When Gangsters Go "PC"
December 14, 2017 "Bugsy, whaddaya doin'?"
"Just decoratin' this here Christmas cake, boss."
"Bugsy, you can't write "Christmas" there - it's gonna offend somebody! An' don't call me 'boss'."
"Sorry, boss. Can I write 'happy holidays'?"
"Nah, dat'll offend people who don't celebrate no holidays."
"Can I just use red and green icin' and not write nuthin'?"
"Bugsy, ya knucklehead, think about it: red and green say 'Christmas', see? S'no good. Use a lotta blue - but not blue and white, mind, 'cause dat's all Hanukkah-like. Maybe try blue and poiple."
"Yeah, but what do I write, boss?"
"I dunno; Lil' Antony said it's just gotta be 'completely non-offensive-like, says nuthin' of substance, and don't reference no holidays.' Oh, and it can't start wit' 'happy' or 'merry', neither - people might think we're forcing our 'emotional views' on 'em, whatever da heck dat means."
[sigh] "Ok, boss."
"Don't call me 'boss'."
;)
Wow, Tanya C., I'm getting filled with the holiday spirit just looking at this. I think the underline really sells it, don't you?
*****
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Reader Comments (12)
In keeping with the gangster theme and the look of the snowman, here goes...
Frosty, the snowman, he's standing there all alone,
Hands in the air, as he stares at the guns of Al Capone.
Frosty, the snowman, how badly did you blunder,
That you had to choose cement overshoes, or be buried six feet under?
Frosty, the snowman, did you ponder once or twice?
It's not a real good job to cross the mob, but at least you'll be on ice.
OMG, are you also fans of Oscar!? I love that movie.
I love that show! I was introduced to Oscar when my husband's brother named their son Anthony. He kept calling him Little Antny. What a fun movie! Thanks for referencing it today- totally cheered up my morning!
Sometimes, I just need a "like" button.
Though it’s summer in the Southern hemisphere.
I'm getting all 4 cookies so I can hang 'em on the wall instead of buying one of those expensive calendars. And these will last 4EVER.
Lolol@Mike XD I can just FEEL the love and holiday spirit :P
I'm from the southern hemisphere where it's not winter, so I'm offended by this cake!
/excellent dialogue btw
Lol well now we know it's winter cause that snowman told us so. Poor lonely snowman.
"Oscar" is my favorite movie!
I was just hoping that this post would make it as one of the best. It is one of my all time favorites!
Okay, I'm looking at your older entries and first I'm impressed by your Festivus knowledge, but now I'm jumping up and down because you know "Oscar"!!! I love your sense of humor - you remind me of me sometimes...and that's scary. Just like "yous bankers".