BALLS
April 24, 2012 Attn parents: Sports-related double entendres ahead! Proceed with caution!
The other morning (and by "morning" I mean "afternoon") John woke up with a pain in half his tiddlywinks. (And by "tiddlywinks" I mean..."tiddlywinks.") He's fine now, so not to worry; those are all the gory details you're going to get.
Well, unless you count the fact that today's post is all about wrecked balls. Call it a subconscious thing. Or my way of getting way too much mileage out of some good-natured ribbing.
So...
Balls.
They come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. But no matter what, balls have at least one thing in common: they're generally supposed to be more round than lumpy:
Now that's just nutty.
One exception, of course, is the football, which is shaped more like a loaf of bread with harp strings:
I guess some balls are just more likely to touchdown than others.
I'm told this is either a soccer ball or a steamrolled panda:
Ain't that a kick to the head?
And don't get me STARTED on this "basketball:"
Slam dunk? More like a Slam FLUNK.
[rimshot!]
Sometimes it helps to put your balls with other related pieces of equipment. That way people will know how to handle them.
All that's missing is third base.
And of course no discussion of balls is complete without...um...hang on. Is this what I think it is?
;)
It is!
Bakers, you should be ashamed of yourselves.
That flaming basketball is totally not to scale!
(So tell me, players: Do you experience a burning sensation when you dribble?)
Thanks to Natalie B., Dolores T., Rachel J., Erica B., Heather F., & Lauren P., who will no doubt agree that if John's going to sit and play Xbox for 27 hours straight, he should probably get some looser boxers.
Reader Comments (30)
Got lumpy balls, mate?
Bring 'em to Inflates B We
for ball air repair!
"Rimshot" was too much!! LOL
Golly gee, Jen, I've always been really awful with double entendres, so I'm going to just have to take this post at face value and hope John has fully recovered from his sports injury.
From reading this blog, it's obvious John -- that avid sportsman -- has really been on the ball lately, and that you're his strongest athletic supporter. What a lucky man -- his cup runneth over.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to wash out my brain with soap. Either that, or find a way to adapt today's fact pattern to the tune from "Born Free."
Balls that size...third base should be easy!
ACK! CCC overdose! RUN AWAY!!!!!
Some Balls Are Held For Charity
And Some For Fancy Dress
But When They're Held For Pleasure
They're The Balls That I Like Best
Great. Now I'm going to be humming AD/DC all day. And it's ALL YOUR FAULT, Cakewrecks!
Can't ... stop ... snickering! Hee hee hoo hee!!
(blinkblink)... Ummmm.... Why, exactly, is the baseball CCC (patooie) wearing a strange St. Patrick's Day hat and a green beard? (blinkblink)...
Oh the puns are strong with you today jen, haiku joy, funny as usual :D
What comes to mind is the chorus from that famous song in the movie “Balls,” about a struggling student who went to that well-known baking school in NY, Johnsons and Tails, to learn his craft (with apologies to Irene Cara):
Remember my name (Balls)
I’m gonna bake ‘em forever,
I’m gonna learn to do ‘em right, (Balls)
Cupcakes and icing coming together,
People will see my work and cry, (Balls)
I’m gonna make ‘em forever,
Light up basketballs with a flame (Balls)
Bakers will remember my name,
Remember, Remember, I’ll do this until late December, (Christmas Balls)
Remember, Remember, Then I’ll focus on another member.
(And, after reading today’s post, I think I need a stiff one….)
Yesterday, @michelej aptly quoted a line from "Caddyshack," stating:
"I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball."
That quote works really well today, too.
Okay, CCCs, as we all know, are bad. But that "basketball" one is the worst of the lot!
Haiku Joy & Sharyn - excellent as always!
Jen - *warning* - there are worse dangers than too tight boxers, like DVT aka deep vein thrombosis. It can KILL! Please, please, PULEEZ make John get up & walk around every 30 minutes during these marathon gaming sessions. We nearly lost a friend to DVT because he didn't want to get up & stretch his legs on a trans-continental plane flight. Clots form in the leg veins & travel to the heart aaannndddd I think you can guess what happens next. And then CakeWrecks would be history because how could you possibly go on?! AAAAAIIIIGGGHHHH!!!
I bow to your punny prowess and double entendre delights!
When I read the title of today's post, my brain, on Geek Autopilot, thought it was going to be a Dr. Horrible post. I'm sorry. I can't help but be awesome like that. I think I'll go work with my vocal coach now.
Gosh, if they would just simply use a regular ROUND CAKE PAN instead of cupcakes, making a cake to look like a round ball would be so EASY! Why the CCC's? Why??
Okay, today I will spare you the song I've got in my head. It's a song featuring Eminem from the Longest Yard (Adam Sandler version).
However, I don't think these "cakes" are about balls at all:
1. Migrating reindeer in a blizzard
2. The office picnic games: Tug O' War
3. Fact or Fiction: coal becomes diamonds
4. A tiger chasing his tail. You can tell it's a tiger by the stripes.
5. Pangea
6. A rare first draft of Darth Vader's Mask. Not quite the scary they were looking for...
See, Jen, you've got no balls.
I can't get over the fact that you called them "tiddlywinks" .... not very flattering...
'Steamrolled Pandas'?? That's so EVIL!! Does anyone know that they are almost EXTINCT!!!! Not the right animal to kid about!!(Although... it is extremely funny ; ))
The first baseball is kinda cute.
Hahaha! I love it!
I asked for the same cupcake cake for my son's birthday this year. I had to go back and look at his to see if it was a mishappen mess or not. I guess my grocery store bakery knows what they are doing, well most of the time, because it turned out A-OK!
Why is the basketball CCC (patooie!) urinating and sweating from the same source?
I am still giggling like mad over the poor steamrolled panda. What did it do to deserve that? Other than be a CCC.. eek. Ah well I guess we can never get enough balls lol.
See, this is why so many of us play video games naked.
More evidence that Cupcake Cakes need to be outlawed... Or don't bakers realise that all of these sports designs would be so much easier... With a simple round cake pan?
Since cupcakes are round, and basketballs and baseballs are round, why not just decorate each cupcake like the sports ball instead of try to arrange the cupcakes into a round shape?
@Becky....Whack! What are you thinking?!
@Postmenopaws TMI. WAY TMI.
My mind was in the gutter because of the tital but then don't mind me. lol
Poor John. Nothing is sacred with her, is it? :D
My favorite part of the comments (other than mel and Andrea- who both ROCKED) is those who are trying to make sense out of how these monstrosities happen. I have the feeling that if you handed a round pan to some of the wreckerators and said, "look, this is the shape you want" they would stare at you blankly. Either they don't care or the lights are on but no one's home and I really prefer the latter explanation.
Oh dear!! I hope John is feeling much better.. The basketball court is rather ahem.. interesting as well.
Lol.. Ok, as a cake decorator, I have to say... If people would stop ordering sports themed ccc's then they'd go out of style. I can tell you now tho.. These ccc were done by inexperienced decorators. And were short on cupcakes. They're all mention to be 24 cc's. And not only are they stupid, they're a pain in the tail to make.