John's Birthday Suit
November 2, 2010 It's my birthdy! And by "my" I mean it's john (the hubby of Jen)'s birthay. Granted, I don't usually speak of myself in the third person (unless I'm in the midst of seduction [which, admittedly, rarely works (but John never knows unless he tries!)])...but...um...where was I?
Oh, yeah: It's my birhday!
I originally wanted to write about those Canadian Nazi carrots you can buy at Epcot, but then I figured I'd just show you a bunch of misspelled cakes, so my own misspellings look international. Because I'm crazy like that. And giving. Yep, John's a giver.
[eyebrow waggle]
I believe it's spelled "Shirk." And since I did avoid seeing the last movie, this kind of works.Isn't this called an oxymaroon?
Although if you roll the "r" while reading it out loud, you'll sound just like Sherk! Go on. Try it.This one also seems a little contradictionary:
"Stop that right this second! Don't make me pull this event over!"And since you long-time Wreckies know how fond I am of Earth Day cakes...
Listen! Do you smell Epcot?And finally, this is not a cake, but I've gotta say...
...I pay way more for Jen's pasties.Hm? What's this? Jen's telling me "pasties" are also British meat pies.
John thinks she's trying to tell him something. [eyebrow waggle]
John also would like to know why Jen rolls her eyes so much.
[duckface]
[Barry White music]
Awwww yeahhh. Mmmmmmm, baaaby. John knows what you want:
In fact, because I'm such a giver, we're going to give stuff away every day this week, with even *more* give-aways on Facebook. Who loves me? Who is it? Oh yeah, it's you. Mmmhmmm. Happy briday to ME.
Check tomorrow's post for the winner's names, and also for your next chance to win stuff. Also watch the CW Facebook page this week for more chances to win exclusive CW pin packs and assorted goodies.
Reader Comments (768)
Happy birthday John!
It was the first frosty morning here in PA - there were even frost on the pumpkins! Guess I should start wearing a bra, huh?
Greet job on the blog y'all. Happy Birthday John!
Sending
Esteemed
X-altations on
Your
Birthday!
-Michelle C
Happy Birthday! For him: Low-cut shirt, sequins, lace, smoky gaze. For her: Mustache, chesthair, poly-cotton blend. Bear rug.
Hapy Brthdae Jon! Greet post! Hope you get lots of pasties!
After reading the word pasties so many times, it has lost all meaning to me. This is a shame though because I like boobies.:) Happy birthday John!
Deer Jon-
Hoppy Birfday! (add harts and ballons)
I like free stuff!
It's my son's 3rd birthday today :-)
Hopy Brithhdy, Jhon!
The only question I have after this great post is: Do you want Sprinkles on your Pasties?
Happy Birthday ! You know what's sexy ??? Free stuff ... even sexier ?? Free cake related stuff :) May your day be filled with many many pasties!
HIPPO BIRDY TO YOU!!!
Such a giver, you are!
Oh, hon. A "sexy" contest at MY age? I'd be lucky to remember how to spell it, never mind...
Ahem. Anyway, in my best sexy JEN voice, because, umm, you know, otherwise it's kinda, like, too wierd, and....
"Is that a Carrot in your Jockies, Baby, or are you just happy to see me?"
*blushes furiously*
~ Kay C.
Me thinks enciting this contest makes you a little bit of a comment whore...but I'd do almost anything for a prize. I guess that makes two of us. :) Here's to a birthday that goes all the way!
Happy Birthday, John!
Happy birthday John! Enjoyed reading your post. :)
Katy
On your birthday I see....
Cannoli-covered nipples.
(Am I the only one getting that mental picture from this post? Yes? Ok. Ahem.)
Happy Birthday, John!
Happy Birthday, John!
Hippy girth dei!
Lady GaGa wears pasties made out of meat, why can't Jen?
This is your birthday song. It isn't very long......!
If I was a president, I'd be Babe-raham Lincoln. John, if YOU were a president you'd be Aberhem Lincolon. Happy Birthday!
That cake would look great in a pile on the floor by my bed. I tried...
Happy Birthday!
Isn't it amazing how many more comments you get when there's free stuff involved?? Hahaha! You greedy little minxes!
(me included!)
Great narrative imagery, John. I think. =0)
I like chocolate pasties. MMMMM. Happy birthday may you enjoy your favorite Pasties.
Happy birthday!
Funny post!
Happy Birthday John! Hope it's Greet!
P.S.
Call me obtuse, but I never knew what all those word verification whatsits were until I typed in this one just now-
WV= opunit- Hey, I got you a birthday present! Hurry, opunit up!
