Tuesday
May152012
WYSINWYG
May 15, 2012 What you see...
;)
...is NOT what you get.
;)
(Change the "ride" to "wreck," and you've got a deal.)
From wedding tiers of roses...
;)
Ooooooh. Drippy.
To rows of wedding tears:
;)
Hershey's Syrup:
You're doing it wrong.
Here's a little Disney magic for you:
;)
Bippity, Boppity...
;)
BOO!
Ah, but that's nothing. Want to see something REALLY wild?
;)
This is what happens when animal print cakes feel blue:
;)
And also kind of intestine-y.
Thanks to Jessica W., Diana B., Gina L., & Leighanne G. for the excuse to use "intestine-y." I've been holding on to that one for YEARS.
Reader Comments (59)
oh oh ooooh O>0
Are we sure the "giraffe" one is made of cake. I think my Granddaughter made something just like that out of her PlayDoh when she was 4 or 5. How do you get a cake so lumpy looking? Bad foudant? Lumpy frosting? So many questions - so many BAD cakes.
CorgiLvr of Horace
OMG, I F'LOVE the "missed mark" posts! And these are just SO bad. I feel bad for the customer, I feel bad for the baker, but I enjoy the heck out of the wreckiness!
"Intestiney-y" ---you know, that is one of those words I could have gone my entire life without every hearing...
One of these cakes is not like the other
One of these cakes just doesn't belong
Was it baked by a professional baker
Or instead by his Seeing-Eye Dog?
Black play-doh is vomit inducing
Hershey's drizzle's really just wrong
MIckey cake -- an example of fon-don't
Smurf intestines finish our song.
Wow! Was that last one made with Play-Doh...by Alipaige herself?
Fondant, drips, Play-Doh
Disappointment overwhelms
Intestines? No thanks
You know at least the baker of the "Play-Doh" inspired cake had the decency to distract from the cake but adding a cuke foam tiara, whereas the baker who made the slimy Hershey's cake (who should be hanging their head in shame) didn't even try!
Oh. Oh dear. Why did they decide to make that last one out of modeling clay? That probably didn't help.
Faced with these requests, the eager Wreckerators think, "Great! I've been wanting see what it's like to work with fondant!" Yyyyyeah, I'm sure the next one will be so much better!
Those stars and Mickey heads on the Disney cake look like they were sculpted out of a block of sharp cheddar...not exactly appetizing :\
Bravo Sharyn, Bravo.
The Hershey-drippy cake almost looks as if it's an ice cream cake (which could explain Hershey's syrup on it - almost)
I feel so sorry for those customers-i"d hate to be the one that dragged those pathetic things to a party. As for Sharyn XD XD
Although I feel terrible for the ones that had to celebrate with these "cakes", I will say the inspiration cakes/missed mark/wysinwyg posts are my favorite!
Alipaige's cake looks like some of the crappy jewelry I used to make out of Fimo clay. There's a reason I don't do that anymore. It looked gross as jewelry, even nastier as a cake.
I don't know. I'm in a charitable mood this morning. Granted, getting such cakes from a supposed professional baker and paying professional prices would make me grumpy. But, when not compared to the works of art references, they're credible amateur efforts. Mostly, I'm looking at the "Mickey" cake.
On that subject, those exquisite super cakes are works of art. So exquisite that they no longer look like food. I don't find myself salivating in anticipation of a slice any more than I'd want to take a nibble off a Rembrandt or Van Gogh.
Oh, Sharyn, how we've missed you! Smurf intestines! Hee.
Why do I hear "MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!" when the I read the second "Ride With Me Forever" cake?
Has anyone here seen The Sandlot? For-e-VER. For-e-VER.
NO! You are supposed to chop OFF the head of a Leviathan!
Poor Kate's cake. It looks like it's unhappy.
Oh, my. Alipaige's cake looks like they put on the intestine-y pink parts first and filled in the blue and purple parts AFTER.
This has nothing to do with today's (hilarious!) post. It is really in response to some recent questions of "Is it a wreck?" Remember that old song Who Wrote the Book of Love? Well, this is my wreck-version.
Do you wonder, wonder who, who-oo-o
Who wrote the Book of Wrecks?
Jen did, Jen did, Jen did
Oh, Jen wrote the Book of Wrecks.
