Brought to You By Seymour Butz
July 13, 2011 Remember when I used to rail against the cannibalistic indignity that is the baby butt cake?
....
Let's do that again!
Hm. Given those "legs" and the hastily edited "Baby," you have to wonder what the baker thought s/he was making.After all, bakers don't always have the firmest grasp on the whole "edible butt" concept.
For example, "broken legs shoved under a table" isn't quite what we're going for here:
Ow.
Also watch out for TLS - teeny leg syndrome.And while you're at it, parents, maybe wait 'til your baby is a little older before dousing her lower half with self-tanner:
I mean, c'mon, the cheeky little devil is barely half-grown!'Course, sometimes a butt cake is more than just a butt cake.:
Sometimes it's a Toddler Torso cake.Or, if you're lucky, sometimes it's a snaggle-toothed-monster-popping-through-a-sheet-cake-and-about-to-eat-a-rose cake:
Don't even try to tell me you don't see it.And finally, for those of you who, like me, think the idea of ingesting a cake shaped like the poop-factory end of an infant is kind of disturbing, just remember:
...it sure beats getting a head.Thanks to Maria S., Deidre P., Aubrey A., Anony M., Renee W., Roman S., & Debra for cracking us up today.
Reader Comments (93)
Number 5 is particularly gruesome...
I just...no. That's all I can think to say. That last cake is just terrifying.
I feel sorry for any baby who ends up with legs like those of the baby on cake #2. They look disturbingly like my sister's, and she has severe cerebral palsy and can't walk. Seriously.
My word verification is way too easy this time. It's "perfort" if you can believe it. Insert your own joke here.
Shudder...that last one is really scary!
Makes the diaper&legs cakes look positively appetizing!
OH. MY. 0_o The monster. I see it. CRAWLING WITH ITS FORKY LITTLE ARMS...OOOHHHH
But it has an Eeyore diaper on! Awww....
(and, yet, still....Ewww....)
The tatty fake roses and what I think is Eeyor on the butt of the "baby" are what make that final cake for me... O_o
WV - Lammet: Let us sing a lammet for all those poor, cannibalized cake babies.
The second to last one looks like a lady bug with some extra stuff just laying around the perimeter.
The last one looks like it needs an apple stuffed in its mouth and time in the oven at 350. Mmmmm, roast baby. *shudder*
The complete tyke cake
needed more cowbell, pronto.
Hence, Eeyore Diaper.
nom nom nom, baby! It's my favorite flavor.
wait, the body on that "self-tanner" one was made from a heart-shaped pan. if they were going for the heart-shaped butt, they turned it the wrong direction. I'm so confused! ????
Wonders whether to
sledgehammer cakemonster, or
wear like pet headcrab.
Lady bug snaggle-toothed monsters, oh my!
You had me in hysterics! Thank you!
I always enjoy it when Hannibal Lecter gives a baking master class.
There's something about the Whole Roast Baby cake (@bassgirl at 9:39, I thought the same thing about the apple...) that makes me want to yell "Dibs on the spleen!"
This is over the top and terrifying. I think you should pull the post - you have young readers. The little fondant blankets make the cakes look like cannibal surprise. I can only shutter to think what is hidden under the blanket.
I just burst out laughing at the snaggle toothed lady-butt cake!! That made my morning!
wv:gapairo- you can fill any gapairos in your cake by using extra baby torsos.
I've identified
the babe immortalized in
final cake: Lenin.
It's only tangentially related, but this reminds me of the court battle that went on in Dallas maybe 10 or 20 years ago between two rival "Butt Sketch" artists who were both working the sidewalks of the West End (a touristy neighborhood of downtown Dallas). For a fee, they would make a drawing of your derriere, I guess as a souvenir of Big D. One Butt Sketcher said the other guy had stolen his business idea. Apparently, the city wasn't big enough for two buttock portraitists. If I remember right, though, the guy who claimed it was his intellectual property being heisted lost. The judge wasn't convinced that his idea was original enough for him to claim ownership.
Until "Cake Wrecks," I didn't know what happened to the Butt Sketch artists, but it appears they went into cake decorating.
I can't decide if the last cake makes me think more of "roast baby" or of "satanic ritual".
Both possibilities make me shudder, though.
Oooh! Dat ass!
Or maybe it should be Ewwwww! Dat ass!
Sorry. I just couldn't help myself. :/
Some of those diapers look pretty full, too. Bonus.
WV: reminsin. I just love reminsin about all the baby bum cakes of the past.
Thanks to all you other wreckers for pointing out the Eeyore diaper on that last one. I would have missed the cuteness! I was so focused on the turkey leg arms with the little turkey frills on the hands. I was sad...until I went back and saw EEYORE!!
