Ode To Moms' Body of Work

WARNING: Today's cakes depict childbirth, and are therefore not appropriate for children. Enjoy the irony. (And I'm guessing your boss won't approve, either.)

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Today, my dear minions, we look at the beauty of motherhood.

...in all its lumpy, oh-so-appetizing glory.

(Anyone else see a screaming face in there?)

Yes, moms, you are the oysters from which baby pearls spring.

You are the pod, full of anthropomorphic pea people.

You are the oven, stuffed with DANG GIRL, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR HANDS?!

Ahem. Sorry.

I of course meant "what's wrong with your glorious hands?"

Moms, we all know that giving birth is your single most crowning achievement - and I mean that in the most literal way possible.

So lets thank the anonymous submitter who made this photo collage for us. Just think: without the upper right angle there, we'd never have known this cake had an anus!

Moms assure me you forget all that pain, though, once they bring out your little bundle, all wrapped up:

Not like that.

NOT LIKE THAT!

Uh... You know, on second thought, let's get that plastic wrap back on.

So here's to you, moms, as you look forward to the day when all the sleepless nights and cleaning poop out of your hair will be worth it.

Because someday - maybe even one day soon! - your kids will realize everything you've done for them, and will want to express to you exactly how they feel.

And it will be glorious.

Happy Mother's Day, moms.

Thanks to Janie M., Hannah L., Anony M., Joshua T., & Candy D. for reminding us that Moomy knows best.

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Lose Or Draw: There Is No "Win"

You've heard of "Win, Lose, or Draw?" Well, I think I found the cake version:

Write, Wreck, or Win!

Ok, so it doesn't have the same ring to it, but allow me to demonstrate.

Write:

Wreck:

Win!

Pretty fun, right?

Let's try another one.

Write:

Wreck:

Win!

Ok, last one:

Write:

(It was for a teacher, so they wanted a picture of an apple.)

Wreck:

(Don't worry, lady apple.
He's not happy to see you.
It's a worm.)

Win!

I mean that in the purely ironic sense, of course.

And finally, a helpful reminder that it's not just bakers:

Now that's a "win."

Insert thanks line here for Anony M., Venieca K., Naomi M., Cash, Marguerite, Joan, Stephanie B., Kaisa K., Robin R., & Andy K.

*****

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