Five Awesome Things
April 15, 2010 [UPDATE: We have our winners! Grammy of Grammy's Garden and ZekesMom10 of Insane in the Mombrain, please e-mail me with your addresses. Thanks!]
Every now and then, we get comments from readers that go something like this:
Yeeeeah.Well today, in honor of our friend Neil over at 1000 Awesome Things and the rest of you positive Pollyannas, we picked out a few Wrecks from our arsenal - and we're going to find something awesome to say about each and every one of them. Even if it kills us. Which, let's be honest, is entirely possible.
Ready?
*pulling up happy pants*
Here we GOOOO!
Hey, it looks just like corn! And corn's a great source of fiber! Cleans you right out! And clean colons are awesome!
Look how artfully arranged the tablecloth is! The folds are so even! So regular! Being regular is also awesome.
Uh...Noisemakers!
I love noisemakers.
Not that you'd want to put these in your mouth, of course, considering where they've been...but, uh...yeah. Noisemakers are awesome.
Gee, that looks like a really sharp knife! It probably cut right through that hideous scarecrow thing, no sweat! In fact, I bet whoever cuts cheese with that knife doesn't have to strain at all.Not straining while cutting the cheese? You guessed it: AWESOME.
Alright, now we're on the home stretch! [rubbing hands together] Bring on the final contender!
Oh, crap.[thinking]
[thinking]
[despairing]
Ok, I think I got it:
You tell me.
I've already read it, and believe me, it lives up to its name. And speaking of names, mine's on the back cover. So that's worth the purchase price right there. (Did I mention it's also half off on Amazon right now? Yeah. That helps.)Now go forth, and comment! Whoever makes me laugh the hardest wins the glory, while two randomly selected commenters will actually win a personalized and signed copy of The Book of Awesome. I'll even have Neil do the personalizing and signing. [waggling eyebrows]
Oh, and Neil is willing to ship anywhere in the world. So Estonia, I'm looking at you.
Chloe, Tosha B., Anony M., Molly C., Jeff H., & Rachel V., go make me proud.
- Related Wreckage: The #2 Way to Ruin a Cake
[John's rule type stuff]
When you comment, be sure to put your name. If your name is something boring like John, be sure to follow it up with something creative like (the hubby of Jen). Or, ya know, your last name. And remember, we're picking two winners at random so if you happen to be painfully unfunny like me, you can still win. Winners will be announced at 2pm (Eastern) on Friday. Finally, if you don't win, you should still buy the book. We could all stand to focus a little more on the awesome in life. Good luck and Wreck On!
UPDATE: We have our winners! (See the top of this post.) Thanks, everyone; your comments have been the best free entertainment I've had all week. ;)
Reader Comments (2218)
So we know who gets the books (congrats winners), but who gets the GLORY? And what, no book for the funniest comment?
*channels Janis Joplin*
Neil, won't you give me your awesome little book?
I left a funny comment, go and take a look.
Made a geeky reference for a cake that'd make you puke,
Oh, Neil, I wanna read your awesome little book."
is that caramel oozing out underneath? i love caramel. focusing only on the potential caramel. could be awesome.
Congrats to Granny & Zeke's Mom. How about sharing the winning comments so we don't have to navigate thru 16 pages looking for them?
The slimy poop monster is slowly rising from the innocent looking ganache covered cake. See what it's suppose to look like:
http://www.dogma-movie.com/pics/strip/strip6.html
The excrement monster from the movie, Dogma. I KNEW it looked familiar!
Sharon's Edible Art
Look how clean the stove is! Cleanliness is good.
It's shiny.
Hey it is made purely of chocolate and chocolate is yummy.
Plop! Plop!
Gee Whiz!
Oh, what a relief it is!
If the wreckerator had dung doo'd it correctly (get it? instead of done..oh well....), it should have looked like the Golgathan demon in the movie Dogma:
http://www.dogma-movie.com/pics/strip/strip6.html
Yes, I know I've posted this before, but my mind is now soiled with this image and I can't stop thinking or posting about it.
Sharon's Edible Art
it is awesome they can get poop so shiny!
