Five Awesome Things
April 15, 2010 [UPDATE: We have our winners! Grammy of Grammy's Garden and ZekesMom10 of Insane in the Mombrain, please e-mail me with your addresses. Thanks!]
Every now and then, we get comments from readers that go something like this:
Yeeeeah.Well today, in honor of our friend Neil over at 1000 Awesome Things and the rest of you positive Pollyannas, we picked out a few Wrecks from our arsenal - and we're going to find something awesome to say about each and every one of them. Even if it kills us. Which, let's be honest, is entirely possible.
Ready?
*pulling up happy pants*
Here we GOOOO!
Hey, it looks just like corn! And corn's a great source of fiber! Cleans you right out! And clean colons are awesome!
Look how artfully arranged the tablecloth is! The folds are so even! So regular! Being regular is also awesome.
Uh...Noisemakers!
I love noisemakers.
Not that you'd want to put these in your mouth, of course, considering where they've been...but, uh...yeah. Noisemakers are awesome.
Gee, that looks like a really sharp knife! It probably cut right through that hideous scarecrow thing, no sweat! In fact, I bet whoever cuts cheese with that knife doesn't have to strain at all.Not straining while cutting the cheese? You guessed it: AWESOME.
Alright, now we're on the home stretch! [rubbing hands together] Bring on the final contender!
Oh, crap.[thinking]
[thinking]
[despairing]
Ok, I think I got it:
You tell me.
I've already read it, and believe me, it lives up to its name. And speaking of names, mine's on the back cover. So that's worth the purchase price right there. (Did I mention it's also half off on Amazon right now? Yeah. That helps.)Now go forth, and comment! Whoever makes me laugh the hardest wins the glory, while two randomly selected commenters will actually win a personalized and signed copy of The Book of Awesome. I'll even have Neil do the personalizing and signing. [waggling eyebrows]
Oh, and Neil is willing to ship anywhere in the world. So Estonia, I'm looking at you.
Chloe, Tosha B., Anony M., Molly C., Jeff H., & Rachel V., go make me proud.
- Related Wreckage: The #2 Way to Ruin a Cake
[John's rule type stuff]
When you comment, be sure to put your name. If your name is something boring like John, be sure to follow it up with something creative like (the hubby of Jen). Or, ya know, your last name. And remember, we're picking two winners at random so if you happen to be painfully unfunny like me, you can still win. Winners will be announced at 2pm (Eastern) on Friday. Finally, if you don't win, you should still buy the book. We could all stand to focus a little more on the awesome in life. Good luck and Wreck On!
UPDATE: We have our winners! (See the top of this post.) Thanks, everyone; your comments have been the best free entertainment I've had all week. ;)
Reader Comments (2218)
At least it will keep my diet on track! It's very hard for me to turn down cake and chocolate and they succeded in both! They could do an Ad campaign for Weight Watchers!
Now let's speak out the obvious:
It does look like poo. But why not celebrate something as important to everyday life like poo?
The shiny chocolate cocoon thing reminds me of Magic Shell! And Magic Shell... is awesome.
You didn't mention shiny. The last one there is brown and shiny. When I think brown and shiny, I just want to dive in and eat it up. Think how slick it could go down and potentially come back up...
I love, love, LOOOVVVEEE shiny cakes.....they're AWESOME!
Debbie Lipscomb
I think the marble gives it an almost ceremonious look. This is what it would look like if a dog had done his business in the Sistine Chapel. Not every poop have the chance to be stepped in by the pope! It's a poop for the pope. Thanks for all the laughs/ Sofia Häggvik
Wow! Well, the shininess (is that a word?) of it leaves me awestruck. How's that? Thanks for doing the giveaway, btw.
-Carrie Duran
At least the ganache has a nice shean to it... At least this oil slick wasn't in the ocean... Thank God no one left this one on the door step...
oooh...there's a reflection!...so you get double the....oh wait..no... nevermind...um...at least it's chocolate?!? ... chocolate is awesome! :D (Nadia in T.O.)
Doesn't everybody want a marble bathroom?
It's so shiny! Hooray! And I'm PRETTY sure that's chocolate... chocolate is good! And it's very... umm... ORGANIC!
I'm not funny but think you blog is AWESOME!!!
"WHOA! That [poo] is well over 100 courics!" -South Park
(couric-standard unit for weighing fecal matter. Used in South Park's "The Biggest Crap" episode)
That, I believe, is a new world record. That. Is. Awesome.
-Kalli
Every pile of dung.. I mean cloud has a silver lining.. or in this case a very glossy surface providing a reflective flash to make AWESOME pictures in it.
http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii69/gr4fix/lionkingsilverlining.png
you can't tell me that's not AWESOME.
So....where's the dog that *ran* away from this pile he left???
I bet that chocolate is sooooo rich and creamy. Mmmm, with such a great texture. From: Wren Williams
It looks just like a pile of dog poo. Dogs are AWESOME!
Oooh! Look! Something shiny!
