john (the hubby of Jen) In The Flesh
July 14, 2011 My friends, today is National Nude Day, which is why I... [ripping off Velcro pants]...will be writing this post entirely butt nekkid. Aw yeeeah. In fact, I suggest you join me! Just be considerate of your family and cubicle mates, and be sure to walk around and extend a personal invitation to each of them, too.
Now, you may be asking yourself, how will I know that john (the hubby of Jen) is actually naked? Well, here's a picture as proof:
I like to oil up when I write about cake.Now, let's do this thing!
Here we have a ...
I'm sorry. Excuse me...this chair is really...erph!...scratchy.
So. Here's a turtle:
Oh! Hang on a sec; my neighbor is watering her lawn.
[opening door]
Hi, Mildred! Did you know it's National Nude Day?
Mildred? Don't run so fast, dear, remember your hip surgery!!
She's such a sweetie.
Now, check out this hot little chick:
That is some serious duck face.
(Question: is it ok to scratch below the belt with a back scratcher? Asking for a friend.)
And now, a taco:
Or possibly a hot dog.
Never thought I'd get those two mixed up, to be honest.
(Another question: are wood back scratchers dishwasher-safe?)
Huh. That's odd. Ever get the feeling somebody's watching you?
Must be the cold draft in here.
[crossing legs]
And finally, because this post has been the picture of modesty and decorum so far, let's end with something really inappropriate:
Hey, Carol G., Marianne F., Susan M., Sarah A., & Alexandra, for the last time: I'm up here.
Reader Comments (104)
That hot dog/taco cake looks just like a picture i drew for art class back in elementary school. except my picture was supposed to be a campfire.
i'm not the artsy type...
LMAO This is the best post ever!
I agree with yellowpickup - best post ever! Still laughing!!!
Nice six pack Jon(the hubby of Jen).
And each time I look at the ducky cake I think of Carol Channing. Not sure why - maybe that huge mouth?
Bow-chicka-wow-wow....LOL.
You know, hubby of Jen, that Big Bird cake looks really angry to me.
But I'll bet Jen is happy.
Hey John (THOJ)
Maybe you should tell your "friend" to stick with the metal back scratchers. And buy him some smooth slipcovers. Just sayin'...
Now fasten up those pants and help Mildred off the lawn.
Even haiku fails.
My words are as broken as
Mildred's mighty hip.
wv: nournif
It wouldn't surprise me if nournif gets the poetic allusion. English teacher's blight.
SWEET! Today I have an excuse to run down the hallways of this office nekkid...because, yanno, every other time I do it they call the authorities. "YOU CAN'T CALL TODAY FUN HATERS!!!"
Becky
wv: ciest - They "claim" they don't want to ciest me naked, I think they are just jealous.
The duck looks like my neighbor, Gladys.
I just love to celebrate all of the holidays. Time to get nekkid.
Jackie
Congrats to Jen ;)
You know, my personal hubby and I always say that "nude" is the state of having no clothes on. "Nekkid" is having no clothes on with intentions. Do you have intentions, John?
Sorry...I was laughing so hard I forgot to look at the cakes....Way to go, Jon (hubby of Jen)!
wv-heritche: These bakers all come from a rich heritche of decorators.
Bring me Big Bird's head on a platter!
Bwhahahahaha!
Oh Wow! Can't pass up the WV today...pherst!!!
I'm going to take this holiday to heart.
FABOO post! can't stop giggling. kudos.
LOVE LOVE LOVE today's post! My only problem is I work with people who need to put more clothes on...not take them off....*sigh*
That last cake is the best cake ever. I want that cake. That is not a wreck; it is gold.
"I'm up here." SNORT!
Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!! ROTFL!!!!
Lololol@ the last cake. The other cakes=wtf??
Methinks you had a little too much fun with this one, John... :P
Tell me you meant all those double entendres and that I don't just have a disgusting gutter mind.
I'm thinking Big Bird there is ready to go ninja.
Oh the mental images..... ROFLMAO!!!! John, hubby of Jen... great post today!! Jen - you lucky girl you to check out that 6 pack!! ;-) LOL!!
WV:
ghsonc: The sound of my jaw hitting the desk after reading some of the "odder" CW posts
Maybe it's a hot dog IN a taco... Um... Ahem... (blinkblink)... That sounded way less dirty in my head... O_O
This might be the best post ever Jon(the hubby of Jen). Thanks for a fantastic laugh this morning!
John (THOJ), I'm not sure anyone ever told you that nudity is not nearly as sexy as strategically clothed....
Brain bleach. I need brain bleach for the images you conjured (and I don't mean the cakes).
Bwahahaha! John you are the master of over-the-top and hilarious posts! I still laugh when I think of your "Lounge Lizard" post, AWESOME. Love love love your sense of humor! Jen is one lucky lady ;-)
I really, really want the Something Really Inappropriate cake. It even has sprinkles!
It is second only to the cake my coworker and I have agreed to get each other on our last days of work (if we ever left, that is...)
http://c.cslacker.com/4749l.jpg" rel="nofollow">Best retirement cake EVAH!
I'd join Becky in celebrating this day at work, unfortunately, I have an appointment with a couple of kids in the afternoon... I think that would lead to some jail time.
Too bad it's not my husband's golf day. I'd be a short, brisk walk to the course. bwahahahaha
Awesome post John (thoJ). Awesome comments, too!
*blink* *blink* O.o
Question 1, Tell your friend that as long as you, I mean he's the only one using it, why should Jen, oops...why should anyone, care?
Question 2, No, wooden stuff in the dishwasher gets splintery after a while. Just sayin'...not good.
Tell your friend they make plastic ones...
Taco? Hot dog? So what's the stuff on the outside (he asked, not really wanting to know).
What is both cool and ironic about the last one: they spelled 'inappropriate' correctly.
I find myself strangely glad that Cake Wrecks doesn't have a webcam.
wv: pactent. Item #1 on the camping checklist.
Jen is a lucky, lucky woman.
I always love all of cakewrecks posts, but today took the cake! (Pun intended, thank you, thank you very much.) Today was hilarious! Mildred was just running to get that back scratcher.
Wow, that was SOME post today...
"Something Really Inappropriate" would be good for a bridal shower cake. I think I'll keep that in mind for a certain someone I know who's getting married next year.
The Other Mel
I love this blog so hard!
No, that wasn't a pun.
actually laughed out loud through this whole post.. till i saw the duck then said wow out loud then continued to laugh! great post!
LOL ... that was great!!
I am quite skeptic if that is really Jen's husband or a picture off Google search LOL. But the hotco (hotdog/taco) makes me lol.
There are no words for how awesome you guys are. I <3 this blog in particular so much!
of the second cake, my daughter (who will be three in two weeks) said: "That's not a cake, Mommy, that's a pinata!" I'd sure like to hit it with a stick...
Today is my birthday - what a great post to celebrate with!
I was going to say the taco/hotdog thing looked like a hamburger laying on its side, but it's got white stuff on top, so now I'm not sure anymore!
BEST.POST.EVER.JOHN!
Thanks for the laughs!
The green turtle and big bird are the best!
I'm thinking hot dog...
Love the big bird! How creepy!
HIL.Air.EE.US!! Great job, john (thoJ)!!
Wow. I'm all hot and bothered! I'm gettin' nekkid and waking my hubby up! Maybe we can go...make a cake...
John (THOJ) you seem to forget that many of us have actually met you during your world book tour...and unless you've been working out like Hans and Franz used to your self portrait is photoshopped. ;o)
However, your post was awesome...and I would go with a plastic back scratcher if you want to put it in the dishwasher.