Monday
Jun102013
Help Me, Princess Bride; You're My Only Hope
June 10, 2013 There are times when I get wrecks SO baffling that even I don't know what they're supposed to be.
During these times, I turn to The Princess Bride for help.
;)
"Do you hear that? Those are the shrieking eels."
;)
"That is the sound of ultimate suffering. The man in black makes it now."
(He's just over there, screaming at the mixer.)
;)
"The chocolate coating helps it go down easier."
(We hope.)
;)
"I've just sucked one year of your life away."
;)
"It's the PIT of DESPAAAAIR."
"I'm not saying I'd build a summer home here, but the trees are really quite lovely." ;)
And, of course:
;)
"You ARE the Brute Squad!"
Thanks to Jackie K., Victoria E., Hopkin, Amy J., Lena C., Stephanie, and Amy B. for the inconceivably good time.
Reader Comments (128)
OH MY GAAH ANDREA THE BARE NECESSITIES REFERENCE! I am *literally* commenting JUST for that--talk about an EARWORM! Dear Heavens! Anyway, those are CLEARLY vampire bats dripping blood from their fangs on Andrea's cake, but that's the only one I could decipher... Incidentally, as the the "hen's pasta" first cake, "penne" in Italian--yes as in the pasta--is actually the word for the male member as well. The More You Know(tm) <*whoosh*> * <-- Star
I love that you can insert TPB anywhere and it totally fits! The last cake is supposed to be a Marshawn Lynch cake. He's #24 for the Seattle Seahawks and his gimmick is that Skittles are his favorite. I believe people even throw them whenever he makes a touchdown (hence the phrase "Feed the beast" on the cake).
Even at my best, I could not eat so many...
@Karen:
A horse is a horse, of course, of course
But no-one can see it's a horse, of course
A one-legged cup-cake cakey horse
Done up in poop-swirl brown!
I looked at that first cake from every angle possible, and I still can't figure it out.
And on a side note, I think I need to give the Princess Bride another chance. I (gasp) didn't like it the first time I saw it.
My 3 year old explained the thing with the skittles to me. It's a yucky cake octopus.
Well now I won't be eating cake in the near future thanks to that first cake. What on earth is it?? I can't even begin to think what the wreckerators were supposed to come up with. Mystery. Plus being sick it's making me a little green lol.
Albino Cthulhu emerging from a mysterious lake is my favorite out of this bunch.
@fluffy-girl: indeed, based on that (NSFW) page of "Bachelors/Hens Night" cakes, a nest of baby trouser snakes seems the best explanation. (For once, it isn't all in our minds.) Still, even for a bachlorette cake, a whole crop of itty bitty weenies seems...odd.
@Just Andrea: I didn't see it before, but yeah, I think the insurance company just wrote K.I.T.T. off as totaled. Apparently Michael made it out and stumbled around leaving a trail of bloody footprints before he fell off the cupcake cliff.
Also, I've now got a singing bear stuck in my head.
Even if the first one was supposed to be some sort of bris cake (which it apparently isn't), it would still be seriously twisted. I mean, I'm not Jewish, but the last time I checked, the idea was not to cut the whole thing off (and stick it on a cake)! Ouch, ouch, icky, ewww!
@ Aquila:
So, if "penne" means "male member," does that mean that all penne pals have to be guys? Because, y'know, if so, it could stir up a whole big tempest in a pee pot.
=^>.<^=
The tuxedo cake looks like it is decorated with the symbol of one of the Germanic student orders (I have given the URL of an incomplete list of them).
My first thought at seeing the first cake was it was supposed to be an MLT, with nice lean mutton and very BIG tomatoes! :)
Can I just say that the Princess Bride is in my top 10 of all time favorite movies and your captions were PERFECT!! This post actually made me laugh out loud...like deep belly laugh out loud.
You might have been reading Cake Wrecks and/or Epbot too long if...
1.) You see that THE PRINCESS BRIDE is on television and wonder if Jen is watching it.
2.) You call the blogger by her first name like you know her.
3.) Lists are funnier in threes, but I'm out.
Oh, Sharyn! That song's a win!
@Eric re: "And now....introducingggggg....the Cream Cheese Tuxedos performing their latest hit "Its not a Pit of Despair, its a Seed of Loneliness"!
If that happens- I'm totally blaming you! (horrified shudder)
Inconssssseivable
(Fall sideways dead)
surely this quote fits in here somewhere:
"And that's what she is, the Queen of Refuse. So bow down to her if you want, bow to her. Bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of Putrescence. Boo. Boo. Rubbish. Filth. Slime. Muck. Boo. Boo. Boo."
Thank you, Naomi! You saw what I saw, and now I don't have to worry that it's just me seeing a crop of phalluses erupting from a lady garden.
"There’s a shortage of perfect cakes in this world..."
Ha! Dude, I'm on cake wrecks. The PIT of DESPAAAAIR is mine! From good ol' Hudson FL. So fitting - which makes it all the funnier!
What on earth is that eel/noodle/genital thing supposed to be? It's going to give me nightmares. And I'm pretending the CCC is a horse...with severe malformations. i
This post killed me. My sides hurt!!!
The Princess Bride is my all time favorite movie. I don't get a chance to read your blog as often as I would like, but when I do, I always make sure to catch up on everything I've missed. So imagine my surprise, as I'm sitting here watching The Princess Bride, to see this post. The cakes are awful. The commentary is hilarious and I'm a happy camper! Thank you so much and keep doing what you do! (I just hope none of my cakes ever show up here, hehe!)
@Aquila: *bows*
@hyphen8: Teehee. Thanks for filling in the details!
IF those are male members, WHY are they grey? Nope. Worms. The Bachelorettes were going fishing and that cake depicts the bait box.
What about the ROUSes?
It's obvious that the Tuxedo Cake has a white Cthulhu... in an oil spill.
Sadly I think the PIT of DESPAAAAIR is suppose to be a graduation cap! Do you see it? Just squint your eyes now lean to the right. lol
You never once mentioned how these cakes smell. If you lean in, you get... Whiffs of INSANITY!
The cakes were horrendous.
The quotes were properly punctuated.
The cross-referencing of Star Wars and Princess Bride brought this post to perfect Nerd Level. I applaud you!
Apparently the first cake is a tribute to vienna sausages.