Brought to You By Seymour Butz
July 13, 2011 Remember when I used to rail against the cannibalistic indignity that is the baby butt cake?
....
Let's do that again!
Hm. Given those "legs" and the hastily edited "Baby," you have to wonder what the baker thought s/he was making.After all, bakers don't always have the firmest grasp on the whole "edible butt" concept.
For example, "broken legs shoved under a table" isn't quite what we're going for here:
Ow.
Also watch out for TLS - teeny leg syndrome.And while you're at it, parents, maybe wait 'til your baby is a little older before dousing her lower half with self-tanner:
I mean, c'mon, the cheeky little devil is barely half-grown!'Course, sometimes a butt cake is more than just a butt cake.:
Sometimes it's a Toddler Torso cake.Or, if you're lucky, sometimes it's a snaggle-toothed-monster-popping-through-a-sheet-cake-and-about-to-eat-a-rose cake:
Don't even try to tell me you don't see it.And finally, for those of you who, like me, think the idea of ingesting a cake shaped like the poop-factory end of an infant is kind of disturbing, just remember:
...it sure beats getting a head.Thanks to Maria S., Deidre P., Aubrey A., Anony M., Renee W., Roman S., & Debra for cracking us up today.
Reader Comments (93)
my 5yo said "the bakers need a spanking!"
Opps, the 4th cake looks like a heart mold.
The first one looks like a monkey...just saying.
Baby Kaiden (wreck #1) is a MONKEY! OMG now we have "baby shower" cakes for primates!
OMG!..That last cake is awful!..So Scary!..I can't believe anyone would think of eating it!..
Marie
I can hear someone saying:
"OK, I'll eat a baby, and maybe I'll even eat a diaper full of baby poop, but I'm NOT eating a diaper with Eeyore on it!"
You've got to have standards, you know.
My 14 year old said: "Someone needs to stop drinking."
At least there's not "It a Gril" written anywhere. The room would have started spinning.
All disturbing on so many many levels...
Entire baby cakes are best if made of RED Velvet cake with Strawberry filling between layers. More realistic that way.
#1 looks like a monkey butt. Brpy Kaiden?
self tanning baby has a load in its diaper!
toddler baby is scary with those pale yellow feet...are we sure it's human and not alien? the left foot looks like it has six toes!
snaggle tooth monster disguised as a ladybug with arms is freaking me out. but the roses are quite lovely! (what was the concept here? baby with split in pants at a picnic falls in a hole by roses?)
just wondering--baby butt cakes. are they more likely to be red velvet or chocolate inside?
meanwhile, the last one looks like a crime victim. or like it's roasting with that crazy tan.
The only thing that would make this better is red velvet cake inside...
That is just disturbing.
#1 looks like the cake Junie B. Jones would expect for her baby brother. she thought he was a monkey (since that's what grandma called him and his bedroom had a jungle theme and a "cage" (crib)).
but seriously, I think Anon @ 1:06 is on to something. how many family rivalries and "issues" have people had with party throwing? these cakes may be "born" from some sort of quest for revenge... because really, when are they ever a good idea? who wants a baby butt cake!
Six toes on the tanned-infant cake. I mean, on its right foot. The left foot is not to be mentioned in polite society.
WV: undulaw: These cakes should be banned undu law.
re: cake #3
that kid isn't fat, it's just a full diaper. Hope it isn't chocolate......
My daughter and I jumped and held each other over that last one. Yikes!
Who, tell me, WHO thinks this stuff up? Did no one look at that Toddler Torso (bwahahaha!) and think to themselves, "Hmm, maybe this isn't such a good idea?"
The Toddler Torso cake definitely only has 5 toes on the left foot, if you look closely. They are strangely flat, though.
And I wish I could see the emblem on his right pocket.
And what an odd choice for a blanket pattern, unless it was based on a real-life blanket.
Now that I see the monster, I can't see it as a butt anymore.
WV: daysic. I'm gonna spend the whole daysic after this one.
Ugh. That's amazingly creepy...
Wonderful ideas for even better reason to celebrate!
The self-tanner one is also shaped like an egg...
If they had just let that ladybug cake be a ladybug. It would have been really cute. Why?! :_(
Are you sure those aren't monkey paws on the first one?
I wouldn't want to cut into that first baby - they're a LUMP int he diaper!
I love this site!!! The cakes today make me laugh, and your commentary is the best! You are...hmm how to describe you... I will have to make a new word... WRECKALICIOUS!!! *nodding* it works!!! Keep posting Jenn!
I think baby butt cakes can be cute IF done in a lighthearted, cartoony fashion. But these were just wrogn.
ESPECIALLY the last cake. No...wrong. I would be too disturbed.
@Bin, I might see a greenish tinge if I looked in the mirror...
#1 I'm glad several other people saw what I saw. I didn't want to be politically incorrect.
#2 Another entry in the bulging, 'I have to make something I've never seen before' file. It is my fervent hope that wreckerators do not make real babies, either.
#3 Continuing the theme, I realize there are dolls that are constructed as bags of stuffing tied at strategic places to provide some articulation, but as a model for a cake? Pictures of real babies abound.
#4 At first, I read the message as 'Welcome Baby Pile!'. I don't know why I would have read it that way. By the way, airbrushes ought to be cleaned at least once a year.
#7 The Eeyore diaper is the only redeeming feature here. Just too many elements of presentation, what with the pose, the pearl onion-looking thing in the mouth and the socks. On the hands. What does it all mean?!
Do these people not think about the next stage in the life cycle of a cake?
Remember that urban legend about the stoned babysitter who put the baby in the oven thinking it was a turkey?
She's now gone on to make baby shower cakes.
I see a Ladybug, granted it should be fighting Godzilla in an epic monster battle but it's still a Ladybug.
It's a snaggle-toothed-LADYBUG monster
Well...at least the flowers on the last one look nice...
Seriously, I can't come up with anything more coherent to say about that last cake than my initial reaction of,"AAAAHHHHH!".
Two things:
1. "Half-torso". Well, half-torso and legs. One's torso is sort of a shoulder to pubis thing. Without the feet, it's sort of a "Wrong Trousers" thing...
2. Is that a rodent of some description sitting on the last baby's butt?
And let the nightmares begin. Why oh why did they make that one baby butt look like a deranged flower eating lady bug? I am frightened for the customer on that one lol.
My husband says there should be a law against cakes like that last one!
See, the thing is I used to decorate cakes. And when I did special occasion cakes there were always lots of people looking over my shoulder FREELY giving me their opinion (for better or worse...).
Why isn't anyone, ANYONE saying, "Ohhhh honey those legs might look a little broken."
Love this site!
I just don't get it! WHY, oh why, would anyone make/want such a cake. the fact that there is more than one such cake is a little disturbing quite honestly.
btw. I'm new to cake wrecks and I LOVE it!!! I read it all the time now while I feed my newborn...my newborn that I've never had a desire to eat. Now or prenatally. Weird, I know.
Speaking of tanning, The Latest "You Don't Know Jack" trivia video game featured a fake sponsor and related commercial for : "Burnie's Baby-Browning Tanning Beds"
I couldn't stop laughing at the snaggle-toothed-monster-popping-through-a-sheet-cake-about-to-eat-a-rose one. My throat hurts from laughing so much at it.