Monday
May142012
Hey, Sole Sister
May 14, 2012 Remember how your mom was always telling you to get your feet off the coffee table?
That goes double for your wedding cake.
;)
Thanks to Jamie A., who's just as confused as I am.
May 14, 2012 
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What's a Wreck?
A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
- Jen
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May 14, 2012 
Reader Comments (85)
At least the toes don't have fungus...
Maybe it's supposed to be a take on "six feet under"? You know, because some people compare getting married to dying? I'm grasping at straws here....
I also can't figure out why the feet are floating in water...we SO need the baker to explain what the heck they were thinking when they made this cake!
Maybe she wanted a cake that was " a couple of feet on a side"?
Hmmm… is it…
a. the feet from the statue in Lost with missing toes restored
b. an excellent example of improper burial and tombstone installation
c. a white sofa cushion that was tossed into the yard for the hound dogs but ended up getting used by Jeb as a foot prop while he works under his car
d. iced with the ointment that cured the foot fungus to proudly show how well it cured the problem
e. not going anywhere near my mouth. ever. ewww. foot cake.
They're sole mates, of course.
Ok, so I sat here staring at this stupid cake for about 5 minutes trying to come up with something witty to say. But I am thinking this is actually inexplainable. The whipped icing, the tacky feet... THE GREEN FLOTSAM CRAP!!
*whimpering*
It's like bakers don't even try anymore.
Ummm...maybe it's a....
I mean, it could be a...
Nope. I got nothing. What the heck, people?
This little piggie has eczema;
This little piggie plays in foam,
This little piggie has a toenail,
This little piggie has none,
And this little piggie cried "Why? Why? Why? Why?" all the way home.
Maybe she asked for it to be two feet tall? And the baker just misunderstood?
I think Me hit it on the head.
I don't mean me, but "Me"
This me's got nothin'.
This obviously was not made by an actually cake decorator, but an artist, because with art, it does not have to have meaning. It just has to be there to let the eye take it in and firgure out what the hell it is!
I get the feeling it could be a reference to a song lyric: "Toes in the water a-- in the sand" but if that's the case, the baker got it backwards....unless they're just disembodied feet that washed up to shore.....
The bride chased the groom for years before he'd make the commitment...this is his cake: defeated...
I'm thinking "Taking the plunge." But there is only one set of feet. Is this a groom's cake maybe?
I'm trying to figure out if that's water or just a really long pair of jeans. I can't even tell if they're male or female feet. Not that it really matters....o_O. I think this is going to bug us all until we ar directly from the customer or the baker.
Hrm, I would definitely have "cold feet" in regards to paying the baker.
'I want a plain white wedding cake, square, about two feet wide....yeah, I'll leave it up to you, you know best.....'
It boggles the mind
Feet from a fish's viewpoint?
No? I got nothin'.
I...um, well, the white frosting is very nicely done...wonder what the cake part is...
The sole problem with this cake is that it's a few feet too short.
If it was not toe-tally inappropriate, I would a few feet to every side of this cake.
These guys were trying to maybe just announce that they were not only getting married, but that they had a little Bunion in the oven.
Hmmmm Maybe they'll finish this cake if heel get around to it-
Maybe they're walking on water?
Toe Toe Toe your boat- gently down the cake????
seriously people, throw us a clue?!?!?!?!
Something about romping barefoot in the grass? But those feet look decidedly masculine. Ick. Just, ick.
LOL @ "char haas" and "me." Both of your explanations work for me.
@ "Fluffy Cow" I didn't even notice the weird green flotsam until I read your comment. I think I was distracted by the creepy feet and nausea inducing "waves" in the frosting. Now, it's even more inexplicable.
It's not water, he's wearing blue jeans.
I am unable to comprehend the reasoning behind this cake O_o
Open mouth, insert foot. Nah... I think I'll pass.
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I'm going to take a wild guess here and say it was supposed to be foot PRINTS on the beach but was HORRIBLY misunderstood
I think char haas is right. C'mon, this site wouldn't exist if it weren't for bakers taking customers WAAAAYYY too literally. So that's what happened. "I want a white sheet cake, 2 feet on a side." So you get a cake that's iced to look like it's covered by a white sheet, and there are two feet on a side. The grass is just a bonus, the baker had it left over from Easter and thought it would brighten up the scene a bit.
Unless that's just a pair of really creepy bookends, but that'd be a whole different story.
Feet in the water and toes in the sand?
There is a country dong with that line and for some reason I immediately starting singing it when I seen the cake ... And now I will be left singing it all day. Ugh!
Sole mates? But why only the 'male' appearing feet, and on the side? Serve the wedding cake with a side of sole?
Never mind - I'm clueless. I honestly have nothing that makes any sense.
It'd be great if we could get an explanation -- please, anything! I'm going to be wondering about this all day. You'd think I'd have better things to think about, wouldn't you?
maybe the bride has a foot fetish?
