Cake Wrecks Finally Gives You The Bird
November 21, 2012 Thanksgiving is nearly upon us, so here's a handy reference guide to the various birds you may be asked to eat tomorrow.
This is a chicken.
;)
These are small creatures who live under your bed and stare at you while you sleep.
"Hello."
[whispering] "I will eat your soul."
Coffee, anyone?
Moving on...
;)
This is a duck.
;)
This is Duck-Zilla.
Duck-Zilla doesn't like you.
This is a guinea fowl.
;)
This guinea pig(?) is foul.
(Note from Jen: Sharyn, I'm surprised at you. Don't you know a Majestic Coiled Crap Hound when you see one??)
(Note from Sharyn: Oops, you're right, I totally missed it. Guess I have to brush up on my poology.)
(Note from john: [pushing up glasses] I believe it's spelled "poo-ology. After all, it's an ANAL-ytical science.)
(Note from Jen [& Sharyn]: Shut up, Wesley.)
And finally:
This is a turkey.
;)
This is disturbing.
;)
This is a pilgrim snake riding a magic carpet.
And this:
;)
...is why we're grilling steaks this year.
Thanks to Cassandra T., Maryrose M., Stephen P., Maria S., Jenn E., and Sarah C. for putting the foul in fowl.
Reader Comments (93)
1) Scary chicken cupcakes: Can anyone tell me what those beaks are made of?
2) first turkey cake: I would never have imagined one could find something phallic in a turkey.
3) Turkey snake: Yes, it's an afghan. My grandmother used to crochet them.
4) Last turkey: "elite" icing???? It looks like seared meringue twisted into phallic shapes. So weird.
Please allow me to chime in my thanks for Jen, John, Sharyn, zoo mom, SueBee, Haiku Joy and everyone else who contributes to my daily laughter. We are privileged that you share your wit and intelligence with us.
And mel? Brilliant!
@mel: well said. I may have gotten a bit of dust in my eye, excuse me. *sniff*
Ahem.
I would also like to thank Jen and John(thoJ), the CW Team, and all the commenters. You make a place that is designed mostly for fun. A place where we can come and forget the rest of the world for a minute and just laugh; free to be our nerdy, geeky, poetic selves. Sometimes we are witty and clever and sometimes we fall flat, but we are unafraid to put ourselves out there because, well it's the interwebs and slightly anonymous, but mostly because of the general atmosphere of comraderie developed by CW and its adoring followers. AND! Most of you get my references!
So, have a great day tomorrow, y'all. May the dessert you have eaten not rise up to meet you again-or be made of poo (it is an old Irish saying).
Those of you getting together with relatives that annoy, ask inappropriate personal questions or otherwise irritate, just imagine them being sucked into the Black Hole of Poo and Shiny Objects from yesterday's Cornucrapia post.
Also: I may just have nightmares of small, vaguely clown-like creatures who have been stabbed in the face with pointy wafer cookies but will. Not. DIE!
@Janna--my mom MADE those afghans!
Every single one of these made me laugh out loud and spit out my sandwich at the screen. (NOT a turkey sandwich.) And every photo & caption, and every comment from the faithful CW bunch made me thankful.
Is it silly to say "I love you guys!!"
I give thanks for you.
@ Sarah, My thoughts exactly. Well almost, I did immediately think "Lowly Worm!" I just missed the fact that it was his cousin. I just figured the wreckerator didn't have a clue as to what Lowly typically wears.
I love this site! Thanks again to you all for the fun times!
The "guinea pig" actually looks more like a splatted armadillo.
I *think* that guinea pig might actually be a duck-billed platypus... as roadkill.
I am ever-so thankful that none of these cakes are going to appear on my table tomorrow--or any time. Especially that last thing, which I mis-read as having White Elephant Icing. Tie to get the eyes checked.
If that's the "elite" icing on that last Humperdink, I'd hate to see the "normal" icing...
I love the Snake on a Flying Carpet/70's afghan.
The guinea pig is surely an armadillo, although when I see them they usually have tire marks across their sad little carcasses.
I thought the guinea pig looked like alligator roadkill. But thank you for this site!
@Janna--we totally had those afghans!
"I'll tell you what's disturbing about that first "turkey" cake. It says it's a single layer cake, which means there is a frightening amount of frosting on it. Not to mention the white frosting p***s stuck on the front."
AND not to mention that said p***s is dripping. O.O
Oh my. Delightfully horrific. You, my friends, are amazing!
Elite Icing?
I do not think that means what you think it means.
I thought your post was leading up to a turducken cake, but no, just turds as usual.
I agree with other posters who think the brown flattened thing is an armadillo. I lived in Texas for 22 years and it looks a lot better than most of the armadillos I ever saw. About the only time you see a living, unsquished armadillo is for about half a second before your front tires roll over them. And if you were wondering, yes, they do make a crunching sound.
@TLC ~ I think the beak is pieces of those sugar wafer cookies. I have no idea how they actually cut them to that shape tho since I can't even seem to get them out of the package in one piece!
@mel ~ Thanks for such a great post. You are right up there in the talent pool with Jen, John (ThoJ), Sharyn and the whole CW team!
