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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Aug162017

Wedding Wrecks

Pay very close attention to these cake pairs, now; I wouldn't want you to get the Wreck mixed up with the Inspiration Cake. [eye roll]

First up:

 

Elodie M. asked her baker to do this, only with far fewer rose petals. The baker obliged by providing this:

Ah, nothing symbolizes the beginning of a new life with the one you love quite like shriveled old rose petals. On the plus side, at least they distract the eye away from the poor cake construction. The weird grass sprigs sprouting haphazardly from the side and top help in that arena, too.

 

Next, Claire G. discovered the hard way how important "pipemanship" (as opposed to penmanship) is.

What she wanted:

(I believe this is from Martha Stewart.)

 

What she got:

Such delicacy, such grace...

By the by, I don't monogram much, but I think the middle initial is supposed to be larger than the other two. I also think that if "msk" were a word, it would accurately describe the leveling job done on the leaning wonder here.

 

And lastly, Hannah W. asked for this, only with square tiers instead of round:

 

She even brought in the brown ribbon and fresh blue hydrangeas for the bakery to use. Pretty simple, right? Just make some white square tiers. But you know how some bakeries are, always complicating things...

Let's see. Misshapen layers, lumpy icing, no ribbon, electric teal icing "flowers"... What seems to be the problem, Hannah?

*****

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Tuesday
Aug152017

In The Not So Distant Future

Greetings. I am Siri3000, your automated cake decorator. How may I help you?

"Siri, I need a cake."

*dingding*
I am programmed with 12 billion different cake styles. What kind of cake would you like?

"Well, I was kinda hoping for a soccer cake..."

*dingding*
I have made 23,000 soccer cakes. Commencing slideshow mode.

Cake 1:

"Um, you don't have to show me every ca..."

 

Cake 2:

"Really, this isn't necessary..."

 

Cake 3:

"Ok, I get the idea."

 

Cake 4:

"STOP!"

 

...
*dingding*
May I help you with something else?

"Okay. Yes. The cake is for my team..."

*dingding*
Making By Tim cake:

"NO! TEAM. Like a sports team. It's the Trojans..."

 

*dingding*
Making Trojan covered cake.

That will be $374.50. Charging credit card...

"WAIT! I wanted a photo cake!"

 

*dingding*
Making photo cake.

[flash bulb goes off]

"What - NO! Not of ME!!

"Okay, STOP! Just... stop. I don't have the photo for the cake now, but I will bring it in. Okay?

Siri?

...

 

*dingding*

 

Thanks to Aimee P., Victoria W., Jarrod P., Jenna K., Melanie W., Lorie B., Bridget & Jarrod, Daphne G., and especially to our friend Teeter of Red Rocket Farm for the inspiration:

................

Did I make you laugh? Do you shop Amazon? Then how about clicking through my affiliate link to shop? By visiting Amazon through that link, CW will earn a small percentage of your purchase - but it costs you nothing. NOTHING, I say!

Together, we can achieve wrecky world domination!! Or at least keep our respective cats fed. Either way, s'all good. Thanks, guys!