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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jan082010

Funny Business

NOTE: Getteth thine kiddies hence! (Translation: today's post is not for the youngun's!)

These clowns seem pretty excited about their cupcakes.


No, I mean really excited.


No, no. I mean REALLY excited.

"Oh! Uh. Hi, guys. Heheh. So, what's up?

"What are we doing? Who - us? Uh...nothing? Yeah, nothing. Nothing at all. Sooo....yeah. Listen, can you close that door again on your way out? And turn the Jimmy Buffett CD back on? Thanks. Yeah. You, too. Ok, then. Bye!"

"So I says to her, 'hey, baby, don't let the tiny clown car fool you; it's not the way you throw the cream pie, it's the way you put the tutu on the dog!' And she was all, 'What?' and I was like, 'never mind.' Yeah."

And then, just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...

Something like this comes along:

Whatever you do, DO NOT click on this picture to see it full size. Srsly. Don't do it.

[whistling]

Ok, now that you've clicked on the picture to see it full size - care to join me in a "I could've gone my whole life without seeing clown tinkle toys" scream? Groovy.

AAAAAAUUUUGGGHHH!!

Keith R., Will B., Jane O., Amy F., & Nicole V., I nominate "tinkle toys" as the new clown-bits euphemism for 2010. Any seconds?

- Related Wreckage: Coulrophobia Cakes

Note: The tinkle toys in the last picture were supposed to be buttons. Pink buttons.

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Reader Comments (265)

That was the most horrifying cupcake I've ever seen. Thank you for burning that into my memory. Lol!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSparky

Spit take with the coffee when I enlarged the pic. Great start to my day!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCHristine

CLEARLY in the last one, they are bubble wands that the clowns put down to have a picture taken, not realizing that the whole body would be included.

It happens more often then you'd think.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDamon

uhm... ah... AUGH? yeah I did NOT need to see that. but it was like a car crash. you couldn't help BUT to look at it.

Waugh. (Shuddering noise)

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBronwyn S.

As if my clown phobia wasn't enough to give me nightmares! ;)

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbev

You know, clowns and cupcakes have needs, too. It's not our place to judge.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSara

What the heck were those "tinkle toys" supposed to be? Was that a naughty bakery?

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRose D.

oh. my. wow, these are. um. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Gah! WHO wouldn't NOTCIE this?!?! Eek! Thanks so much for THAT nightmare tonight, lol.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterT Lee

OH!!! MY EYES!! MY EEEYEESSSS!!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPooh's Pics

Note the blue icing in the last one. Clearly, these guys were bathing and minding their own business when some psycho wreckrator just burst in and started decorating cupcakes in their image. What I don't understand is why they posed for so long before kicking him out...

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

so how x-rated would it be to eat one of those things anyway? Would you have to be, uh, alone with it? Would you feel slightly ashamed? Would it ever call you after all was said and done for the date it promised you? These questions are going to fry my brain if I think about them too hard.

wv: Traliki *snorts*

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBonnie

I've seen some sick things in my life, but that...that was disturbing beyond words.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I am pretty sure that putting any one of these clowns on my food would be a great way to lose weight. not only would you not eat the food, but you'd burn calories from running away from it.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Jerseymooners

Nice restraint on not commenting on the flotsam. Too much horror for one cupcake--in so many different ways. Aaaagh!

vw: pressi "Look what happens ven ve pressi ze icing tip like zis . . ."

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDeirdre

Glad you explained that they were supposed to be buttons, because I thought it had to be a bakery prank for sure.

In fact, I'm not entirely convinced they were supposed to be buttons after all...

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

The last one shows equality... some of them have Va-jay-jay's until the the very first clown in the front row... I laughed so hard..I almost choaked on my Coffee.... Thank You for so many Laughs even whn I didnt feel like laughing.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristina B

Thank you very much. I can NEVER UNSEE THAT!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterViewtiful_Justin

just when I thought it couldn't get any worse...