(Jason Jack)
OOOOO...Shiny!
Well, you previously stated that: 1) clean colons are awesome, 2) being regular is also awesome, 3) noisemakers are awesome, and 4) not straining while cutting the cheese is awesome. So this cake is the epitome of awesome, because we can see that : someone didn't strain enough while cutting (and eating) too much cheese, became very regular, probably made a lot of noise, and then had the cleanest colon ever! So how AWESOME is that?
Because it *might* be made of chocolate, and chocolate is awesome!
-Meg, the crazy redhead
It's clearly a post-modern depiction of the Uruk Hai as they emerge from the depths of the earth in Tolkien's classic tale...Tolkien...he's AWESOME...
I think it's simply awesome that at least they didn't try to top that pile off with an inscription on top. I would've really hated to see that one in the teacher tearjerker category. Patty (who used to be a fan of chocolate)
It's awesome how it reminds me of the wonderful technology we have now, like cameras that can so vividly capture the awesomeness of wrecks like this.
Manda (mother of Solveig and Linnea)
Its always great to see a lovely cake celebrating the legend of the ninja beehive. Such a compact cake with good burnt umber coloring.
(Either that or its a wonderful Aztec temple and there are not enough cakes of Aztec temples out there).
Cheers Tiffany
What's awesome about that last cake? Your comment and timing was perfect!
I always smile at Cake Wrecks and often chuckle, but after seeing that cake and reading what you wrote below, I laughed out loud. If I had not just swallowed my coffee, it would have been all over my desk. Thanks so much for always making me smile, and for bringing a big belly laugh into my day today.
Lisa from Cheboygan
It's been proven! You can in fact polish a turd! awesome.
Dana
It's not often you get to see an artistic rendition of elephant dung....that's Awesome!
it's shiny! Shiny things are awesome! Like diamonds...they're shiny....or polished silver...yup...that's shiny too!
:) VPIreiner (aka, Becky P)
It congealed really evenly...
That cutting board is splendid! I bet it protects the counter from all kinds of sharp objects in slicing mode
Proof that a bear not only poos in the woods but on marble too!
The SCATs (Scatalogical Community of Archeological Trusteeship) were delighted at how well this represented the momentous [snicker] discovery of tyrannosaurus excrement, especially that the texture accurately represented the questionable health status of the t-rex who produced the sample!
Apparently, you CAN polish a turd!
LemonyEmilyO
Having fun with poop cakes are ....awesome! Hey, Everyone poops and that too is awesome!
i love the frosting that's so evenly applied. it looks like they melted it and poured it over, so who knows what's really under there? a steaming pile of ... cake, perhaps?
Jennifer Erdosy
Well, I'll be darned if it's not Sunday today -- after seeing that last cake, I could have sworn that it was Sunday Sweets! Just look at the carefully sculpted homage to the 1958 horror film "The Blob" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhyRpvgm03g -- cut to around :30).
The slimy dung monster is slowly rising out of the innocent looking ganache covered cake.
That's sick and AWESOME at the same time!
Sharon's Edible Art
Ooooooo!!! It's SHINY!!! Who doesn't LOVE shiny sh...I mean...stuff?!?!?
That icing is SO shiny the cake is in danger of being stolen by magpies, which would be awesome (except for the magpies)
The only positive thing I can think to say has probably already been said one million times over but... I'll bet it tastes good!
Jeanette K. L.
What's awesome about that last cake is the cave entrance to Mt. Choco-Shine.
Laura Chartier
I bet I'm the first person to notice how shiny the cake is, and what a nice marble slab it's on. WHAT? I'm NOT??? Well s**t! I've been reading these comments for hours, and I'm about ready to involuntarily produce a facsimile of that cake... errgghhh! Anyways, the comment that made me laugh the most was the one that said "I see the Virgin Mary"... AWESOME!
KayDee
You know all those socks that come out of the dryer mysteriously missing their partner? Solved! Some lucky beneficiary gets to cut into that pile, sort out and (after repeated washings)reunite their unwed socks formerly hopelessly lost under ganache. Yay!
It looks like one of those oozing, growing slime monsters - so it's increasing excrementally... and that's awesome?
There's nothing like the sweet smell of success when you pinch that frosting tube shut after dumping it on a warm, steaming, gooey pile of cake. Perfect for birthday parties--just drop it off at the pool with with the kids! They'll come back so pooped from all the fun, you'll really be able to take a load off. AWESOME! (Emily Winn)
Good call doctor, that pink lady enema really did the job!
You can't eat the cool, marble slab and you don't want to eat the, uh,cake and not eating can help you lose weight and losing weight is AWESOME!
Shiny, runny layers of....chocolate
Hyla
Glossy! It's glossy and lustrous!!
Yes, it IS shaped like a pile of...
But, is a pile of... ever GLOSSY?! or even LUSTROUS?!!
Also, the more you look at it, you realize how elegant it is--look at the simple presentation. Anything else would be like gilding a...
Well, you know.