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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
May242018

No, I Won't Show You The Uncensored Version, So Don't Ask

It's National Photography Month, bakers, so let's go over a few ground rules again:

 

1) Stop doing this:

Just stop it.

 

Ground Rule The Second:

If the customer asks for a "cute train photo cake" for her 2-year-old, remember to include the word "cute" in your Google image search:

::sigh::

 

Ground Rule III: This Time It's Personal:

Look, I'm not saying a 13 year-old girl can't love a reality-show bounty hunter *and* frilly pastel flowers. I'm just saying maybe those two themes don't complement each other so well:

 

And finally, please, bakers, if you forget everything else, remember this:

 

ABSOLUTELY NO PHOTOS OF REAL HOO-HAWS WITH REAL BABIES COMING OUT OF THEM

Talk about your "flash photography." Heyooooo.

Though I'm sure the "lol" made it alllll better for the unsuspecting party-goers.

(The caption said it was for a "surprise baby shower." I'LL SAY.)

 

Thanks to Rebecca H., Silvia R., Eric M., & Adrienne G. for proving there IS such a thing as too much of a spread at parties.

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Wednesday
May232018

Trekkin' And Wrekkin'

ATTN Parents: Today's post may not be appropriate for junior cadets.

 

The saga of the bakeshop Wrecksurprise continues...

 

Captain’s Log, accidental:

Much has happened on our journey so far.

We cleared out some Cling-ons in orbit around Uranus...

...but the resulting explosion caused a gas giant to rip through the fabric of space time.

Even worse, now the engine room smells like cabbage. Ick.

 

We made contact with a new species on the outer reaches of the gamma quadrant. We had some initial trouble communicating...

...so I had sex with it, just to be safe.

Then I had to shoot it with a harpoon.

But I think we made some real progress there, all the same.

 

A transporter malfunction resulted in our first casualty:

I guess you could say he croaked. Haha!

And on a personal note, this crew has NO sense of humor during funerals. Seriously.
Bunch of killjoys, all of 'em.

 

Oh, and we lost another member of security:

We're not sure which one, though, since those red shirts never seem to last more than a few days.

 

In other news, there was a bit of a faux pas at our dinner with the Tellarite ambassador. It seems the new chef considers himself something of a practical joker:

Needless to say, the ambassador was not amused.

Anyway, long story short, we're now at war with Tellar Prime. Oopsie.

 

So, I guess you could say it's been an interesting week so far. Now we're on our way to Vulcan to assist with their first annual Knock-Knock Joke Competition. I can't wait to give them a hand!

 

***

"Knock knock."

"I do not understand."

"Just say 'who's there.'"

"But I already know your identity."

"Yes, but it's for the joke."

"This is a joke?"

"You better believe it, brother."

 

***

"Knock knock."

"This is illogical."

"Knock knock."

" ... "

"Knock knock."

"Very well. Who is there?"

"Orange."

"The Terran fruit or the pigment?"

"It doesn't matter. Either one."

"Then I choose Earth's pithy citrus."

"...You know what? NEVER MIND."

.....

"I do not 'get it.'"

 

Thanks to Shannon K., Jenny C., Leila A., Lindy D., Dawn E., Erin, Jed R., and again to Sharyn for the continued inspiration.  May your petunias live long and prosper!

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot: