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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Dec132017

7 Painfully Obvious Ways To Avoid A Wedding Wreck

You'd think everyone would know this stuff, but... nope.

 

- Try to Spell It Right

Do tell.

 

- Don't Use A Fork To Smooth Out The Icing

I'm as surprised as anyone that didn't work.

 

- Do NOT Put Bloody Antlers On It

Believe you me, I know how tempting it is. But don't.

(And to everyone saying, "But, Jen, those are just on the groom's cake right NEXT to the wedding cake, NOT the wedding cake itself, which is totally different." - This is me, shaking my head at you.)


- Don't Tint The Water In The Little Fountain Under The Cake Yellow

'Cuz then you KNOW "urine trouble."

 

- Stop Putting Muddy Toy Trucks On Your Wedding Cake

Just stop.

 

- Try To Avoid Any Obvious Metaphors For Your New Life Together

o.0

 

- And finally, brides, please don't jam a life-sized plastic mannequin of yourself on the cake

It's creepy, and trust me, no one wants a visual of the bride squatting over dessert.

 

Thanks to Linda G., Kay S., Kristy H., Meghan M., Kelly B., Diana G., & Brenda T. for the following important reminder:

DON'T BLINK.

 

*****

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Tuesday
Dec122017

Hanukkah Blues

Usually around this time of year someone always says to me, "Hey, you can't do that here!"

So then I put my pants back on and take my carton of eggnog back home, where I find people asking why I haven't posted any Hanukkah cakes yet.

The reasons are simple, my dear wreckies: Firstly, bakers don't make many Chanukah cakes to begin with. And secondly, see reason number one.

But really, who can blame them? Do you KNOW how hard it is to spell Hannukah? I mean, correctly?

 

IT IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE.

 

And then there are those mind-bendingly complicated Stars of David. They have six points, you guys. SIX! Pre-school did not prepare us for these kinds of manual dexterity challenges, ok? It's not like you can just draw a regular five-pointed star and then stick an extra point on it!

(Oh, wait, you can?)

 (My bad.)

 

Well you can rest easy, my dear Chanooka celebrants, knowing you'll always have the classic, elegant option of a blue-and-white-snowflake cake for your festivities:

Or a frozen sanitary pad with wings. 

 

Thanks to Ali A., Elizabeth C., & Jamie for helping put the "huh?" back in Hannukhuh.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.