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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Aug162018

No One Will EVER KNOW

To quote absolutely no one, piping mistakes happen. A slip of the wrist, a miscommunication, a minor earthquake - for whatever reason, sometimes things go wrong with your order, and that's when many bakers get to practice their most undervalued skill set: sighing a lot and calling their managers.

Still, the good news is that professional bakers are, in fact, professionals, meaning these ninja-like icing sleuths can leap into action, repairing even the most heinous of cake crimes with a single, uh...

Never mind.

 

Granted, some of them can be a little more subtle than others:

(I did say "a little.")

Then again, erasing names on birthday cakes is the most common correction bakers have to make, so it goes without saying that they are really, really bad at it.

 

There are plenty of techniques besides the scrape & smear up there, though. Other options include:

- Airbrushed Blobs

 

- Icing Blobs

 

- Icing Blobs Of Unusual Size

 

- The Sprinkle Dump (Oy!)

 

And for a real clean sweep:

- Stick A Smaller Cake Board On Top Of It And Just Start Over

There's nothing quite like watching a master at work.

 

Scoff if you like, but these bakers do deserve our occasional sympathy. I mean, sometimes your piping bag runs out of icing, and then what? THEN WHAT??

 

Oh. I guess that.

 

And, sure, wiping off a bunch of red icing may have accidentally made Mr. Cookie here look like a blood-soaked serial killer, but let's focus on the important part:

NEW WINDOW DISPLAY!

 

So at the end of the day you can rest easy, bakers, knowing all your efforts have not been in vain.

And that's no mistake.

(Well, ok, it is, but you know what I mean.)

 

Thanks to Kori R., James D., Stephanie J., Saara, Renee R., Kathie, Sydnia Y., Laura W., Charisse J., & Dustin A. for the reminder that turnabout is foreplay fare play.

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Wednesday
Aug152018

Romancing The Scone

It's National Resurrect Romance Week, minions, and as a "humor" blogger on the internet I am of course an expert on this subject.

Also John and I are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary this month, and we're both still alive, so... Yeah. EXPERT.

I've graciously decided to share some of romance secrets with y'all, so let's start with a few tips:

 

Heyoooooooooooooh like you were expecting anything else.

 

Tip The First: Let your SO poop in private.

Trust me, you don't want to be the turkey in this situation. INSTANT MOOD KILLER.

 

Tip #2:

Build your relationship on a foundation of terrible, often nonsensical puns:

Bee-leaf me on the nonsensical part. The more confused your SO is, the more turned on they'll be.

 

Tip C:

I'm not saying get them drunk.

I'm typing it.

Never underestimate the power of Tip C.

 

4)

Send the kids back to school. Granted, we don't have kids, but this one is apparently so effective even the bakers are hinting around at it:

 

5) Practice your sexy face:

 

6) Then maybe try a little flexing:

Just keep in mind flexing doesn't look great from every angle:

 

7) And finally, remember, romance isn't just about setting the mood or saying the right things or getting drunk and dancing the perfect seductive polka. No, there are other, healthy alternatives:

"Awwww yeah. Shut the door, sweetie; and bring the whole dozen."

 

Thanks to Sarah L., Johnnie L., Jen D., Chris J., Katie G., Noah G., Stephanie & Rejean, Carolyn C., & Amy K. for keeping love alive.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot: