Cake Secrets

Because sometimes Wreckerators need to confess anonymously, too.

"My boss made me sweep the floor, even though I didn't make the mess. So I swept up, and then made her a special cake...

"...which somehow got set out for sale."

"You know that third time I asked you to spell 'congratulation' for me?

"I was totally messing with you."

"My watch is in there."

"Sometimes I like to draw vaguely obscene things on cakes...

"...and then tell your kids they're Oompa Loompas."

"I've never seen Star Wars."

"I told you it was a grill, but to be honest...

"I don't know what this is, either.

"Oh, and I licked the spoon."

"I really, really, REALLY....

"...don't like kids."

"I told my managers it'll never happen again, but...

"...wait'll they see where I put Snow White!"

Monica R., Sarina, Jes H., Kelly W., Heather S., Dee P., Marissa C., & Brian B, your secrets are safe with me. And everyone else on the Internet.

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8 Disgusting Medical Cakes Only A Nurse Could Love

WARNING: In case the title didn't tip you off, GROSS STUFF AHEAD.

***

Some of you pointed out that we missed Nurses' Week last week, but as luck would have it, today is International Nurses Day! So allow me to rectify last week's omission...

...with a rectum:

Bah-dum-BUM!

My mom was an RN for most of my childhood, so I've seen firsthand how hardworking, devoted, and utterly strange nurses can be.
For example, nurses don't get grossed out. Like, EVER.

Exhibit A:

Before you ask: yes, yes they are.

(And it only gets worse from here, people. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.)

Nurses can also be notoriously hard to impress with your collection of boo-boos as a child. It's like, "Oh, did you bump your widdle knee? I WATCHED SOMEONE'S BRAIN FALL OUT TODAY."

"So, yeah, I think you'll be fine."

(Ok, my mom never actually said that to me. But I'm sure she thought it.)

And I've heard of cobwebs on the brain before, but I honest-to-goodness never wanted to SEE it.
Hurk.

Nurses can also develop a... shall we say... UNIQUE sense of humor about the human body.

(For a proctologist, ordered by his nursing staff.)

Yep, if there's one thing I've learned from 7 years of looking at cakes, it's that you medical types REALLY like your butt cakes.
But it's not just butts!

Phlebotomy? PlebotoYOU, am I right?

(John: "That... doesn't even make sense."
Me: "Shhhhh...")

And poop charts. What is it with the poop charts?!

PLEASE STAHP.

I'm not sure which is more horrifying: the fact that this next one is supposed to be a spinal cord, the fact that it's a groom's cake, or those freaky-ass yellow things:

[shudder]

I left the worst for last, though, just to be sure only the strongest of stomach would make it this far.
(And also because John is VERY against my posting this one.)

Last chance to turn back!

And hey, even you medical types may want to put the coffee down. Just sayin'.

Ready?

It's really gross!

You're still scrolling.

Well...

Ohhh kaaaay.

I AM SO SORRY.

Thanks to Tricia D., Alexandra S., Katherine S., Amber S., Anony M., Lisa S., Rebecca, & Genevieve L. for the hand out.

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Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.