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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
May182017

Bad Giraffe! BAAAAD!

When your last name is Hammer, there's really just one way to nail a baby shower cake.

And that way...

 

...is NOT LIKE THIS.

Aw, crap.

 

Still, at least everyone can get a chuckle over sh*tty "hamer"s. Imagine being the only one at a baby shower to see something wrong with this cake topper - which, incidentally, ALSO involves nailing things:

o.0

Er, look, I realize my mind's in the gutter often enough to sprout legs and start scurrying, but seriously... HOW DID THE BAKER NOT SEE THIS?

Ahem.

 

Quick palate cleanser: look how pretty!

(By Sweet On You Cakes)

 

Aaaand back to reality:

Oh, BABY.

Almost makes you long for the days of hammer logs and randy giraffes, eh?

 

Thanks to Elizabeth H., Emily S., & Robin D. for the capital wreckage.

*****

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Wednesday
May172017

Confessions Of A Master Baker

Welcome to another installment of...

Confessions of a Master Baker!
"Ordinary bakers. Extraordinary feats of bad judgment."


[baker's silhouette speaking in disguised voice]
"I guess I got a bit carried away with the chocolate drizzle -- you know, it's always a bit of a crap shoot..."

"I made my mother-in-law deliver it."

 

[whispered] Confessions...

 

"...and then I found myself smashing a disco ball on top of it."

 

[small sob] "I figured the lights would blind anyone who got too close!"

 

[whispered] Revelations...

 

"They loved skiing. Nothing says 'skiing' like giant plastic pickles and shredded Parmesan, right?" [hiccups]

"I didn't realize how bad it was 'til the bride threw it at me."

 

[whispered] Disclosures...

 

"They said they wanted 'steampunk,' so I googled it. Gears, tentacles, balloons - I was all, 'Hey, I got this.'"

"And, boy, did I get it."

 

[sound of pages flipping]
Uh...
ah!
[whispering] Formal professions of guilt...

 

"So then I said, 'hey, you know what'd be cute? Camouflage butterflies."

"But the bride just didn't see it."

 

Next week... on Confessions of a Master Baker:

"So I figured, put the babies ON the carrots..."

[light behind figures fades to black]

 

Thanks to Jessica W., Michelle B., Melanie J., Stella P., & Natalie S. for the delicious divulgences.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.