Star Wars: The Next Generation
December 9, 2010 Remember Katie, the little girl with the Star Wars water bottle who's been unofficially adopted by every geek on the Internet? Well, in Katie's honor, tomorrow is Wear and Share Star Wars Day!
This is a day to rock your Star Wars clothing or accessories, and also to donate a Star Wars or other geeky toy to your local shelter or hospital. Cool, right?
Now, for this special occasion Jen has asked me, Number 1, to write a Star Wars themed post. What Jen doesn't realize (and what I'm not going to tell her), is that I've never seen Star Wars. Ever. But I've seen Spaceballs a whole bunch of times, so I figure this'll be no biggie.
Ok, so, the movie is set in space, "the final frontier", sometime in the future. Luke Skywalter is the pilot for the Star Ship Firefly.
("Oh I'm sorry, we don't make Star Wars cakes at this bakery, but we'll happily make you one with plenty of 'space'." [Yeah. Seriously.])
"We will destroy Hans Solo by playing checkers."
RD2D, CP3O, and Spider-Man.
Slimer.
Slimer tells Luke to "use the force," but Luke doesn't know what that means so he shoots him. (First.) Luke and his gang then go back to the Enterprise to fight Dark Vader and rescue Princess Leia. Again.
But the ship is now underwater, which makes it impossible to turn on their Life Savers.
Dark Vader thinks it's unfair that Luke brought friends to help him fight, so Vader calls a friend of his own:
Accio pixie power!!
But wait! Slimer pops up from the dead and casts lightning into Vader's helmet. Pew! Pew!
Vader falls to the ocean floor, and Slimer says, "You killed my father; prepare to die!" Then he crosses the tachyon streams to open a wormhole which sends Vader back to Gozer.
And they all live together on the island until John Locke finds himself dead in the coffin.
THE END
Thanks, Amanda K., Anony M., Autumn P., Amanda N., Sarah, Jessica H., Ruth K., and Mattie T. And as the brown coats say, "Live long, and may the force be with you." So say we all.
UPDATE from Jen: Don't miss today's CNN article on Katie, with quotes from yours truly!
Reader Comments (232)
I laughed at all but the Luke and Leia getting together. They are brother and sister, ewww!
Space Balls, Star Wars, Princess Bride, Star Trek, Tinker Bell, Harry Potter, Ghostbusters, Lost, X files, HG2G, Terminator, muppets, Battlestar Galactica, Firefly, Superman, Spiderman....
So much much win in a combination! and yet....
my guess it that if you've *really* never seen Star Wars, you will have by the end of the week.
But I'm doubtful of that you haven't. This post has too much GEEK written all over it for you to have *not* seen Star Wars...
Number 1 needs a raise for this post.
Awesome. Pure, unadulterated awesome.
You had me at "Spaceballs." But to throw in a Princess Bride quote? Well, that took the cake.
DOH!
Best. Commentary. Ever.
I'm not sure if I'm more excited about the hat I knit for Katie being on CNN or Cake Wrecks.
This is such a fun post!!
Ok, I've lurked around here for a long time, but I finally felt compelled to comment. I was loving the beginning (girl geeks are AWESOME and everyone should know that), then grinning and snickering as I was reading. Then I got to 'You killed my father, prepare to die.' And I spit coffee all over my keyboard and choked, I was laughing so hard. Anyone who can use a PB quote in a SW post and make it work so damn well is a-ok in my geeky little book. Thanks for the post, and if I have to explain to my husband when the keyboard shorted out, I'm blaming you people. :)
loved it! thankyou. :)
Hands down, this is the best post ever!!!
Kim
Pefect John! I think you got the story just right!
Rebekah is so right. Only someone who KNOWS Star Wars would have added the (first!) and still been able to add that many geek references!
Has anyone tried to count the unique references?
I recall at least 8!
Okay, the "You killed my father, prepare to die" made me literally LOL. :D Great post!
Great article! Made me cry in a good way! :) Thanks for helping us all to get involved in this little girls life and help make a difference. You rock!
I love how i hate Star Wars, and have never seen a movie, and think all of the shows are stupid; yet i knew his name was DARTH Vader, not Dark. haha.
and i liked how at the end, Princess Leia was a panda bear. :P
My five year old loves fighting Dark Vader with his life saver!
As for the last cake... I was wondering what a simple panda love cake was doing in this post. And then I realized.
It's not a panda. It's an EWOK. Cue demonic laughter.
Look again, Anon. It's not an Ewok. Yeah, it's a panda...with Leia's side-buns for ears. Can't believe no one's mentioned that -- it made me smile big-time!
My favorite post to date. Love it!!!
Number 1 - I don't often actually laugh out loud but you got me twice! Thanks for that.
Number 1, you rock!
Best_post_ever
*slow clap for all those references*
Nice job with the Firefly and Princess Bride references especially.
Oh my god that was the freakin' funniest thing I have every read! Thanks for making me laugh out loud.