To ErinW:
You said you know what this was suppose to be...please enlighten us!
Sharon's Edible Art
Clifford, the Big Red Dog left something behind.
This cake is a dieter's dream, after all, just looking at it will give your diet a jump start!
Wow!! What a realistic rendering of the waste of the diceros bicornis (rhinoceros)! I'm very impressed with the bakery for their extensive knowledge of biology- at least somebody was paying attention in 9th grade science class!
Crows love shiny things. And crows would FLOCK to that cake. And who doesn't love a murder of crows, right? Am I right?
Never more.
Hannah B. from Seattle- not straining while cutting the cheese. Exellent. :D
I'm sure the last designer is a Mythbusters fan - they're the ones who proved it was possible to polish a turd.
The reflection in the surface makes me look so skinny!
Kevin V.
i love how the icing is so wonderfully shiny but what i like more is the one little spot at the bottom that the icing missed.
WOW sorry I missed all this! I just wanted to say I LOVE the expression "pulling up your happy pants." Stealing that. Bye now.
What can Brown do for you?! Finally a tribute to UPS! That cake is a truckload of awesome!
I asked for a Jabba the hutt cake and this is what I got...yupp pretty much looks like a pile of turd...they NAILED him
Kelly Palmer
Over 3,000 comments. I can't read them all to see if someone already mentioned that John (the husband of Jen) you should stop fishing for compliments. You know as well as we do that you're hilarious.
I'm too late obviously, but my first thought is that Elsie the cow has resolved her constipation issue. Happy cows are awesome!
It is chocolate.
If that's chocolate and you eat it all, you'll be bound up and not be able to create anything like that. If it's Exlax and you eat it all, you will.
The Wicked Witch of Chocolate screamed ........ "I'm melting"
My very own meadow muffin!
It's not Brussels sprouts. THAT's awesome!
That's one awesome marble cake plate they got goin over there!!!
It's nice and shiney,Ms Weyand.
Well...it is chocolate. Isn't it? Chocolate is good, no matter what it looks like. Right?
hey, at least it makes all the other cakes feel good about themselves!!
You know I bet that cake was made just to keep people who were on diets from buying a cake. But, hey, you can still tell that it is a cake and that is at least an accomplishment in comparison to some of the cake wrecks I've seen.
Megan K.
I'd be willing to bet that that cake is chocolate flavored. And chocolate is AWESOME!
I'd be willing to bet that that cake is chocolate. And chocolate is AWESOME!
Miranda
It's on marble...it just shows how impressive and awesome they are. plus it shows that can afford "the best" lol
The chocolate is so glossy it looks like satin! And what a fine marble slab! Also, the person who made this cake obviously had some of the colon cleaning corn cake, and later produced this.
It's chocolate! That's awesome!
Oh, It's on marble...Marble is great for making fudge...Fudge is awesome!
I'm just jealous that I did not produce this one myself!
I give this bakery a thumbs up for getting in touch with their animal activist spirit and creating a home for the many ants in their showcase. Killing two birds with one stone, bravo. -Katie Gigliotti
I give this bakery a thumbs up for getting in touch with their animal activist side by creating their very own ant hill for all the ants in their showcase. Killing two birds with one stone, bravo. -Katie Gigliotti
That a bear could have such remarkable aim on the pork pie hat sinking into the ... quicksand.
Norine
Oooh Chocolate, I love chocolate.
All that frosting... and they still miss a spot on the side!
Chocolate! (Repeat a lot!) I am chocolate obsessed!
Sandtalon (For you Warrior cat fans out their, yep, that is a Warrior name)
Come on, Jen! Can't you tell the baker put a sh*tload of work into this cake? It just reeks of awesomeness! - Christina from NYC
It is very shiny. I like shiny things. Shiny is awesome
AT LEAST THERE'S A HOLE IN THAT, TOO. HOLES ARE GOOD.
Holy crap, look at the shelack job on that puppy! Incredible.
The hospitality division had everyone's needs accommodated--even the flies! It's a beautiful fly bungalow...see the little door in the front? How very considerate!