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMalisa Twelves

Oh my lord, I hope I never see anything like that for the rest of my life!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDevika

Holy cow. I think my favorite are the humping clown cupcakes. I'm giggling like a 10-year-old in my office.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEarly Modern Mom

Tinkle Toys Unite!!!!
Thanks for my morning chuckle/nightmare as I start my day!! Your site is hilarious. Pam

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Now this is a first, never did I expect to come on this site and find CLOWN PORN! This is truly a new low for Cake Wrecks... keep it up;)

These are beyond tragic (what's with the compulsion to sprawl clowns across baked goods?) and those cupcakes? Pink buttons huh? uh huh yeah ok:-P

PS for anyone who actually might be offended by today's blog, well ya'll need to get hooked on phonics. Go back and read the first line of the page VERY SLOWLY, it's ok I'll wait... feel silly dontcha? Off with ya now!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCulinarychiq

LOL! love these!

This post earns the biggest WTF ever. Who would make these or buy these? Especially those last ones. I think the last clowns were made by people who were trying to get away with something, like hidden items in The Little Mermaid cover art.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Okay, the clowns were awful! Did anyone else see the chocolate cupcake in teh background with the green gummy worm on top? Clearly this bakery has some issues!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMandy A.

Those are just all KINDS of wrong.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlbatross

That was seriously an amazing lol to get me through the rest of this COLD, Wet, day teaching children!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

*waits for obligatory "THIS IS A KIDS BLOG WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU SUCK" comments*

Those last clowns were . . . HOW did they not notice that? Really? Even my little mind isn't so innocent as to not notice something like that when I screw something up . . .

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSyldoran

Oh come on, like you’ve never dressed up as a clown and made sweet, sweet love to your sweet sweets. Am I right?

Anyone...

[gulp]

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAbby Normal

I never had a fear of clowns... until today! Thanks a lot!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFanboy Wife

No freaking way. The color match is especially disturbing/remarkable.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersarah k.

I really should stop reading your blog at work. I normally try to stick with silent laughter, but today I couldn't help myself.. and the loud guffaws coming from my desk area does not help the illusion I'm trying to create of being a normal, relatively sane, capable secretary.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

The clowns in the last photo look like they are in straight-jackets. Add that to the tinkle toys ((shudder))...

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow. These are, I don't know.....absolutely AWESOME!
Thank you for the huge laugh. :-)

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShalmeno

Best. Post. Ever.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig-Jen

What were they thinking?!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

I second the Tinkle Toys moniker, but I pray that it never has to be used ever again. That was beyond disturbing!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I guess everything really does float down there, who'da thunk it.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Obscene clown cupcakes. I think that I've now seen it all. EYE BLEACH!!!

(snicker, snicker, clown tinkle toys...)

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

AAHHHHHHHHHHHH! My eyes!!!!!!

Just one more reason why there shouldn' be clowns.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArtoo Detoo

laaaaugh. 'tinkle toys'. Priceless.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

I have just seen things that cannot be unseen....lol

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

You have spoiled a pure mind! *Shifting eyes upwards and raising a finger to my lips, shhh!* I didn't see how the last one could be considered clown porn until I read the rest of your post... I just thought, thet were horribly, hilariously put together cupcakes that were supposed to look like clowns... Oh ok, so thats a lie, I first thought the feet looked like grandma had spent a little toom much time outside and now her nips were turning blue, but can you blame me? Two big blobs with blue spots in the middle? Come, even a child could spot that!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhansueter

If I wasn't scared of clowns before, I surely am now!

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKosmic Freeway

See, see, there is a reason to be frightened of clowns.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCan't See Sheep

I'm scared of clowns for a whole difference reason now.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I thought those bits on the last clowns were supposed to be their hands, just like their feet were litte swipes of icing. If they really are supposed to be buttons, then I think it is more disturbing that they are a bunch of armless clowns. No offence intended to people without arms.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

"Tinkle toys" officially seconded.

Brain scrubbing officially commencing.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnoelleB

There's not really anything to say to that, except: Oh, my God.

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJAM

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