My son wanted to know how Anikan was fighting himself?
Confession: I've never seen Star Wars either. Everything I know- I learned from Spaceballs, Family Guy, and Weird Al songs.
Best. Blog. Post. Ever.
Great post, Hubby of Jen. I have only minor criticism. IMHO, you needed to work in a "By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Warvan, you shall be avenged!"
Oh, and some daisies.
Alas, Jen, I am afraid this might be my NEW favorite post on Cake Wrecks. Thank you Number 1. You have been well named.
Andrea
wv: atess: This post was atess of Number 1's Star Wars knowledge. And I say, A+! (even though, you know, not really)
I just read Katie's article online and down the page..."Jen Yates"...wait, I KNOW Jen Yates!! It's Jen 'Cakewrecks' Yates! Just wanted to say, you made my throat lump up a bit with your bighearted efforts on Katie's behalf. Cyberbullies, old school. People are using the Internet for GOOD!
Now I know you rock for another reason.
I love your blog so much, and I love that I'm such a nerd I got every reference in there. :)
Nerd, nerd, nerd nerd, nerd!!!! And I mean that in the best possible way! What a fantastic gallimaufry of references to my favorite movies, etc.--and I think I got about 96%
SO SAY WE ALL!!!
SO SAY WE ALL!!!
I've been reading since the beginning and this post probably made me laugh out loud the hardest. I got half way through & thought "the only thing that's missing is a Princess Bride reference" and then there it was!
Thanks!
Alex
I really want the Darth Vadar/Tinkerbell cake for my next birthday. My husband says I should get help so I asking you all to help me get the cake!
Thing 1 - My 14 year old son got all the nerd references except the Lost reference. I feel so proud.
Thing 2 - That CNN article made me cry. A wow-people-really-can-do-good-things type cry.
where have all the epcot-ters gone? I read the comments hoping for some bloodshed, but they must have *gasp* gotten a sense of humour!
WV "fortli" I would've fortli regular epcot posters would've fort to put their two bob's worth in!
Help me! That was frelling awesome.
wv: vessinge; back to the village vessinge!
best movie synopsis EVER!
Awww what a sweet kid-I wish her luck. The first cake I would call the Reverse Black Hole. The other cakes-WTF
wee! george lucas bought shoes from my boyfriend at sports authority today :D
I just read the article about Katie on CNN and was pleasantly surprised when I recognized your name. It was so weird to see my "friend" being quoted but I was not surprised to see you backing a young star wars lover! I love your blogs- keep up the good work!
-Allie W
Slimer tells Luke to "use the force," but Luke doesn't know what that means so he shoots him. (First.)
hahahahahhahahahahaha
and the Lost bit at the end. Loved this post!
Best post ever! I would have completely geeked out anyway, but you just HAD to throw in a Firefly reference for the kill. Nice.
Cake Wrecks always makes me laugh, but this one made me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe. Seriously, you almost killed me. Thanks. :)
I just wanted to say thanks for helping get the word out on this story and helping get people everywhere to feel a little better about who they are. Also thanks for being hilarious.
I truly want to go to the Dark Side after seeing those cakes AND the fact that you have never seen Star Wars. It is a way of life!! Those cakes should been blown up by the Death Star!
Best. Post. Ever. And i've read the entire blog.
I count 15 separate items of geekery referenced (some more than once):
1. Star Wars
2. Spaceballs
3. Star Trek
4. Firefly
5. Battlestar Galactica
6. Spiderman
7. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
8. The Muppets
9. Disney
10. Harry Potter
11. The Princess Bride
12. Ghostbusters
13. The X Files
14. Superman
15. Lost
Did I miss any?
Absolutely brilliant! Pure genius! Makes me proud to be a nerd!
Lmao those made me laugh hysterically while my hubby is trying to watch "The Last Airbender". Shame on me lol.
Hey Jen,
Been here a while compulsively reading very occasional anon posts but had to post now under my usual moniker as I just read your article on Powder Room Graffiti and it sounds like you have the same stuff going on as me. They originally thought it was SVT but now I get so called 'panic attacks' but am never stressed out beforehand and they can last for hours too. Terrible aren't they - sometimes I wish went green or something just so people know something is up and that I'm not OK. So scary but liveable - I've lived with it for over 7 years now and once I cut out the triggers (caffeine and nicotine mostly) have been much much better. Thinking of you x
HAHAHAHAHAHA, the nerd in me just laughed her head of :) Well done!
too funny!!! my husband is a huge star wars fan and is raising the youngest offspring in true star wars fashion! he pulled out some star wars toys we've had even before the boy was born!! were giving him some for xmas but he gave him a big obi one and darth vadar. and he L O V E D them!!! he kept saying, daddy, thank you for the koby one and dark vadar dolls!!! he's too cute. i'll be sure to pass on the star wars day info to both the dorks in my life!!!!!