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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Entries in Do You See What I See (130)

Monday
Mar272017

The Long And Short Of It

[WARNING: It's been far too long since I told you to hide the kids, right? Well, today's the day, peeps. No kids or bosses beyond this point, unless you enjoy awkward conversations. :D]

 

You know those commercials where you can't figure out what they're trying to sell? Like, okay, there's a woman playing cello in a tree fort - is that a perfume, a drug, a new protein bar, what?

I love those.

Here, lemme try one on you guys - buzz in when you guess it.

 

[Somber Narrator Voice] Life.

Life can get you down.

 

The never-ending rat race...

 

Pressures at home...

 

Sometimes it feels like you'll just never stack up.

UNTIL NOW.

 

Because now there's Sure Nova!

[peppy music starts up]

 

Sure Nova will restore your confidence.

Sure Nova makes you stand tall!

 

Whether you're hard at work:

 

Or clowning around with the boys:

 

Sure Nova can give you the life you've always wanted.

 

Don't wait.

Go for the sure thing.

Go for Sure Nova.

Small Print announcer voice: "Sure Nova may cause hair loss, weight gain, and excessively itchy toes. Do not use Sure Nova while driving, swimming, or lactating. Sure Nova is not responsible for your unrequited love triangles. Do not taunt Sure Nova. Improper use of Sure Nova may result in hysteria, mega Youtube hits, and a tie-dyed Fraggle penis.

"Which isn't our fault, either."

"SURE NOVA: Live life, grab life, make life."

 

Thanks to Robun B., Leigh E., Tharr, Anony M., Amber C., Jodee R., Megan, Dennis K., Erin, Alison, & K.R. for the first intentional wang cake to make me question whether or not it's actually supposed to be a wang. I mean, that could be a fuzzy gavel. Or yarn pom-poms on a tiny thigh-high boot. Or a giant clown nose. All things to keep in mind when your boss asks why there's coffee all over your keyboard. [evil grin]

*****

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Wednesday
Mar222017

Completely Inappropriate First Birthday Cakes

I'm pretty sure most one-year-olds will never remember their first birthday cakes, which is why I'm here to provide an invaluable service: reminding little E.J. that her (yes, her) parents got her this:

Any guesses on what EJ will be getting for her 12th birthday?

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, parents, but I think age one is a little young for boys to be discovering their bananas, IF you know what I mean.

And if you don't, just look at this:

Don't worry, George, all monkeys get curious eventually.

 

Things I'm Pretty Sure One-Year-Olds Like:
- Cheerful colors
- Cute animals
- Putting things in their mouths
- Pooping

Thing I'm Pretty Sure One-Year-Olds Do NOT Like:
- Guys with guns
- Who are shooting cute animals

 

This next one isn't a first birthday cake; it's a christening cake. So little John was, what? A couple of days old maybe? Right. SOMEONE GET THAT KID A GUINNESS.

Honestly I don't know what all is happening here, or what in that mess is considered edible. And I think I spied a tiny plastic poodle in a Santa hat in front of that tree stump with a face before my brain broke.

(ACTUAL CONVERSATION I JUST HAD WITH JOHN:

John: [seeing cake] "What is THAT? Hahaha! He must be Irish, huh?"
Me: "What?! That is a terrible stereotype! How dare you!"
John: "There's a pot of gold and a shamrock."
Me: [looking] "Oh. Right. Ok, maybe they're Irish.")

 

"But you look good for your age, Levi. Really. And hey, one is the new six months! I read it in Vogue!"

 

Something here just doesn't add up.

 

And finally...

Please let his last name be Johnson. Please let his last name be Johnson. PleaselethislastnamebeJohnson.

 

Thanks to Anita T., Amy N., Jill B., Amber, D'arcy, Vinny A., & Melissa M. for the memorable first impressions.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.