Wait...no, I'm still a little sad for the baby eating people.
the ladybug monster. oh. my.
@Haiku Joy -- the "wear like pet headcrab" line had me laughing almost as much as the creature itself. Thanks!
Ewww is an understatement DX
Cake #1: Words fail me.
Cake #2: Dorothy's early attempts at destroying wicked witches. I expect the legs to curl and disappear beneath the table at any moment.
Cake #3: I feel for the mother that delivered THAT one!
Cake #4: Awww...Snooki as a baby.... O.o
Cake #5: What is that odd out-of-place orange blob of icing? A tiny carrot? Attack of the 40-ft panted carrot jockey?
Cake #6: *Snort* Snaggle-tooth monster! With 9 eyes! Yup, don't see anything butt that!
Cake #7: LOL Haiku Joy about the Lenin cake... Also since bassgirl mentioned the apple and baking it at 350...that reminded me of the meatloaf baby...*shudder*
wv: haeaviv: Yes, we all want to haeaviv after seeing these cakes!
"broken legs shoved under a table"
Still LOLing!
You'd think I'd be used to these by now, but that last baby cake - oh, my...
I think I'm going to throw up...
The ladybug cake...isn't putting "It's A Girl" on it, well, redundant?
wv-mezed: outta wack, as in Man, are those cakes mezed up!
HA HA HA HA HA!!
I'm gonna be singing "Baby got back" all day now!
And MAJOR points to Haiku Joy for mentioning cowbell!!
On the next to last picture, I see a ladybug engulfing a child with the legs sticking out of the mouth.
The Toddler Torso is definitely the Baby of Frankenstein!
Does anyone else see a greenish tinge to it?
"snaggle-toothed-monster-popping-through-a-sheet-cake-and-about-to-eat-a-rose cake"
Oh, I see it. Actually, now I can't not see it. Is it just me or does it look like something about of a Miyazaki movie?
Sure it's a whole baby cake, but the blue and taupe roses make it ligit somehow.
Seriously?! Eww...just ewww......
Here's what's wrong with people today-- if your baby falls headfirst into a cake, don't be so busy taking pictures to fish him out. Also, don't start making cakes to depict the event. That kind of crap spreads like wildfire.
The dead pale feet on no. 5 give it a bisected toddler zombie vibe. It makes me shudder and then feel sad because "Walking Dead, season 2" won't be on until the fall.
Does that make me a bad person?
Okay, thanks. Now I can't get the image of that last baby out of my head. Gross!
These cakes are so wrong... And yet, I feel like getting one for my s-i-l who's expecting soon... After all, she stole my shower from me (insisted on "throwing" me a shower that I had to shell out almost $2K for, refused to use my baby foot prints cup cake papercups that I'd purchased in my 2nd tri, didn't play any of the games I wanted, etc), so I should get even with one of these! bwah ha ha ha ha!
Haha, not only is that an Eeyore diaper, but it looks like it's about to pop off of the baby butt cake! And I just saw the "turkey leg arms" and LMAO, thank you very much!
I see the little socks on the last cake, and all I can think of is the little paper toppers on a rack of lamb. Eeyore isn't cute enough to undo that...
WV: runrea - I would runrea fast before anyone could serve me any of these.
Oh man. Now I'm going to need therapy after the broken legs cake...and the poorly made spray tanned baby legs? oh please.
All those poor, poor babies! Shoved into cake like that! Those bakers should be ashamed.
Jen, you had me at "self tanner"! LOL!!
Bonus: Two Haiku Joy posts today!
Ew - gross!
My 8 yr old son said he sure hopes the insides of these cakes don't look like the insides of a baby! These are just....ewwww.
The saddest part of all these cakes is that you know they had to take many hours to make. Such a terrible, disturbing waste of time!!
Your snaggle-tooth monster looks to me like the back end of a giant lady bug pooping a flower after landing on top of a the wreckorator.
I find the last cake disturbing, but not for the same reason as the others here: I work in public health, and am so familiar with the "back to sleep" campaigns (and the research behind them) that the idea of a very young infant sleeping on its stomach (or with a lot of blankets, toys, etc in a crib) is scary for a whole different reason than mere aesthetics or taste.
But as for the cakes and humour...
Toddler torso would have been cute if they'd put a curtain or a table or something to explain that no child got severed in the making of the cake. Just the eating ;)
The lady bug cake would have been charming if they hadn't ruined it with putting on legs on the bug (turning it into a diaper).
And that Eeyore diaper is awfully skimpy to be able to do much.
I swear the first one is for a baby monkey. The legs are even hairy looking.
LOL @ six toes on the Toddler Torso cake. XD