7 Painfully Obvious Ways To Avoid A Wedding Wreck
December 13, 2017 You'd think everyone would know this stuff, but... nope.
- Try to Spell It Right
;)
Do tell.
- Don't Use A Fork To Smooth Out The Icing
;)
I'm as surprised as anyone that didn't work.
- Do NOT Put Bloody Antlers On It
;)
Believe you me, I know how tempting it is. But don't.
(And to everyone saying, "But, Jen, those are just on the groom's cake right NEXT to the wedding cake, NOT the wedding cake itself, which is totally different." - This is me, shaking my head at you.)
- Don't Tint The Water In The Little Fountain Under The Cake Yellow
;)
'Cuz then you KNOW "urine trouble."
- Stop Putting Muddy Toy Trucks On Your Wedding Cake
;)
Just stop.
- Try To Avoid Any Obvious Metaphors For Your New Life Together
;)
o.0
- And finally, brides, please don't jam a life-sized plastic mannequin of yourself on the cake
;)
It's creepy, and trust me, no one wants a visual of the bride squatting over dessert.
Thanks to Linda G., Kay S., Kristy H., Meghan M., Kelly B., Diana G., & Brenda T. for the following important reminder:
DON'T BLINK.
*****
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Reader Comments (16)
Eh, the toy trucks could have been an inside joke with the couple-maybe involving a hitch or something :P but that bride cake is creepy-like it would kill you if a spell was put on it creepy :O
That couple with the sixth cake? The get along like a house afire.
1) Maybe they'll spell it right later - all in dew time.
2) If you've got the tine, I'll scrape the tier.
3) Deer, oh, deer. I think I can see why you're not fawnd of this cake. Maybe it was unused at the stag party. Will they serve elkohol with this? The baker probably figured this was a shortcut to making a fast buck.
4) I understand why you'd have a wee bit of a problem with this cake. I hope the tinkling sound near it is only bells.
5) This was a Matchbox made in heaven.
6) So many things could be said here. It's gonna be a hot time later on. "Come on, baby, light my fire". But the burning question is this - that fireman's "hose" sure has a way of getting around, doesn't it?
7) I hate political correctness, but this I could't resist. Shouldn't that be called a womannequin?
Wow, most of these are all double-wrecky: poor taste and poorly executed. What is wrong with people?
I haven't chuckled THIS crazily in a long time! That mannequin who's trying to HATCH her wedding cake.....?!
....what kind of mind ....
... WHAT KIND OF MIND!?!?!?
=^-.-^=
Hmmm, that mannequin bride cake...not only is she squatting, but it seems one would have to lift her dress to cut the cake.
Well, the worst villian USED to be the Weeping Angels...now it's the Shiny Plastic Bride...I wonder if Steven Moffat would accept a script with that as the title...<shudder> Just super, SUPER CREEPY!
#2 cake is not that bad - it looks like is made of corduroy,
I’m not sure what’s funnier on that first cake- the fact that it’s saying death is due, with the black icing of death to drive home the point, or that the words “Til Death” are on top of a massive, ominous black bulge in the cake, indicating that there’s a broken icing dam that’s going to gloriously explode at any moment, sideways out of the cake, Mt. St. Helens style.
Even without the misspelling, the black-frosted wedding cake is kinda creepy. Really emphasizes the "death do us part" thing.
Maybe they were going for a certain "look" with the fork raked cake, like Jane Lewis said, "corduroy".
I at first thought the antlers had been taken off the wedding cake and were resting on a pile of napkins.Either way, why realistic antlers?
Besides being the color of a bodily fluid, wouldn't the splashing liquid get the cake/frosting wet?
Maybe the off-roaders and fire fighters were just trying to personalize the wedding cakes. Unappealing metaphors come to mind, however.
After research, the female equivalent of mannequin would be "vrouwnequin", Also, I think the sculpture is straddling the cake as opposed to squatting, See, the knees aren't far enough forward to squat.
Is that bride a blow-up doll?
Whenever I see those "Bride" wedding cakes, granted I've only seen 2. How HUGE is your ego that you have a cake that represents you? I say represents because please, PLEASE tell me this is not how they actually look, not remotely. So yeah, no.
The Weeping Angels were the most ingenious bad guys in the Dr. Who world. The episode Blink is my favorite one. That said, this mannequin is quite a bit scarier.
Lol these are hilarious. Honestly wonder if wreckerators even look at the cakes they are decorating or just doing it in the dark.
Those 'muddy' trucks look more like 'poopy' trucks. :|
I like that "bloody antlers" can be a literal description or a British emphasis.