My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

You, Too, Can Be A Master Baker

Next up in our Master Baker series:


Technique A:

The Gravity-Driven Rainbow Embellishment

Step 1. Hold food coloring in hand:


Step 2. Invert & squeeze:




Technique B:

The "Look What I Found In The Break Room!" Ornamentation

Step 1. Locate phone from 12 years ago in junk drawer:


Step 2. Drop phone:



(BBF = Big Beefy Frankenfurter)
(You're welcome.)


Technique C:

The "Paint The Tail On The Donkey" Style

Step 1. Prepare airbrush:


Step 2. Apply blindfold:



(Optional Secondary Step: Add some Hello Kitty heads for... um... er... oh just add some.)


Thanks to Lynaa W., Ellen M., Abby, Jenna C., Hannah H., & Kira for giving me an excuse to post my best selfie yet - although Jen says the duck lips one is better:



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Piratey Skullduggery

It's Talk Like A Pirate Day, minions, but I really don't know much about bandwidth or encoding or seeding bitcoin frame rates, so I'm afraid I can't hook you up with free GoT downloads.


But I CAN show you how not to draw a skull and crossbones:

See, as a rule, you don't want knitting needles stuck in a bicycle seat.

But I'll admit the rules here are more like "guidelines."


What's that? You want the redhead?

Drink up, me hearty; he'll look better that way.


And speaking of really bad eggs:

X marks the spot where the evil egghead hovers.


Remember, if there's ONE thing Pirates like, it's bad puns, numbering things, and the letter...


Pirates also like to growl. And snowflakes. And... running in circles? Look, pirates like a lot of things, OK? Pirates have layers. Like an onion. Or chip dip. Or a big floofy skirt. Or... dang, can't think of anything else.


Thanks to Bailey G., Alison W., Robin H., & Christi for not giving me a SINGLE opportunity to make a good "seamen" joke. What kind of minions are you, anyway?


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