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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jan152010

The #2 Way to Ruin a Cake

Step #1: Take a perfectly decent-looking cake

Step #2: Add random poo piles - just for giggles.

C'mon, everybody, sing it with me: "Chain chain chaaaaain! Chain of poos!!"

Eh? What's that? You think those are simply palm tree poos? Ok, I guess I could see that. But, can you explain...[dramatic pause]...THIS?

?!?

Actually, this isn't too much of a leap if you figure the customer asked for a "Princess and the Pea" cake. [wicked grin]

Then there are the stock designs with poo built right in:

Poor Wall-E. I bet right about now he's wishing the humans had stayed in space.

And to think: this is what "passes" for "cake decorating." But hey, maybe the designer was wiped out after a hard day logging too many hours, and got a little lax? If so, let that be a lesson to us all: don't push too hard; you'll only strain yourself producing crappy results.

:D

And finally, a classic for the ages:

Beauty and the Feces.

Many thanks to my #2 wreckporters Kelli N., Wendi P., Stacey B., Jenny, & Sara B.

- Related Wreckage: Who Ordered the Poo Poo Platter?

« Today's "Feature" | Main | Ever Feel Like ----Thing's Missing? »

Reader Comments (121)

1) Who knew that Curious George was a poo-flinger?
2) "A dream is a wish that your fart makes!"
3) That must be from the scene in the movie where Eve shoots at Wall-E. Because she scared the crap out of him!
4) Isn't Wolverine's name really Logan?
5) Would a rose by anything like that smell as sweet?

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor@MyOlderBrothers

OMG! The commentary under the fourth cake is killing me!! How many toilet jokes can you work into on paragraph:)

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelli @ RTSM

Uh-oh! Looks like Sabertooth left some presents on Wolverine's lawn again and boy is he pissed!

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Perhaps next time you do a poopy post, you might want to give a heads up on what this entry contains. It does look very convincing (at least a few of them do) so I simply won't comment further.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershikishinobi

Obviously the last one is meant to be fertilizer for the rose. I mean, c'mon Jen, get with it. I disappointed you missed that. :) I mean what else could it be (Because, honestly, I don't want to THINK about what else it could be... and neither do you!)?

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Cake #1: tell the wreckerator cocanuts are NOT SHINY!
On the other hand maybe sometimes poo is...blech...
These wrecks go with that disturbing "man on a toilet" cake... [shivers]

Mocking

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

wow, what on earth is that last one supposed to be?? my 4 year old saw it & said, "That's poo Mommy, it's a picture of poo-poo."

blech!

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter=0)jessica

Yay! Poo cakes are one of my favorite Wreck varieties.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLily Anne

*screams*

AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! I don't even believe in dieting, and yet I fear I may go on one because my appetite is now ruined for the next 50 years!

Wait, I'm probably not gonna live another 50 years...but a middle aged girl can dream. lol

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

Are you trying to tell us that the potty's over?

Smirk.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdextrouslefty

The first one was pretty stinkin' cute until the additional "deposits" were made.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

The last one is really nasty but I give points for artistic skills. Looks like real poo

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMella

http://www.firstgiving.com/cakewrecksdoctors

Just want to remind everyone the Firstgiving page for Doctors Without Borders is still up, and wanted to point out that as of right now Cake Wreck readers have met and exceeded the goal of $10k, it is currently at $10,289

wv: dalic--isn't that a Doctor Who alien bent on destroying everything?

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

your wreckreporters never cease to amaze. oh my...

that last one is, shall we say, something else?

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermn_me

What is that last one supposed to be?!

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEG

For cake #1, I am concerned about why that monkey is trapped underwater with all that seaweed. Maybe that's the source of the poo.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterfaunablues

Puntastic!

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Maples

If placing poo-like piles on cake is the second way to ruin one, I don't even want to know the first.

Becky

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

. . . and the #1 way to ruin my appetite lol.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermorethanamom2four

Thanks a lot. Now I'll be singing "Chain of poos" for the rest of the day.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLise

lol@Trevor!

If only the Beast had understood gardening, he would've properly maintained the enchanted rose, and then he never would've resorted to kidnapping.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I gotta go.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

HaHaHaHa!!!! Great puns!

That last picture is....... um....... yeah. Astonishing. Yeah, that's it.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Holy crap! This is about the funniest entry you've ever done.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwrittenwyrdd

That fairy tale castle with the poop trail leading to it was obviously the work of someone who is experiencing a less-than-fairytale life, and he/she just wanted to make sure everyone knows it!

