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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Dec052016

Ain't No Party Like A Cake Wrecks Woman-Giving-Birth-In-A-Bathtub Par-TAY

John tells me it's Bathtub Party Day, and John ALSO tells me this is the perfect opportunity to remind you of our second-ever censored Cake Wreck, posted several Internet ice ages ago back in 2008.

SO...

Who's ready for some life-sized, potentially-nightmare-inducing, definitely traumatizing, yet fortuitously-censored CAKE? Hmm?

Settle down, now, all of you; there's enough here for everyone.

And no, you CAN'T all split that little birthday cake; then who would eat the legs? The belly? The.. er...tracts of land?

More importantly, who would peel off the towel and answer that one burning question in all our minds:

...which would be worse, eyes or no eyes?

(John would like me to point out that this cake has teeth. There are so many things wrong with that statement, I don't even know where to begin.)

 

What's that? You want another angle?

SAY NO MORE.

We established last time that "Uprise" is either a really bad attempt at "surprise," the reaction your lunch has to seeing this cake (Hamilton Time: RISE UP!), or possibly the name of the birthing center where this was served. Personally I'm rooting for reason #2.

I actually had this submitted twice, by both Gina & Jeanette E, so thanks for that, ladies. I think it's safe to say none of us will ever bathe with our birthday cakes the same way ever again.

 

SPECIAL BONUS CONTENT:

Q: You know what the best part of a life-sized nekkid lady cake is?

A: The leftovers.

 

Note from john (thoJ): By popular request, here's a link to the uncensored picture.

*****

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Sunday
Dec042016

Sunday Sweets: Hand in the Cookie Jar 

It's National Cookie Day!

Let's celebrate it by taking a look at some wonderful cookies.

 

We'll start with a cookie of Cookie Monster eating a cookie.
(It's like Muppet Inception.)

(By Raspberri Cupcakes)

Cookie Monster's a macaron, a meringue-based, filled cookie that's crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside, currently made in every possible shape, flavor and color.

Like...
(drum roll, please...)

 

Disney Tsum Tsums!
[swoon]

(By Le Sucre de Patisserie)

Honestly, I don't know whether I should eat them or adopt them, but I DO know someone better give me tsum soon!

 

Of course, macarons are just one kind of cookie.

I found so many fabulous cookies, it was really hard to choose which ones to feature.

Really. Hard.

You see, there are cookies that look like they ought to be framed:

(By Cookie Connection member Sugar Pearls Cakes and Bakes)

 

Cookies that look like sliced rocks;

(By Cup My Cakez)

 

And cookies so cute you can't see the forest for the squees.

(By Sugar Coma Cookies)

 

You can get cookie puzzles...

(By Yankee Girl Yummies)

(I guess you'd start eating the edges and corners first, right?)

 

...and gingerbread cookie wedding "cakes."

(By Julia M. Usher)

(There's a tutorial. Are you feeling adventurous?)

 

And I don't know about you guys, but I want to plant this and see if it grows.

(By Sugarbliss Cookies)

Those succulents just look so... so... succulent.

 

Of course, if desert plants aren't your thing, how about a beautiful "needlepoint" heart?

(By Cookie Connection member Teresa Pekul)

Even the "mesh" is hand-piped!

 

For those who dream of adventure, here's the "Traveling Girl," inspired by a handmade doll.

(By CakesDecor member The Cookie Lab)

Don't you want to tag along, or at least meet her tailor?

 

You know, there are so many great cookies, I could just keep adding more and more.

Still, I guess it would probably be wise to stop.

(By Sword's Sugars)

What? You want one more? Well, WHO am I to deny you?
(Owl pay for that pun later, won't I?)

 

OK. I could never say no to you guys...

Let's end with this gorgeous cookie, shall we?

(By Mézesmanna)

Everything is piped freehand, with no stencils.
(Here's a link to a comparison of the cookie and the tablecloth that inspired it.)

 

I hope we've inspired you to have some cookies for National Cookie Day!

Have a Sweet day!

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