What the f(ern)?!
@Me: soul mates - LOL!
Maybe a joke on "Taking the Plunge"...? If so, they got the orientation of the cliff and feet a bit off.
Jules - please explain :
"Something about romping barefoot in the grass? But those feet look decidedly masculine."
Is there something gender-specific about barefoot grass-romping?
I'm confident the readers of this blog will come up with a few plausible explanations so I will check back later. Me? I've got nothin.
Interesting that it looks like it's only PART of the feet. They were chopped off around the back of the metatarsals. (I guess they decided that would be less disturbing than the usual severed ankle cake.)
Cold Feet! :-D
I vote for isabella's interpretation! Those feet are on a block of ice, hence the groom has cold feet.
(No, it doesn't explain the green stuff, but I still think isabella's is the best so far.) Others have already explained the blue stuff as blue jeans, not water, so that nixes my guess, which was some kind of cement galoshes for making someone "sleep with the fishes". (Not to mention that said cement galoshes usually go up to your ankles at least...)
I see the first tufts of new grass peeking through a snowdrift plus feet in jeans.
Nope. Nada. Unless this is celebrating some family tradition of barefoot snowdrift dancing, I just don't get it.
The mystery solved!
Hand-some cake topper's feet found!
(Now need the torsos.)
Me, I just hope the green stuff around the feet is, in fact, grass... And not... SOMETHING ELSE... O__O
OH! I've got it. It's cold feet. On a piece of ice. With....grass.
I know you say you're not out to "vilify" decorators, and in most of your entries (like this one), the cakes really are poorly executed, but some of the cakes are well done, and the decorators are merely creating what was ordered. I would say as a decorator myself, that a lot of customers can have questionable taste, but it is the decorator's job to satisfy the customer's wants and execute their vision, despite how bizarre or poor in taste it might be. I don't think it's nice of you to post well executed cakes on here because they are poor in taste. Of course you can and will continue to do whatever you want, but I think it's disrespectful to post high quality work from highly respected decorators. It's a great misnomer to call these "cake wrecks".
[Editor's note- Hi Mel. On the right hand side of the page, we have a section called "What's a Wreck" that pretty much addresses your concern. The main point would be, "A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons." Hope that helps. -john]
Assistant: "Boss? I've run out of white icing."
Wreckerator: "Don't worry, I've been keeping these little guys around for just such an occasion."
*sticks feet on side of cake*
Assistant: "What's THAT?"
Wreckerator: *condescendingly* "It's SYMBOLISM. It shows the merging of two lives, two souls. I call it Two Feet Are Better Than One."
Assistant: "That doesn't make any-"
Wreckerator: *muttering to self* "Hmmm, it needs something...to give it a little 'kick'. Ha! See what I did there? Aha! I know just the thing..." *adds tufts of grass*
Assistant: "Okay, what is THAT supposed to symbolize?"
Wreckerator: "Obviously, you have no sense of ART. I don't think you're gonna make it in this business, kid."
For the groom's cake, do something with feet, b/c the bride first noticed his feet and that's why she fell for him.
?! It's gotta be a groom's cake. GOTTA....right?
I suspect it's a groom's cake. It has the right tackiness and those feet look very male. He is taking a big step, maybe right off a cliff. Rather foamy for a cliff, but tastier than fondant.
@char hass and @Me win the coveted "I should have thought of that" award. @Andrea: LOL
There is an idiom for doing things with alacrity (phrase that means 'get moving'): 'don't let the grass grow under your feet'. Looks like someone -- I'm guessing the groom, because those feet appear somewhat masculine, though there are also women who aren't in a hurry -- took awhile to get down the aisle.
Putting them on the side avoids the 'severed ankle' effect, along with limiting the amount of anatomical knowledge / sculpting skill required of the wreckerator. The blue would appear to be an attempt at blue jeans, though it looks more like a sparkly costume. Carnie (carnival) wedding, perhaps?
If this is the wedding cake (and I doubt any guy other than John (thoJ) would be self-effacing enough to have it as a groom's cake), the groom should have equal time. What cakey tales can be told on the bride, hmmmm?
Q: Since it appears this cake was ordered this way (and the most obvious improvement means it wouldn't exist), is it a wreck?
Just needs an RIP on the white block and maybe an epitaph. Here lies Joe Blow who went toes up in the grass because he was clumsy and fell on his a**.
Mel? Is that you? Are you okay??
[Editor's note- No. Our mel is lowercase. -john]
Craig -
A. Yes, it's still a wreck. Even if last week's uterus cakes were "ordered that way," it doesn't mean they're NOT wrecks. (And besides, do you REALLY think what was ordered was the front half of flat feet with a partially-amputated pinkie toe and a skin disorder causing pitting, swelling and shininess? 'Cause that's what the things on the side of this cake look like.)
My bet is something about someone getting cold feet AND / OR not letting the grass grow under foot...