Thursday
Feb112010
TMI Valentines
February 11, 2010 MOM ALERT: today's Wrecks may start some awkward conversations with the kids.
When choosing sweets for your Sweet this week, think twice before going with one of these.
(Although s/he seems a bit unsure:"Huge.. Me..."?)
I've heard of taking a flying leap before, but this is ridiculous.
Stores aren't really helping with their Valentines' displays, either:
Something about this sign just rubs me the wrong way.
Something about this sign just rubs me the wrong way.
I wish I could say "breast" is a Freudian slip here, but it isn't. (I'll spare you *that* picture, though. Heh.) Still, the way this is phrased makes me wonder why some guy named Valentine is demanding we women yell instructions at one of our wachungas. ("You there! Lefty! Stop slouching and face front!")
And finally, the sure-fire mood killer:
"Darlin', let's make a really ugly baby together. Or maybe just eat this one."
Grant H., Anthony S., Meredith S., Jennifer S., & Jen F., that baby cake would be a hilarious Valentine for an ex. Not that I'm encouraging that kind of thing, of course. ;)
- Related Wreckage: Heart Expressions
Reader Comments (84)
$6.99? I've never seen massage cookies so cheap!
I'll confess that I have no idea what the 'breast' sign was *supposed* to say.
The ugly baby looks remarkably similar to Strong Sad from Homestar Runner.
wv: tientle - the cross between a necktie and a lentil.
Is that last one a baby, or happy Buddha?
Flying poo bugs? Pooping as they fly? What fresh hell is this? Mosquitoes and roaches and flies, oh my! but I give up with the flying poo. Interesting, too, that it is cake #2.
Ummmm...the wings on the pooperflies...are those PLASTIC?
Some of these wreckerators need to go see a shrink and deal with their poop fetish. Cake icing should not make one wanna hurl.
I think I'll go cleanse my mind by looking at one of my food "porn" blogs.
LOL at ordering one's breasts. Mine are conscientious objectors.
How did Zippy get associated with St. Valentine?
Massage cookies? I like :) Poop butterfly? Not so much lol
Sorry, I'm not going to eat a cake (or CupCake Cake?) with insect droppings all over it, even if someone did try to camouflage it with multicolored sprinkles.
Massage cookies must be what you use if you're tired of the usual oils.
... What was "Order your breast now" SUPPOSED to mean??
As for that baby at the end, all I can think of is that it was commissioned as an ad for birth control.
Sadly, that butterfly cake would have been okay had they only used a different color of icing...
OMG. It is a CCC baby. Truly frightening!
Baby? It looks like a clown in a diaper. I need a massage, Cookie.
By the time I reached the final ccc, "Huge...Me..." was looking REAL GOOD.
That last cake looks more like he could be a dude from that old Mike Tyson wrestling game from Nintendo.
LOL - that "Huge Me" cake reminds me of one of the first Cake Wrecks I've ever seen - the "Huge Me" cake from last Valentine's Day!
Flying leap? Looks more like a flying HEAP!
BOOYAH!! Great puns as always!!
How about "Parent Alert" instead of "Mom Alert"?
Dad might need to do some wreck explaining too!
My best guess is that they were talking about a chicken or turkey breast.
The last cake is Cupid after he let himself go. Maybe he decided to take up sumo.
When I realised the baby was a CCC...it just made it me realise how truly despicable they truly are!
Yes, I'll take one of those 12" massage cookies. wonder what exactly they are???
Love is all around me... Love for your wit astounds me!
Just think... on Monday these cakes will be half off.
Oh wait, perhaps they already are.
NOTE TO DECORATORS: When you are about to use chocolate frosting, ask yourself, "Is this going to wind up looking like a turd?"
I really think we could've saved ourselves from a LOT of these wrecks if that was part of every decorators checklist. (Of course then there wouldn't be as much to laugh at ;))
Thanks for the parental warning! My kids love Cake Wrecks! :)
WV: probili: these cakes probili won't sell very well.
I'm thinking the 12" massage cookie is probably exaggerating.
"Let's make a really ugly baby together, or we could just eat this one." Classic.
Your awesome Jen.
I love this website.
I could use a 12" massage, eh, cookie....
btw, love the label on the ugly cherub baby. "buttercream icing without picks or rings"--yet I see heart picks and safety pins! at least the cherub isn't wearing any piercings. but the lipstick and RED TOENAIL POLISH freaks me out. that and the angry, licorice-like decoration on his head. ears, hair, face? it's all the same.and yet he has delicate pink frills at his collar and cuffs, and a pink wittle bellybutton!
should we call him Gangster Baby? because that is what he looks like
wv: slysi: These decorators thought they were being sly, si?
Who would order a baby cake for Valentines Day? There is nothing LESS romantic than a misshapen ccc with a poopy diaper.
Well, except for poopy butterflies.
I didn't get the massage, or the message. but what a bargain!
the poo butterflies are leaving a trail...ick. nice cheater wings with the hearts, too.
Jen, your interpretation of the breast sign was hysterical. I was seeing poultry case issues, then concubine situations, but you took it to a whole new LITERAL level! LOL
momcat: "What fresh hell is this?"
ROFL that's a great line!
Gary, those massage cookies sound messy! ouch--crumbs in the bed.
I wonder if that sumo baby is supposed to HOLD the Huge Me heart?
I swear these cakes take every single spark of romance out of Valentines! YIKES .... ware du day fine dees wreckerators?
Gotta love the "huge me" pun. Though now, all I can think is that last year's "huge me" was so much better...
...clearly, I need help. ;)
Also, LOL @ Miranda. "Pooperflies" made me laugh almost as hard as the wreck itself made me wince.
That bottom one looks like a lady sumo squatting to give birth.
that's a baby???????? oh. my. god.
odd. my comment from earlier in the morning didn't show up. was i censored/deleted?
i thought i was behaving today. :-)
Why, oh why, can't people wishing to give their loved ones a Valentine stick to chocolates? Or a nice card, or some flowers?
*shudder*
almost makes me glad i don't have a valentine to give me one of these cakes! almost...
The last one is definitely supposed to be be Cupid. See the heart cookie "wings" on the shoulders? Why Cupid has a candy-apple red pedicure, however, is beyond me.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - Valentines Day and Halloween are interchangeable holidays - that last cake in the deck is proof!
That last cake is just hideous!
ok the poo bugs are pretty amusing... that baby however? is horrifying!
wv: rhaeupso. as in did the creator of the baby cake get fired? rhaeupso!
AH MAH GAH! Another "Huge Me"!!! That was my favorite wreck of all time!
I even had Jen write it in my book when y'all were on tour. Amazing.
that last cw is a *baby*??? barf. and, to add to the wreckage, i'm pretty sure it's a CCC (patooey).
mood killer indeed.
Nothing says "I love you" like an angry Benjamin Button in a diaper.
I am going to have nightmares about that last one ::shudders::
Hmm. Heard of Hot Stone Massage. Maybe Cookie Massage is another new New Age type of massage.
Do you get to choose cup size for the Breasts? I could see that as a new type of treat at Hooters or an "exotic dance bar."
that creepy baby cakes looks suspiciously like a dreaded CCC!!!