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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Apr102018

From The Baker Formerly Known As Prince

I was working part time in a bakery line
My boss was Mr. Wreckie
He told me several times that he didn't like my signs
'Cuz I spelled too "creatively"

 

Soon he had me lookin' for something else to "destroy"
But different from the day before

That's when I saw it - Oooh, I saw it!
I dropped it right on the tile floor (tile floor).

It was a
Raaaaaspberry purée

The kind you grind and then reheat to pour

Raaaaspberry purée

And if it gets warm it starts to look like gore

Raaaspberry purée

I think I loooove you.

 

Mr. Wreckie
Now, had the nerve to ask me
If I planned to do him any harm

I told him, "Look, man,
I was only bakin'
Surely NO cause for alarm!"

I said now, jelly roll cakes never turned me on
But somehow the purée and bread mixed

Eeee-eEEEE-ee! That was a fright!
But I could tell Wreckie missed me;
Soon I was back to my old tricks:

Thanks to the
Raaaaaspberry purée
The kind you grind and then reheat to pour

Raaaaspberry purée
And if it gets warm it starts to look like gore

(EW!)

Raaaspberry purée
I think I loooove you.

***

 (Goodnight, sweet Prince.)


Thanks to Diana S., Jillian, Katelyn C., Leigh E., Tara S., Jamie B., Renee, Michelle M., Elizabeth C., and Megan P. for showing us what it sounds like when doves cry.  

*****

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Monday
Apr092018

A Yelp For Help

Most chain bakeries have numbered order books, so you can just write down the code for the design you want.

For example, at this place, if you want a picture of a trophy you write down "SB1."

NAILED IT.

 

Beth S. didn't want any mix-ups, though, so to be EXTRA careful she wrote down the name of the design she wanted, not the number:

 

...which is how Beth ended up with this:

Doggone it.

 

Ok, you're thinking, but surely - SURELY - if you draw an actual diagram of the cake yourself, clearly labeled, this won't happen. Right?

Linsay K. agreed, so she carefully mapped out directions for drawing the Quebec flag on her friend's birthday cake:

She picked the color blue, then used a piece of paper to show the bakers just where to draw the four fleur-de-lis.

 

I think you'll agree, minions, that all of Linsay's hard work really paid off:

Eh?

 

Thanks to Veronica L. Beth S., & Linsay K. for giving me a new fleur-de-lis on life.

*****

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