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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jan112017

Great Expectations

I know we all love wedding wrecks with a schadenfreude-filled passion, but when it comes to what-they-wanted vs. what-they-got wrecks, believe me, it's not just wedding cakes:

 

You know those days when you wonder why you even bothered showing up for work? 

That's the top tier on the right.

 

 Ammi T. hoped to find a friend in her baker when she ordered this Toy Story-inspired Woody cake:

But instead she went to fecality, and beyond:

 

It's like two poop ropes shaking hands.

In fact, I think we're going to need a rear view on this one, don't you? [nodding] Yeah.

Turn 'er around, boys!

 

Hoo-WHEE! Saggy.

 

 Now, to be fair, I'm not sure how anyone would go about recreating this next cake exactly:

 (What is that, printable fondant? It sure doesn't look like paper...)

 But regardless, this isn't it:

 

That moment when you realize the awful Pooh picnic wreck is an engagement cake.

 

And finally, Virginia K. wanted this shaped number cake for her eighteenth birthday:

 

 But instead, she celebrated her legal coming of age - and all its unlimited litigation possibilities - with this:

So many things to say, but I keep coming back to those color choices. "Ok, you know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking EARTHWORMS and MINT ICE CREAM. Can we make that happen? Yes? AWESOME."

 

Thanks to Rebecca, Ammi T., Anony M., &Virginia K. for that horrifying mental image. I mean, sure, I wrote it, but still. I BLAME YOU.

*****

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Tuesday
Jan102017

The Winter Blues... And Reds?

I know most of you are tired of winter, bakers, but did you HAVE to decapitate poor Frosty?

That's just cold.

And the blood trail is a bit much.

 

Here, you know what you need? A warm hug.

Or a terror-sparked run for your life.
...which can also warm you up.

 

Tell you what, let's brainstorm all the GREAT things about winter! Like, uh... huh. Let's see.

Oh! Well, there's the, you know, thing there.

[long pause]

On second thought, let's just brainstorm all the BAD things about summer.

Like crappy butterflies:

Poo-tiful!

 

And streaking watermelons:

(You're disappointed this isn't a naked watermelon, I know. BUT ISN'T IT?)

 

And, of course, Mariachi Band Mickey Mouse:

Say what you will about his music, but this guy will really stick his neck out for you.

Granted, Mariachi Band Mickey doesn't really have anything to do with summer OR winter, but in my defense, it's 65 degrees in here and I am REALLY COLD.

I bet a hot whoopie pie would taste good right now. We should find out. Who's with me?


Thanks to Kathleen F., Jessica A., Stacie B., Jennifer T., & Lydia H., who I'm sure will understand when I say this is all I could think of with that Mickey cake:

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