A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
April 25, 2012 [breathing]
Okay, john... you don't have to vomit. You can get through this...
[sipping Pepto]
I mean sure, you shouldn't have looked at it but it's just a cake...
[pacing]
I mean, somebody ate it...
[gagging]
[sweating]
[tearing up]
Maybe if I just look at it again, I can get it over wi...
;)
BLUARGARGARGURG!!!
Thanks to Sam H. for being such a toe-tally fungi.
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Reader Comments (203)
O.o Why, oh why didn't I heed your warnings? In what world is this appetizing? *runs to the bathroom*
That is so unnecessary this early in the morning.....ugh that is freaking nasty!!
I never saw a recessed toe
I never hoped to see one
Now burned into my retina so
Forever will I see one
That is beyond foul. whoever made or ordered that is seriously disturbed. How could someone cut into and then EAT that!?!
WHY?!? I mean, Just, WHY!?! It's a well done nasty diseased foot. But why? And who in the holy mother of Satan would eat that!?!
As gross as this is, it is well done. Can you imagine having to decorate that? I wonder how many times the baker vomited in their mouth.
That has to be the most disgusting thing! Why anyone thought that would be a good idea is BEYOND me!
oh barf!
Once upon a birthday dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious cake of forgotten woe,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my kitchen window.
`'Tis some baker,' I muttered, `tapping at my kitchen window -
Only this, and rightly so.'
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember of my appetite was laid low.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From a cake surcease of sorrow - sorrow for my deformed toe -
For the rare and lovely foot which sadly my form must forego -
Evermore fungus to grow.
And the silken sad uncertain folding of each fondant curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some baker entreating entrance at my kitchen window -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my kitchen window; -
Bearing a birthday cake to bestow,'
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Wreckorator, truly your baked goodness will overflow;
But the fact is I was crying, and so gently you came spying,
And so faintly you came trying, trying to deliver at my window,
That scarce my misshapen foot could bring me - here I opened wide the window; -
Horror there! Baked fungal toe!
Stephen Tyler fan?
What is WRONG with people?
Ohhh goodness. I wish I hadn't looked at that... Feet... *shudder*
At least the vomit spells "Happy Birthday".
This should be illegal
I *think* it also says happy birthday... ... in green slime.
all that came to mind... " how awful " lol
Oh, and puke-colored writing too. Charming.
If it were me baking and decorating that cake, I would have gone all out like that, too. Well done, baker, well done. (Yes, I do also find it disturbing...and funny.)
Yesterday, fungal toe was still so far away
Now it looks as if it’s here to stay
Oh, I wish it were yesterday.
Suddenly, I am seeing things I can’t unsee
Just how yellow can a toenail be?
My breakfast came up suddenly.
Why it had to grow, second row, I couldn’t say
I saw something wrong, now I long for yesterday
Yesterday, fungal toe was just a game we’d play
Can’t it find a place to hide away?
Oh, I wish it were yesterday.
@DB: Woot! That was epic! I can't wait for your rendition of "The Tell-tale Wart."
I've seen some gross images on here but that one really takes the toe jam. Blech!
o.O
WTH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Where is the eye bleach?!
I thought Sharon was good, but then DB blew me away!
I must have become completely immune to barfing by sight, as I marveled at the skill of the wreckerator to provide in such detail the essence of rotten toe. Good thing this post wasn't a sound byte from John.
Boggles the mind as to why this was a birthday cake, who it could be for, and when it would be appropriate, much less where. The "WHAT???!!!" was already covered...
Wow, a foot. Something I wouldn't want to put in my mouth in the first place, but with every nasty condition a podiatrist could possibly charge for short of gangrene.
All it needs is to have stepped in poop. Can we stick a few half melted twix under it?
First - why would anyone even THINK to order such a vile cake. Then why would ANY baker take such an order. FInally, howcome the camera did not break photographing such a horrible and vile cake. EEEWWWW. But I LOVED the poem!
Sharyn, very nice as usual.
DB who ARE you? Where did you come from? Very impressive poetry, Edgar Allen Toe!
HaikuJoy, the gauntlet has been thrown.
@Sharyn - You ARE hilarious! I haven't read that poem since middle school! (I prefer the purple cow!)
@DB - I think I love you. That IS my favorite poem, I had it memorized in high school but have since let my memory slip. Thanks for the fun alternative. :)
Let us not question WHY someone would want to celebrate with a cake with a hammertoe, bloody nails, a large corn and fungus but rather cling together and think of our happy place. Oh yes, and try NOT to vomit...*GLURG*
Reminds me of the time I was volunteering in youth group, and for the youth pastor's b-day I gave him a picture of my black & blue foot (I'd bruised the bone playing dodge ball), with the note "Have a toe-tally awesome b-day". He loved it!
I just threw up a little in my mouth. Thanks for that.
Also, this is the WORST birthday cake ever!
Bleh!!! That icing wording looks liked phlegm!
YUCK! And that shiny, puss-colored runny-looking icing isn't helping either!
Okay, John... Motion seconded and passed - <I>BLLLLUUURRRRGGGHHHHH</I>. *urpppp* Pardon me. Please pass the brain/eye bleach - thank you.
Without doubt, THE Worst.Cake.Idea.Ever. Don't care if that's exactly what was ordered or not (and if it was, I suppose the execution IS skillful enough), it was a very bad idea.
Oh, and props to DB - good job on the toe-try.... Or should I say Edgar Allan Poe-try?
1) Who in their right mind orders a Birthday Foot cake?
2) KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!
In what universe is this even remotely considered a good idea? o_O
Holy Foot, that is foul!
And I just want to say that DB's poem is toe-riffic!
Can someone please explain the reason behind such a cake? It will bother me until I know the story behind this.
I actually just gagged.
You might say the baker really put his or her foot in it, but I think it was toeing the line.
I hope no one follows in their steps, because this type of cake is pretty lame.
If they were looking to kick delicious-looking cakes to the curb, however, well... they really nailed their objective.
I shouldn't have looked. This is one morning I'm really, really glad I skipped breakfast!
@DB lolol XD What occasion calls for that kind of cake< and WHY?!?!?!?!?! D:
Sick and wrong.
SHUDDER ... come ON, some people are trying to eat their oatmeal!
I don't care what the reason is, or how well it's executed, but this is beyond wrong!
On a separate note, if this is modeled from real life, where the heck do you find shoes that fit? Any thought to make this memory go away :-)
That's disgusting. DB, I love the Poe-m!
I was eating a sandwich. John. Now I shall NEVER eat again...thanks a lot!
There's not enough words in the English language (and probably not in any other) to express what a creepy, horrific, stomach-turning cake that is
"That's word because you know
U can't touch this (oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh)
Break it down
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh)
Stop Hammer Toe Time"
Really, the baker shouldn't have touched this! ;-()
What an excellent cake for a podiatrist!
Have often wondered what the post party cake looked like - how much was left? Left on each plate? Or if the cake is so good anyone would overlook the gory details?
So, today, is WTF defined as "What the foot?" "What the fungi?" Am still chuckling over What the FERN!
I can't stop looking at it! and laughing. So wrong.
When this post loaded on my phone, the tiny picture did NOT look like a foot, but rather a companion post to yesterday's "balls" post. LOL. That being said, the foot cake was a relief. :P
Was this a birthday cake for a foot doctor?