Cake Wrecks Finally Gives You The Bird
November 21, 2012 Thanksgiving is nearly upon us, so here's a handy reference guide to the various birds you may be asked to eat tomorrow.
This is a chicken.
;)
These are small creatures who live under your bed and stare at you while you sleep.
"Hello."
[whispering] "I will eat your soul."
Coffee, anyone?
Moving on...
;)
This is a duck.
;)
This is Duck-Zilla.
Duck-Zilla doesn't like you.
This is a guinea fowl.
;)
This guinea pig(?) is foul.
(Note from Jen: Sharyn, I'm surprised at you. Don't you know a Majestic Coiled Crap Hound when you see one??)
(Note from Sharyn: Oops, you're right, I totally missed it. Guess I have to brush up on my poology.)
(Note from john: [pushing up glasses] I believe it's spelled "poo-ology. After all, it's an ANAL-ytical science.)
(Note from Jen [& Sharyn]: Shut up, Wesley.)
And finally:
This is a turkey.
;)
This is disturbing.
;)
This is a pilgrim snake riding a magic carpet.
And this:
;)
...is why we're grilling steaks this year.
Thanks to Cassandra T., Maryrose M., Stephen P., Maria S., Jenn E., and Sarah C. for putting the foul in fowl.
Reader Comments (93)
The last one looked like a decapitated Star Wars character....
Can't comment, laughing too hard.
SHUT UP WESLEY in an air-tight box.
I kept going, "Awwww it's so cute!" looking at the pictures of the birds. Then the lead dropped in my stomach when I saw the cakes that followed them. That worm/worm-necked turkey has issues.
Oh, look! It's Earthworm Jim in a Broadway show.
Snakes seek freedom, too.
Magic ride 'cross Atlantic.
It's a whole new world!
The second to last picture looks like the worm from the Richard Scarry books!
I LOVE the pilgrim snake riding a magic carpet. Everyone needs one!
The icing on that last cake is Elite! As in, only an elite few will ever decide that that is a turkey and in need of icing. Or maybe it should be on fire. I'm not sure.
But the icing, it's Elite. It must be delicious and perfect. I can only imagine what the ordinary icing looks like.
Every time you post one of these actually IN A BOX, WITH A PRICETAG, my head considers exploding.
the question is now begged "what is elite icing?"
Ahem. I believe that should be spelled "poo-lgrim snake".
The pilgrim snake looks like the cousin of Lowly Worm from The Busy World of Richard Scarry.
You really don't wanna eat a guinea fowl. I suppose if it's got parts you can eat it, but they aren't good for anything except an alarm. They have a fit when foxes and coyotes come around, consequently keeping the chickens safer.
I just asked my 18-month-old daughter what each picture was. She correctly identified the chicken, duck, and turkey photos. The cakes? "Owl. Mole. Doo doo."
Sounds about right.
"Shut up, Wesley" Ahhh, thank you for that :) Also... is that last thing supposed to be a TURKEY?? Looks more like a horned helmet from the losing side of a battle.
John must be having so much fun as the lone male in the party with Jen and Jen and Sharyn....
Cake harem anyone?
Awesome! I can't stop laughing and I needed that today. Thanks for sharing the joy.
My favorite is the pilgrim snake and his magic carpet. Does the magic carpet remind anyone else of an afghan from the 1970s? Pretty sure we had one that looked a lot like it when I was growing up.
I gotta say, I find the pilgrim snake on a magic carpet to be kinda cute. I don't even like snakes.
I just can't stop staring at that evil smiley face cupcake in the "duck" CCC pic. is that supposed to be sun? He looks like he is plotting evil.
My 11 year old son was looking at the picture of the Majestic Crap Hound (to see why I was laughing) and said "oh, its a breadbug" from a video game called Pikpin. I googled it, and nope- it's still just a wreck. Thankfully he was far enough from the screen that he couldn't read the caption. I think I'll keep him innocent a while longer.
The cupcakes that are meant to be chickens kind of remind me of muppet creatures.
Also, I lol'd
Every comment today is making me laugh. Y'all are hilarious.
Through a bit of Google research, I discovered that:
1) Elite icing is a kind of cool whip-consistency icing, rather than being a brand (like Kleenex). Unsurprisingly, I'm not convinced that the last cake's icing isn't terrifyingly stiff.
2) The Wikipedia page on icing is sadly lacking vital information for my search (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icing_%28food%29). Granted, if we used Cake Wrecks cakes as examples, I think that would cause more confusion than assistance for readers. :)
Lol @Sue. Cake harem. I can just picture it. John strutting around in Hammer pants and a fez hat looking over his flock and saying "All your wimminz and cakes are belongs to me."
"'Elite icing'? Maybe you'll eat it, but I won't."
To me, the creepy bird things are extra-creepy because their beaks appear to open horizontally and too many times. Or maybe they're, I dunno, some kind of palps or gills or soul filters, like baleen. As for their living under the bed, I recommend Dan Glasser's anti-lullabye "Close Your Eyes".
I am so not going to be able to sleep tonight, knowing that soul-eating, staring small creatures will be under my bed.
And I like my steak medium rare :-)
My 2-yr-old id'd the snake right off the bat. A bat being what I'd like to take to some of those cakes, btw. Plus, now I'm afraid to look under my bed, in case I find clown pets. So, um, thanks for that.