Did I do it right?
Sexy comment.
Happy Sexy Brithday to you!
Let's be honest, there is NOTHING sexier than spelling errors in icing. Except maybe grammatical ones.
Pasties should be available for purchase in every coffee shop. What a great way to ensure more business at night!
Meat Pie Boobs would be a great band name. Or at least a "greet" band name.
Happy birthday, John!
Sexy.
happy brithday...er birtday...uh...I don't know if this blog has ever taught me how to correctly spell the day of your birth ;) have a good one!
Buy 2 pasties, get Edible panty free! Flavors include cherry, strawberry, avocado, and sardine.
Get yours now, while supplies last!
dcbehlmer at hotmail dot com
I have to admit, the newest Shrek was actually pretty funny. Way better than the third third one. Yay Cake Wrecks!
Hey John.....Happy Birthday. Remember, its not the size of the wreck that counts, but how ya swang it!
Hippo Birdies two ewes John! Keep 'em coming! Don't cease the moment, cuz that would be dangerous.
Happy birthday!
And remember, wherever you go, there you are!
-- Lethe
Heidi (who often speaks of herself in the third person...mostly so people will continue to think she is crazy and leave her alone) wishes John a very "hippy brithday with sprinkles!" :-)
And as for pasties, I saw a craft show recently on how to make your own.(not talking about the meat kind!) How much of a crafting enthusiast do you have to be to pull out your hot glue gun and cut the tassels off your throw pillows to make your own? Especially of you can buy them for $1?
Happy happy joy joy! I'm not going to ask what gets you to that state. (Kids visit this site, ya know.)
Happy birthday!
-Teabunny
wv: oscroc. Let your imagination run wild.
Happy Birthday, John!
Sorry, I've been married 32 years, so my sexy talk is all reserved for Hubby. <3
But may your birthday be great
with much cheer and an unwrecked cake
and may Jen and amour
be forever yours.
John, the bronzed DANISH internet god, was feeling kinda CRUSTY. It was his birthday, he’d FRITTER’d his day, drooling over a TARTLETTE. Jen had caught him, SCONE‘d him, COBBLER‘d him to MINCEMEAT and now he wasn’t sure what to expect for his big B’Day dinner celebration. His normally sweet interior had soured, he felt FLAKY.
When walked into to the office, Jen looked up, startled, partially blinded by the bright computer screen, and smiled, “QUICHE, if I’d known you were coming, I’d have baked you a CAKE”, she breathed huskily and winked. She stood up and offered him a COCKTAIL. It was then he saw her PUFF PASTRY‘s and PASTIES and he reached out to grab one. She TURN‘d OVER and slapped his BEARCLAW with a playful SHOOFLY. “Later, babe, later…” then she pinched his ELEPHANT EAR and led him to the kitchen.
Jen grabbed the bag of groceries he was holding and STRUDEL’d with its contents. She then began to beat his DOUGH. He watched as her ample DUMPLING and STICKY BUNS began to rise, and then she lined her DEEP DISH PIE pan. “No PECAN, it’s a secret spicy recipe.” Waggling her eyebrow. “I’m making TOURTIÈRE, it’s French Canadian!!! I figured this would make my little MARZIPAN, go PIE eyed.”
“COOKIE” Jen purred, “could you make sure the oven’s FLAMBÉ is lit, I BISCOTTI to check.“
He could feel the heat already so he clutched her heaving goodies and thrust his birthday grub into her hot box. Savoury scents soon filled the room and John unable to wait began to nibble on her CREAM PUFFS.
“BAKLAVA off,” you’re MACAROONing me crazy and STREUSELing me out. Dinner’s almost ready. Sit down.” She laughed.
Jen put a TART , like the one John had been eyeing earlier, in front of him. It was a glorious and smelled divine.
“I’m ravenous” Jen said. Her mouth watering as she bit into his MEAT PIE and swallowed the piece whole, “There nothing like good pork!” licking her lips.
“Leave room for dessert. CUPCAKE ,we’re going to make WHOOPIE!! Pie, that is... with sprinkles on top.” And then she winked again…
Happy Birthday
Happy birthday! May the icing blobs never darken your white shirt. Unless you're into that sort of thing.
They actually do sell edible pasties. They taste kind of like fruit rollups! Anyway, Happy Birthday John!
Happy birthday John!
-Tori M.
Michigan
Happy birthday John!! I hope it's a greet one!
Just pick me already! :) PS Happy Birthday John!
HaPPy BRiTHDay "JOHn"! Your the "best"!