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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jul162014

Don't Toy With Me, Man

It probably started innocently enough.

"Hey, let's add a little stuffed rattle to this design, as a free bonus!"

"We all know how much babies like cake!"

 

Now, despite the fact that this design requires no decorating skills whatsoever, it does have the fatal flaw of being a cupcake cake. [hawww ptooiee!] Which means, more often than not, you're going to get something like this instead:

"What the heck is it?"

"Who cares? Look, a free baby rattle!"

 

So, they nixed the CCCs and started putting the little stuffed toys on mini-cakes:

The vicious Venus Monkey Trapcake snares another victim.


Then they really started to mess with us.

1) Just how big is this cake?

2) Conversely, how tiny is that stuffed lamb?

3) Whichever it is, did the Wreckerator really think that lamb effectively "filled the space?"

4) Why put a baby's stuffed animal on an engagement cake, anyway? It has nothing do to with the design! It's like the cake was being wheeled past and the little guy just hopped on Bruce Willis style, riding it out to freedom while the building exploded around him.
(Ok, that last bit could be wishful thinking on my part.)

 

Of course, just when you think a little stuffed lamb might be appropriate, like on a baby shower cake, they go and do this:

That is solid icing, y'all. "Suprise!" indeed.

(Yes, I know "suprise" is spelled wrong.)

 

But getting back to the stuffed animals: like goldfish, these things are growing to fill their containers:

Sensible? Sanitary? Sane?
Good questions, all.

 

But perhaps the most important question of all is: When future generations look back on the day the "fake fur fiber fad" began, will this be one of Wikipedia's illustrations?

"With its high levels of sugar, fat, and 'colon-cleansing synthetic fiber', the Plush & Flush Diet soon became an overnight sensation in the U.S."

 

Bill B., Caryn C., Becky, Lisa Z., Kristen F., Allie C., & Emily B., more on point (ballerina pun ftw!), when do they start plopping Xbox 360's on these things, with little icing borders? "That'll be $467.39, please. Oh, and if you want games, then you have to buy the cupcakes separate."

*****

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Tuesday
Jul152014

Do the Math

There are 10 kinds of people in the world:

Those who understand binary...

...and those who think this is right:

(How do you pronounce that? Thirty fird? Thirty onerd?)

 

You know, I bet we could all use a little math review.

Don't worry, I'll start with an easy one:

Find X:

FOUND IT.

 

See? That wasn't hard. Let's try another!

 

What do you get when you add 2 and 5 together?

CORRECT!

 

Now, if A = butterfly

and B also = butterfly

then...

someone's getting fired.

 

It's all coming back to you, isn't it?

Here's a harder one:

Q: What's the Commutative Property of Addition?

A: If all you're doing is adding stuff, you can add it in any order.

 

Name a negative number.

Ah, good choice.

 

Word problem time!

If a train leaves Cleveland traveling at 60mph, and it looks like this:

How many hours would you have to run in the opposite direction to avoid certain doom?

 

And finally:

Can you convert the following into decimal?

Because someone really missed the point.

 

We did it!

I don't know about you guys, but I feel smarter already.

 

Exponential thanks to Cameron J., Jessica F., Ginny T., Carrie R., Allison S., Jennie R., Noelle, Abigail H., Julia S., & Laurie R. Next time, we'll prove pies are usually round, but some cakes are squared.

*****

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