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

oh, the puns today! you are on fire!

wasn't Wall-E SUPPOSED to clean up crap? :p maybe they should have stuck him in a litterbox cake.

and are those piles supposed to be from "ass"teroids or something?

pretty pink plastic palace + river of poo blobs. I don't get it. Is it a poo path of stones? the color is so offensive compared to the pink. was it an "accident"?

nice captions, Taylor!

"Beauty and the Feces!" LOL But seriously, what is the intention there???

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

'Actually, this isn't too much of a leap if you figure the customer asked for a "Princess and the Pea" cake. [wicked grin]'

Jen, if I keep having these cake nightmares, I'm going to start wetting the bed.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think this is your punniest post yet. I love it. (I'm a sucker for puns.)

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterfunkymunky5683

Beauty and the Feces - I almost peed my pants laughing at that one.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

Okay, the last one really got me. Almost choked on my coffee... hilarious! What on earth?!?!?

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

I saw the first one and thought "that's not so bad"...

...then I made the mistake of scrolling down.

Pass the brain bleach, please.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Normally I don't get too riled up by other comments but...

SHIKISHINOBI, here is your warning. This is a site about CAKE. No real poop was used or misused to create the humour here. People likely ate the cake that you are so offended by. They ate poop looking cake.

And for future reference, ALL the posts here may contain some sort of something that may offend someone. Since you appear to be one of those people who are offended by most everything, Walt Disney has a really nice website you could visit without any fear.

Whew. Thanks for listening.

Rebecca F.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca F.

". . . and the #1 way to ruin my appetite lol."

I dunno...to me, it's only #2.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was prepared to be generous and could see where the decorators were coming from with cakes 1-4 (although no.3 was a bit too graphic, I just picked up something similar whilst taking my dog out) but that last one beats the cr*p out of me....sorry!

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

If Wall-E's supposed to be on the beach, I thought it could be pretty realistic portrayal of things.

But then I saw the next cake, with poo in space, and I realized I'm back to square one. (Two?)

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

cw3 doesn't make any sense...what, the robots are....fighting? and poo just comes out of their guns? or the poo field was already there, and that's where the robots happen to fight?
your commentary below cw4 is just effing riotous.

happy weekend!

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

I *almost* missed the pun in the post's title until I read shikishinobi's comment. You are just amazing, Jen. AMAZING. I wish I could be HALF as punny as you!!!

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKamity

Oh my gosh! My nephew got the exact same Wall-E cake for his birthday, and I was going to take a picture of it and send it in. I am so sad that I could have been published.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

Comedic and punny gold:
"And to think: this is what "passes" for "cake decorating." But hey, maybe the designer was wiped out after a hard day logging too many hours, and got a little lax? If so, let that be a lesson to us all: don't push too hard; you'll only strain yourself producing crappy results."

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternimcraft

That last one just makes no sense.
-Ambrosia

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteralogsdon

CakeWrecks
I'd like to complain about one of your site ads. It had the words "sex" and "gay". I'm offended. Please remove said ad or I'll never visit this site again.

Your loyal reader

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

I had to come back and say...I just saw the title of this post again in my reader and I had a huge "Duh" moment! Then I died laughing...#2 way! Hilarious!

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelli @ RTSM

I agreed with the previous poster. I saw the George cake and thought, "That's actually pretty cute." I didn't think it was wreck-worthy. I actually felt bad for the decorator that it was included.

Then I scrolled down...

The following cakes more than made up for it. Yikes. The last one. Really? Someone ACTUALLY thought, "Yep. That looks great. Slap a price tag on it."

As always, love your post.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatrina

Oh wow... these are just... crappy. (yeah, yeah, hardy har har) :P

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I thought it was handy the little grey and yellow spaceship on #4 had a big shovel on the back. Obviously it's an intergalactic pooper scooper.
WV: reoherub- where you go when you're too drunk to go to rehab...

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercolleenoz

That last one left a bad taste in my mouth! GAG!

wv:wayish That last cake is wayish out there!

Jen! you're so PUNNY!!!! love it! This post is hysterical...Beauty and the Feces??!!!! Commentary Platinum! (cuz Gold just isn't good enough)

@Taylor---NICE Additions to an already laughtastic post...

Happy Friday!

Bonnie

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBonnie

Cake #4:

Obviously, the space theme is intended to depict ass-teroids.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJohn

I wouldn't doubt that at least the last one IS actually meant to be poo. There are restaraunts in Japan called Toilet where the ramen, or worse, a brown curry, is served in giant toilet shaped bowls. The japanese have a weird sense of humor about and attachment to...poo. Sorry if you didn't know, but it's true. Maybe this cake is from a japanese run bakery?

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

We should put these cakes on the Endagered Feces list.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJust Jim

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