the most WIN ever!!
This post ranks right up there with Falker Satherhood. :)
Once again, Cake Wrecks makes my day!
Woohoo!
Kim in Id
Bwahahahahaha!! This was one time when crossing the streams was great!
(Love, so love the Tinkerbell/Darth Vadar cake!)
Awesome, awesome post!!! Tinkerbell and Vader together at last!! HA HA HA HA
Everytime I need a laugh, I *know*, with out a doubt, you two will come through.
You.
Rock.
Thank you for all the giggles you've brought into my life this year! Looking forward to many, MANY more!!!
And John, May The Force Be With You! ;)
LMAO sooo awesome!!
But why is there a "B" next to Vader on the Tink cake???
Thank you for making me snort-laugh this morning!
Way. Too. Stinking. Hilarious! I think I counted about 18 references (some may be stretching it):
Star Trek
Star Wars
Spaceballs
Lord of Destruction (?)
Firefly
Terminator
Die Hard (Hans? Hans Grueber)
Spiderman
Battlestar Galactica
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
The Muppet Show or any movie
Ghostbusters
Peterpan or any Tinkerbell movie
Harry Potter
Princess Bride
X Files
Superman
Lost
Do I win a bozo button today? :-D
wv: imonfur: Luke singing Bruce Springsteen song to Leia..."Whoh-oh-oh imonfur"
*shudder*
OMG I am crying I'm laughing so hard. This is the funniest post I've ever read!!!! Thank you Jen for making Jen write this post!!!!!
Never has anything been so wrong, and yet so right. XD
Wait--I thought you said you'd never seen Star Wars? How did you know the story so well then? There's no way you could have known about the connection between Tinkerbell and Darth Vader without seeing all those movies.
The Tinkerbell cake reminds me of strange requests kids give! The little girl probably couldn't choose between a Tink cake, or Vader, and why should she!
I had a little boy once ask for a Lego Batman/Star Wars cake because he liked both - he was specific though, Batman had to fight Vader, and Joker had to fight Luke. Kids are awesome.
Also, this post is awesome. Beyond awesome, really! Number One, I think you are an over-achiever lol
So what I found to be the funniest thing is that I actually recognized all the different "additions" to the Star Wars story :) My husband would be so proud ! Thoroughly enjoyed that one.
What! Tinkerbell AND Vader on a cake...at the same time. I totally want that cake for my Birthday. Also I want that awesome Leia hat.
Yup. Best. Post. Evah.
So, Vader and Tink weren't the best drawn, but if you have a little girl who loves Tink and Vader, then the cake really isn't a wreck. But, if it's not what you ordered... That's a different story. Anyway, great post! I loved it!
Turns out that psychic swamp muppet was actually this bat: http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2010/12/photogalleries/101207-top-ten-weird-new-animals-2010/#/papua-new-guinea-new-species-bat_27185_600x450.jpg
This is, by far, the best post to date. I loved it; it was absolutely hilarious. Then, to cap it off, the last cookie declares its love for me, on my birthday! A great start for my day. Thanks
- Jill (a.k.a. MariaTeresa)
I. AM. DYING. This may be the funniest post in the history of the internet. But let me check that with Dan Quayle first.
So fun! Firefly references always make me smile. And I may be able to explain that Tinkerbell/Vader cake. We had a Star Wars/Disney princesses/shark/Cinco de Mayo themed birthday party last year. Apparently parent sanity is not a good reason to choose only one birthday party theme at a time. And I couldn't come up with another reason.
ok i must say that i think that his was one of the most awesome posts ever!(and you've had a lot) even my husband kinda chuckled!
Vader and Tinkerbell?
"I find your lack of faith in fairies *disturbing*!"
Danger Will Crusher, danger!
You forgot the part where they blew up the Epcot Center just beffore it fired on the ragtag, fugitive fleet.
But seriously, I want to liquefy this story and pour the awesome on my breakfast cereal!
Harry Potter, The Princess Bride AND LOST, all in one post!!! I thought I loved you before, but now, well now it's just something else entirely. I'm just not sure what to call it. Scrumdiddlyumptious works for now.
Oh come on, surely you could have crammed a few more geek references in there! Loved it.
So Say We All.
Hey, Jen... there's an article about you in cnn.com.. awesome!!
http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/12/09/katie.starwars.geek/index.html?hpt=Sbin
Congrats and keep up the good work!!
I can't believe no one else caught this one glaring error: it's Spider-Man. For shame.
This was great! Made me laugh out loud!
Sarah's Vader/Tinkerbell cake remind me of the cake I made when my son was 3. I had plastic Star Wars characters, and I placed them all on the Yellow Brick Road, with Emerald City in the background. It was *perfect* for him.
He just turned 18, and not too long ago, I was telling him how much I loved that cake, and how well it suited him, and he said, "Hmmm... it still would!"
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so funny! I've been missing reading my cake wreck posts - even my husband mentioned we haven't checked in lately. This one rocks! Thanks for making me chuckle. I don't know what was funnier - tinkerbell with vader, the checkerboard or the addition of 'mulder' into the melee. i'm gonna follow now so I don't miss anymore adventures.
Glad to see that Tink kept her 'dark side' at bay and managed to cover up this time.
Yoda, you're so... tall! Must be a 'before' image from the prequel, 'Yoda vs. the Lightsaber'.
The Ending! LOL!! Love it Number 1!