I'll just add my thanks to everyone else's and tell you guys that I appreciate pretty much all of you. The CW team and the commenters make me laugh. Hey, I even shared this site with my boss yesterday!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! (And Happy Thursday to those not in the US!)
Thanks to Mel and Andrea for stating so eloquently the appreciation we all have for this little haven of humor.
Happy Thanksgiving to all.
May I recommend the pie for dessert?
@Janna - my mom made me that afghan in blue and green in the 70s! It covered my bed in college and my first apartment, and now it's in a quilt bag next to the quilt she made me.
A Buffy reference!! Or, Angel. Doesn't matter, either way I'm thrilled!
I think the last cake is from the hunger games.
Is this a sign that I have been looking at too many Cake Wrecks? I just went to type a "Congratulations" message to a friend. I'm a good speller, yet it took me 3 tries to get congratulations right. Yes, this is a word that I have been able to spell correctly in the past without multiple attempts.
O_o Thank you for the...interesting cryptozoology lesson, Jen. What has been seen cannot be unseen. Maybe after a few bottles of Everclear, I might forgive you for that. ;)
You guys don't know anything! That thing you are calling a guinea pig is CLEARLY an armadillo. A Thanksgiving one, probably.
The entire post made me laugh, but the comments made me laugh harder! I've shared CW with so many friends and family members, but few of them understand why I laugh hysterically nearly every time I read it.
TLC those beaks look like wafer cookies.
as a kid in the 70s i had a poncho that was brown / red / yellow combo , just like the turkey cake .
actually i thought the little chickens were kinda cute though
If the last one is covered in elite icing hate to see sub-standard
Workout by Theardare
"Copacabana" blares while a buxom woman- rude, but not ginger- dressed in a Spandex ninja suit and high heels leads the class.
Alright, Head Tilts NOW! To the left and 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
To the right and really push, 5, 6, 7, 8
aaaaand Shoulder Shrugs on the left, 2, 3, really dig deep, 7, 8
to the right, 2, 3, what is that THING, 8
and both together, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Now Face Palms, 2, 3, really plant your face, 7, 8
And Kermit flails 2, 3, 4, 5, put your back into it!
Now, Repeat, you silly k-niggets!!
zzzzzzzz *snort-cough
And then I woke up, thank goodness!!
GROUP HUG!! Peace, love and much happiness to you, yours and all of us.*
*Everyone on the freakin' planet, sunshine, we even love the wreckerators (without whom we'd have no happy place to come visit 6 days a week)!
psst- extra hug to mel and ty for the kindness, as always.
The last one looks like the Rocketeer's hat. With Stove-Top stuffing glued to the side.
Your guinea pig is an armadillo. See "Steel Magnolias" and you'll understand. :)
Oh man I cannot stop laughing at the comments and those evil cakes passing themselves off as edible in any way. If I see those clown chickens under my bed much killing with fire will ensue.. plus the fire department will be angry with me as well as the neighbors. Ah fun times to be had.
I think that the "chicken" cupcakes are kind of cute. And the Pilgrim snake does look like Lowly Worm. The background reminded me of an afghan, and those are definitely 70s colors although the avocado green is missing. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
I think the "guinea pig" is actually an anteater/armadillo. That schnozz just doesn't look like a beak to me, and g.p.'s are flat-faced.
@mel I would totally buy that book! I hobby decorate and my daughter rolls with a junior team and I cant miss a senior game (fan)
Just like so many other commenters here, I need to know... WTF is "Elite Icing"?!?
Wait, but it has ELITE frosting! This isn't just your run of the mill crap! It's ELITE!!!
@Ela: you've got the good life -- decorating and derby! Verbally playing around here on Cake Wrecks is the extent of my involvement with cakes. When it comes to derby, I am a fan, sponsor and NSO. Best of luck to your rollin' daughter, and may your team always win!
@TLC, jackwire,Norine and Lizzie! -- thank you,
@Andrea -- nicely done...we do it all for fun and laughter....(and I loved your old Irish saying...)
@Jodee in WA -- you are too kind, but the truth is those folks do it day after day, while I can do it at my leisure...I am but a journeyman....
@zoomom -- you made me blush (in a platonic way)...you're fun to have on the playground...thanks....
@Barbara Anne -- thanks, and thanks for all you do for all of us....(smiles).....
When I showed my husband, he identified the MCCH as the "Dish of the Day" from the television series of HHGTTG. The question is, although it's been bred to want to be eaten, have we yet bred humans that would want to eat it?
I can tell you what Elite Icing is. It's a type of whipped frosting similar in flavor to Cool-Whip but slightly thicker and stiffer, and without the need to be refrigerated.
How do I know? Because I am a cake decorator for the grocery store chain that uses those particular stickers. LOL
But since I've been decorating for 20+ years, my turkey cake looks WAY better than that thing. If I'd known there was going to be one of those on here, I'd have taken a picture of what it was supposed to look like and sent it to you. I made 5 of 'em on Thanksgiving alone.
Isolder, you slay me!
Ha! I love finding references in here, like shut up, Wesley! So awesome in DataLore...
@ Norine, Bev, et.al.
As for cake #7, Wiki "Naked Mole Rat".
@ Alexa
Poo. Ordinary, non-elite icing looks like poo.
My 7yo son saw the last 'turkey' and said to me, "oh! Is that a sea turtle being born?"