Just In Time For Mother's Day: Ten Uterus Cakes

This Mother's Day, why not surprise mom with something REALLY surprising?

"It's supposed to be a uterus.

"SURPRISE!!"

Yep, what could thrill Momther more than an edible version of the thing you broke on your way out? (Er...sorry again about that, Mom.) And since uteri come in so many flavors (ew), here are nine more "inspirational" uterus cakes to really get those creative juices flowing. (Ewwwwsorry.)

Evil jester laughs at your feeble attempts to serve ice cream:

See it? SEE IT??

Hunchbacked Basketball Player Can Dribble No Longer:

Aw. Playa' got served.

Bullwinkle? Is that you?

Ok, while I agree with Bonnie Burton that everything really is better with googly eyes, I still have to draw the line at making letters out of staples. Yowch.

"But, Oh-Cakey-Goddess-of-Most-High-Snark-and-Random-Sprinkles" you're saying, because you're finally using my proper title, "What I REALLY want to see is a tiny cake crawfish inside a cake uterus!"

Well, ok, but only because you asked politely.

What's that? You want two slices? Yeesh. You're so shellfish.

Hey, remember that time when Dobby from Harry Potter tried to stifle a really, really big sneeze?

"Accio CHOOIEE!!"

(I know; that was a real "light bulb moment" for me, too.)

Gosh, all this pink is getting kind of monotonous, don't you think?

Here, this should help:

And that's how everyone learned that Jeannie was actually born a Smurf.

And now, a little "poetry:"

Q: "Why did the lady blush during her sonogram?"

A: "Because she saw a fallopian!"

***

***

Ahem.

Some people give their uterus a cute little pet name:

(I'm seeing a cross between a Snork and a Fraggle. Please tell me I'm not the only one.)

Lola? Aw, that's sweet.

I bet Crampy McClots-a-Lot could kick Lola's butt.

And finally, the balloon-animal uterus you never knew you needed:

You know, I never thought I'd like a uterus cake, but I've really taken a shine to this one.

Thanks to Laura A., Anony M., Erica O., Tanya S., Isabella, Dawn M., Sarah M., Nicki R., Sarah U., & Shelley T. for all the pro-creations.

*****

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Hope You Love Carrots, Mom

OK, bakers, Mother's Day is coming.

SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT.

No no, "Mother's Day." Moths don't get a day. No one likes moths that much, and they're terrible at guilt trips. (Heyoooo.)

Still no, but Fun Fact: a "mort" is "the note sounded on a horn when the quarry is killed."

::awkward pause::

So... maybe just print it out?

HOW.

HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE.

I'm told this is supposed to say "I love my mom":

Which means the printer ran out of red ink, and one of you heroically SPRANG into action: loading up the red icing in your piping bag... and piping a giant red scribble on top.

::long, deadpan stare into camera::

Ah, but it gets worse:

YOU DID IT TWICE.

Only this time you added carrots. Because if you're gonna confuse your customers, GO ALL IN, that's what I always say.

Tell you what, bakers, maybe I was too hasty. Maybe you should go back to piping your own Mother's Day greetings. Cool?

::sigh::

::head slowly bonking keyboard::

::deeper sigh::

Cool.

Thanks to Krista P., Kim S., Becky T., Katie O., & Tasia P. for making us all wonder if maybe Mothday Day SHOULD be a thing.

*****

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