Elite Icing is always a tipoff, sort of like an Explosives sign on the side of a tanker truck.
"Sadly, Earthworm Jim's show on Broadway closed early because Jim could not perform jazz hands..."
In all honesty, the "snake" looks like a stretched out Vermicious Knid to me. "Scram! Everybody run!"
CCCs are cake harems ... you don't want to, do you?
The turkey has a bad case of HERPES!!!!
Is the "Shut up, Wesley" quote referencing the episode of Family Guy that guest-starred the cast from Star Trek: The Next Generation?
If so, then Jen [& Sharyn] should be rewarded with their own replicator and/or holodeck!
It is time once again to put aside the humor for a moment and say how thankful I am for Cake Wrecks, and its creators Jen and john (thoj). While I’ve mentioned my reason in an earlier post (and hope to someday finish the article “How Frosting and Flat Track Saved My Life”) my thanks is sustainable and renewable everyday. This site (along with the two portable versions “Cake Wrecks” and “Wreck the Halls”) is, hands down, the number one source for intelligent, well-written, clever, hilarious, laugh-out-loud humor. And, it is totally interactive – Jen and john (thoj) let us Wreckies post our reactions, thoughts, and creations – does life get any better than that? Thank you, thank you, thank you for the cornucopia of cleverness and humor you set forth for us daily!
So Happy Thanksgiving* to Jen and john (thoj) and the CW Team, and to my fellow commenters, with extra pie for funny long-time regulars Sharyn (now part of the Team…humming…”she’s looked at cakes from both sides now….”), SuBee, zoomom, Haiku Joy…and with a double dollop of whipped cream for Barbara Anne, the commenter and Head Cheerleader, who supports, encourages, and sometimes gently “tsk tsk’s,” us, (all with parenthetical gestures and sound effects). And a special thanks to those who often give feedback – it’s always nice to know you laughed…or groaned…or spit up on your keyboard.
*If it is not Thanksgiving for you, Happy Thursday.
And now, in keeping with today's theme, a turkey…a leftover from last year, slightly re-heated:
It was the day before Thanksgiving, time for the annual Thanksgiving Turkey Trot in Wattle, Illinois, where local farmers brought their biggest birds to race through the town square. The race was quick and fierce, as the loosing birds were served the next day at the town’s Thanksgiving Feast. As usual, the larger the bird, the better the chance, and big-bird breeding was, well, big business. Thomas “Tom Turkey” Jackson was the perennial favorite – he always had the largest bird. This year was no exception, and as the fowl lined up, Tom’s bird dwarfed the others. They took off in a mad rush of feathers, and it looked like Tom’s bird was going to win again. But suddenly he veered off the course and ran over a spectator, knocking the poor fellow to the ground, rendering him unconscious from the over-onslaught of turkey. The turkey was disqualified: tripped a fan….
Look at this turkey cake made by me.
http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a212/Isolder74/TurkeyActivistFront.jpg
Now explain to me how making a cake to look like a turkey is so hard. I can't say it's a lack of imagination as it seems that the problem is too much imagination.
All of today's cakes are too the pain. And as for the last one, dear God what is that thing....
I daily look forward to the brilliant commentators. I need you all so much in my life. Mel's tribute really said it.
BTW, I do think the sprawled brown thing must be an armadillo or an anteater. No cute little guinea pig can be so insulted.
OMG bwahahahaha can't...stop...laughing XD XD and Haiku Joy was the icing on the cake :D
The chicken cupcakes remind me of the Ood when they go psycho.
@Janna - Just when I thought it was safe to drink coffee at the computer you prove me wrong with that afghan reference. That's all I can think of now. I swear, my mom still has that afghan!
@KellyH - the vision of John in hammer pants is going to haunt me more than the frosted monsters under the bed. (No offence John, I'm sure you'd look super-hot in hammer pants.)
@mel - I just love you.
I'll tell you what's disturbing about that first "turkey" cake. It says it's a single layer cake, which means there is a frightening amount of frosting on it. Not to mention the white frosting p***s stuck on the front.
Guinea Pig my aunt Fanny. Don't you know a poomodillo when you see one?
bwahahah!!! I read your posts every day. Just can't wait to see. Your humor cracks me up every time. Just wanted to say thanks for bringing laughter into my and so many others' lives. You're good people. :) Happy Thanksgiving.
This was a great post, followed up with hilarious (and thoughtful...Mel...) comments. Thanks for it all.
"...is why we're grilling steaks this year." Thanks Jen and Sharyn! The family is going out for Thanksgiving for the first time in years! Since I won't be privvy to what's happening in the kitchen, I now have the perfect excuse to order steak tomorrow instead of the traditional dinner!
Happy Thanksgiving and many thanks for all the laughter you bring!
Um...those things LIVE UNDER MY BED??? HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I think I am more disturbed by the evil grinning sun cupcake than the Duck-zilla it is observing.
I think the guinea pig (?) is actually an armadillo. A Poo armadillo....but an armadillo nonetheless. I was so hoping that one of the talented song writers would come up with a rendition of "Magic Carpet Ride"....
Between the poomadillo and johns hammer pants I can now die and go to heaven and happily haunt all these wreckors.
PS does the first turkey look like a bad sex costume for a man's little turkey... Just sayin.