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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jan182018

Tell The Doctor To Bring His Sonic Screwdriver

I understand, bakers. Sometimes it's an innocent mistake!

Maybe you really tried to make a basketball court:

And it turned out a little wangish.

We get it.

 

Maybe this was literally the 327th cake you've made today, and maybe your space shuttle...

...came out more like a shuttlecock.

(HEYOOOO)

 

And so WHAT if your baseball bats lean a little to the left?

Sure, they're reminiscent of some other types of wood, but chalk that up to a swing and a miss!

 

HOWEVER.
I'm not buying it with these next ones, bakers.
Because these...

...are NOT bunny feet.

 

This...

...is NOT a candle.

 

And no matter how much you grease my palm, bakers, THIS:

...is NOT a TARDIS.

Seriously.

Let's get a grip here.

Everybody knows: if you're not up to the task, then you call in the Master baker.
Otherwise you're just gonna blow it!

 

Thanks to Amelia B., Christa L., Katie G., Nicole, Sara W., & Catherine B., who agree that light bulb thing on the tip looks... uncomfortable. And that it must be really cold in there.

*****

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Wednesday
Jan172018

Lean On Me

Everybody clap your hands and sway a little, k?

 

Some guys and their wives
See only shame
See only sorrrrrow

 

But if they are wise
they know that wrecks
Are so much more, oh!

 

Lean on me
When you're stacked wrong!

 

And I'll be your end
I'll mock you WITH this song

 

For
It won't be lo-oo-ong
Until gravity

Makes sure that you're cleeean gone!

 

Please, don't tell the bride
If it's a wreck, it needs no intro

 

For
no one can tell; maybe she'll need
something sweet to throw!

 

Lean on me!
When you're stacked wrong

And I'll be your end
I'll mock you WITH this song

 

For
It won't be long
Until gravity

Makes sure that you're clean gone!

 

You just call on your mother
When you need a hand

These cakes need somebody to leeeean on!

 

I just might have a Pisa
That we never planned

These cakes need somebody to leeean on!

 

Just faaaalll free!
(If you need to end)
Faaaaallll free
Oh, wreck it, now!

Faa-AAA-aalll
free-ee-eeeeee!!

 

Thanks to Steve, Deanne M., James N., Rachel O., Jessica R., Carol Anne, Kat B., Richard B., Anony M., & Rebecca Z. for the wedding crash course.

[Get it? Instead of 'main course?' Eh? OH C'MON THAT WAS AWESOME.]

*****

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