Hanukkah Blues
December 12, 2017 Usually around this time of year someone always says to me, "Hey, you can't do that here!"
So then I put my pants back on and take my carton of eggnog back home, where I find people asking why I haven't posted any Hanukkah cakes yet.
The reasons are simple, my dear wreckies: Firstly, bakers don't make many Chanukah cakes to begin with. And secondly, see reason number one.
But really, who can blame them? Do you KNOW how hard it is to spell Hannukah? I mean, correctly?
;)
IT IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE.
And then there are those mind-bendingly complicated Stars of David. They have six points, you guys. SIX! Pre-school did not prepare us for these kinds of manual dexterity challenges, ok? It's not like you can just draw a regular five-pointed star and then stick an extra point on it!
;)
(Oh, wait, you can?)
(My bad.)
Well you can rest easy, my dear Chanooka celebrants, knowing you'll always have the classic, elegant option of a blue-and-white-snowflake cake for your festivities:
;)
Or a frozen sanitary pad with wings.
Thanks to Ali A., Elizabeth C., & Jamie for helping put the "huh?" back in Hannukhuh.
*****
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Reader Comments (21)
That “snowflake” is clearly a teddy bear from the upside down. Watch that thing around your cats.
That last one is the rarely seen Hanukkah bear.
to be fair,Chanukah is an accepted transliteration of Hanukkah. Of course, the baker misspelled that too.
I should have known better than to attempt to eat qinoa while reading your hilarious commentary. I look like I tried to eat some of the maxi pad cake and missed!
1) Why is it when I read that word on this cake, I want to say "Bless you! Need a tissue?"
2) I know those are supposed to be balloons, but why do they look like dyed cow plops, with silly string trails? What were those cows eating, anyway?
3) After looking this over several times, I think it might be Donald Duck after his encounter with a steamroller.
4) What, you've never heard of the blue bear of happiness? He is a little flaky, though.
Do these cake-heads know that a Star of David is just two triangles? Really.. Now let's have the Festivus cakes ...
Am I unique in learning how to draw a star of David in school? I thought it was a part of world religion/culture studies in schools.
Plus its much easier to do in icing than whatever those are on that second cake
The easiest and best way to draw a six sided star is to draw two squares overlapping, then scratch out two of the points (or cover them up with more frosting).
Come on, Bakers!
I'll take your hooka hannah and raise you a cookie that doesn't belong here (but should).
And, does ANYONE else see Donald Duck in the next to last cake???
=^e.e^=
A Frozen sanitary pad? I think Disney's gone too far this time. "Let it flow, let it flow..."
That dreidel kinda looks like a bad sketch of Donald Duck to me.
bwwaaaahhahaha
I think I see a Teddy Bear shape in that last one.
OMG N3VER HAVE I EVER SEEN MY NAME BE THE AUTOCORRECT.
No seriously... how does Dreidel go to Deirdre...
But
This is why we don’t eat cake on Hanukkah.
Another day of being sick and seeing these cakes all my hubby could hear was hoarse laughter coming from the living room. I think he thought I was dying since he came in so fast lol. Wreckerators haven't killed me... yet.
Not to be confused with Han's Nuka Cola, of course. Also, I don't see the dreidel cake that other commenters are mentioning???
In case anyone doesn't know, a nice fresh frosty frozen pad every few hours is your very best friend for the first few days after giving birth. Spray a little witch-hazel water on them, stick 'em in the deep freeze. Mmmm.
How to draw a Star of David:
Step 1. Draw a point up isosceles triangle
Step 2. Draw a point down isosceles triangle with the base one third below the point of the first triangle.
Done!
I only see three cakes. Where is the dreidel/Donald Duck cake? Inquiring minds want to know.
Sad. Getting a Star of David to look even and neat is far easier than the five pointed type. But instead they did sloppy 5-pointed stars with a random horn sticking out.
Go to a Jewish deli/bakery and avoid all this crazy scribbling. LOL