Now you know the answer
Let’s look at some subjects:
(Do you wonder, wonder who, who-oo-o
Who wrote the Book of Wrecks?)
A wreck might be “just funny”,
Amber knows it’s true.
It could be “beyond bizarre”
As Ken will attest to.
(Do you wonder wonder who, who-oo-o
Who wrote the Book of Wrecks?)
Chapter one you’ll laugh hard, as the fire hose tinkles;
Chapter two will tell you, you’ll never, never, never, never get sprinkles.
Chapter three remember the meaning of a wreck;
In chapter four you’ll break down at cake lessons on sex.
(Do you wonder, wonder who, who-oo-o
Who wrote Book of Wrecks?)
Baby, baby, baby,
You’re looking kind of blue.
Well it says here in this Book of Wrecks
That creepy’s funny too!
(Do you wonder, wonder who, who-oo-o
Who wrote Book of Wrecks?)
I’ll tell you who (yeah)
Jen wrote the Book of Wrecks.
@Sharyn: perfect!
Head slap
I probably should not have came and looked at the cakes today. I mean my son is about to have major surgery on his skull and the last thing I want to be reminded of is how you can take something so beautiful and make such a wreck out of it. But setting that aside, at least those are just cake, I am sure the surgeons are much better co-ordinated than these guys are. I hope.
Any way, I didn't the the Mickey Cake looked all that bad. I mean when I was growing up if I had not seen the first one I would have thought the secound was the bomb. lol Perhaps that is what it is I don't know. The princess one, total flop. And the wedding cake, No excuse.
Yeah, but the Hidden Mickey dot over the "i" on the ride cake makes it all better, right?
Intestine(y) - yes. Parasitie, too.
Come on new Mel, where are you? Here, I'll help: "How can you say these cakes are anything but amaaaaazing?! They look just like my cakes and all the ladies at book club say my cakes are BETTER than those ones on television! Hmmph!" *flounce* *butthurt*
@zoomom -- Well done!
I am truly having a difficult time believing that these are all 'professional' cakes. But maybe that's the point of the blog.
It's incredulous. I'm incredulous. These are incredulous. I think I would have broken down and cried, had I been put into a situation where I had to take it, and still pay for it.
Love the comments, poems, haikus, etc., one and all!! Sweet commentary, as usual, Jen!
Wreckerators: Putting the "sin" in WYSINWYG since... Uhm... Well... For a really long time, now.
@ zoomom: Awesome!
@Terrie: Prayers, well wishes and all around good vibes heading your way for you and your son.
The Disney wreck looks like it could have been a Deadmau5 themed cake!
Also, this is in reference to Sharyn's post yesterday, but Obijohn Jenhubby is brilliant!
@JM - LMAO! New Mel certainly can't blame THESE on the customer!
Maybe I've been following this blog for too long, but I thought the Mickey cake wasn't that bad. A little lumpy, but not awful. The rest of the cakes, on the other hand....
...the princessy wreck looks like it's frosted with chewed gum pieces. :/
Hey now, are we sure these are made by professionals? It seems like these are done by stay at home mom's or at the very least non professionals trying to recreate a professional cake. What gives? I thought we were only going to attack those professionals who knew or should know better on this blog. Still that chocolate syrup would make me cry, SO HARD. I can only imagine that someone made it for the couple with so much love that the couple used it anyway, because honestly if that were to show up at my wedding I would want, no BEG someone to go find me a another cake, even from a grocery store, even if the last thing they had was a fruit tart I would still rather cut that than this.
[Editor's note- I understand. It's hard to believe. However, we go to great pains to make sure everything we post is professional. For instance, the first cake is from a company in Victoria, Australia that uses the first picture on their website as an example of their skill. The second one was apparently an "interpretation" by the professional wedding cake decorator. Gina L. says of the third cake, "I took in a picture of the first cake to a local bakery and asked if they could make it with just two layers but use the yellow for the decorations to keep all three colors in the design." What they got is what you see. And for the last cake, I have a three paragraph email describing the back and forth between the manager of the bakery and the customer. Crazy, I know but completely professional. Wreck On! -john]
When I saw WYSISWYG. I thought for a split second it was welsh!
Did someone spit their gum on that last one?
Wow... some people just should NOT touch fondant...
Thanks for the smile cake based pick me up for the day! :)
Terrie,
My prayers are with your son on his surgery. Also with the surgeons. And of course, with you.
Have a slice of chocolate cake. I find cake always helps when I'm nervous. (Or tired, or sad, or happy, or . . . huh, I think I just realized why I haven't dropped the baby weight yet.)
Back to your son: We Wrekkies are pulling for him.
OMG!!! It still shocks me that people actually charge for cakes like this. lol
My kid made a PlayDoh cake just like that Mickey Mouse one once...when she was 4.
Today's wrecks are some of the wreckiest (yes, that's a word) I've seen in awhile ... and I'm saying that even though I forced myself to read the post about uterus cakes.
I'm sure if the customers WANTED unfortunate-looking cakes they would have attempted to create them all by themselves rather than pay a professional to attempt the feat. Sheesh.
Ride with me until
I figure out these oil leaks.
Then I should be fine.
As an amateur baker, I am constantly spazzing about things not being just right.... I've thrown out entire cakes and started over for small mistakes for FREE CAKES! (told ya I was amateur!!! Gotta start somewhere right???) I can't imagine actually trying to charge anyone for those!!!! Esp. the intestine-y one! EWWWW GROSS!!!!
OK, I read the comments before posting. But I composed what follows before I read the comments, so is it really contributing to the EPCOT, or just an example of synchronicity. These and other rhetorical / philosophical questions (such as whether a concept of questionable taste that is executed competently can be considered a wreck in the traditional sense of 'poorly done'*) firmly aside, here goes, smiling all the way:
[* I know most of the cakes presented here Monday through Friday (and sometimes, Saturday, when we've been extra good) meet Jen's definition of 'wreck', which is conveniently spelled out in the right-hand column. This meets with my full recognition and agreement, and I am prepared to so state before witnesses, with my hand on my copy of Jen's First Book.]
#1b wouldn't be so bad when viewed across the room. A ballroom, say.
#2a has definite wreck potential -- you have the red fountain, for instance, which is featured in other certified wrecks -- but it's not my call.
#2b Chocolate syrup is so convenient -- just upend the bottle and squeeze! It even hides the cut!
#3b I don't think anyone needs to worry about Disney coming after them for this one.
#4b 'Intestine-y' is the word, alright. Although to be fair, if your three-year-old *wants* a cake covered in Play-Doh, your choices are pretty much confined to complying or hearing about it until she's 30. Fortunately, fondant makes an eerily-convincing substitute for Play-Doh. (Just my humble opinion, fondant fans.)
(From an undisclosed location that may or may not be somewhere in the vicinity of the Bunker)
Actually I didn't think the Disney cake was all that bad myself. OK- it wasn't terrific. But it was a semi-passable facsimile compared to the other wrecks. And yes... the others... *twitch*
And Sharyn- your posts should come with an automatic nose-cola alert. Thank heavens I've learned not to consume food or beverages while reading the blog entries and the replies. Otherwise I'd have a mess to clean up lol!
Terrie- we've never met but my best wishes to you as well!
@Terrie hope your son is doing well!
@Sharyn :D Glad you’re back and always trust in Mr. Thoj to fix these things- happens to me more than I’d care to say. BTW, the Kleenex box tally is waaaaayyyy past one.
@zoomom (swoon) that must’ve taken forever and is AWESOME.
I hope these cakes at least tasted good. I give props to the decorator for trying to get the spots and swirls very close in shape to the original. They did put effort there.
A cake made of play-doh
Wearing a crown!
Foam: the new fondant
Oh man.. I can only imagine what the bride thought when she saw her cake..and I am sure the baker ran for the hills too lol. Boy.. chocolate fixes just about everything but nothing can fix that hershey's mess..not even a ton of chocolate. Hope the bride wasn't too upset.
I want to thank everyone for the well wishes for my son. I also want to say that I enjoy reading each and everyone of your posts each day after I look at the cakes. Everyone has their distinct way of commenting on the cake wreck blogs and I get just as much of a laugh out of the comments as I do out of looking at and reading John and Jen's jokes and remarks about their blogs. I to have learned that eating breakfast or drinking a beverage is not well mixed with reading this blog. Sometimes I laugh so hard that I laugh so hard that tears come to my eyes and well I come close to having to change my close as well but then you probably didn't want to know that. lol Anyway, I looked forward to comming over here each day and enjoying this blog. I have been looking through archives as well because I have not been at this for for very long.