If You Want Something Done Right...
September 2, 2009 "Darling, I don't mean to criticize - because I appreciate your ordering the shower cake, I really do. It's just that...well...I asked you to get a baby basket."
"And I'm just not sure this is conveying the right message."No, dear, it will not be fine; now it looks like we're hosting a baby funeral!
"Hm? Well, what about your cupcakes? How are they supposed to help?"
"Aaaaauuugghh!"Well, what did you expect me to say?!? Yes, I think everyone will 'get the visual', dear. That's the problem.
"Because it's gross, that's why!
"Now look, I need you to go back to the bakery - are you listening to me? - I need you to go back to the bakery, and get another cake. And remember: We are preparing for a new life. Happy, cheerful, life. We are avoiding death, mmkay? Got that? Good. Now hurry up; the party starts in an hour."
[Later...]
Dylan B., Angie F., & Meghan E., I'm told that cupcake is vegan. Anyone else find that ironic?
And speaking of which, if you live in Utah and are imagining all the events you could liven up with some gourmet vegan fetus-cupcakes, then you can order them here. (Uh, I don't think they call them fetus-cupcakes, though. And please don't tell them I sent you. Heh.)
- Related Wreckage: You Say Goodbye, and I Say Hello
Reader Comments (199)
Congiulitings? Am I reading that first one right?
I'm just not even sure what to think about those cakes. What were they celebrating in that last one?
the fetus cup cake shop failed to list "plastic naked babies" on their "Fillings" list...just saying
-holly
Holy. Crap. And I barfed in my mouth at that middle one.
The first cake makes me wonder why people at bakeries don't double check things like that. Just in case it might be the wrong order and horrify everybody who sees it.
The second cake looks like Neo took the red pill and got freed from the Matrix... as a baby.
#1 seems like plain bad judgement
#2 cracks me up (love the little hand)
#3 is downright scary.
OMG - all of these are horrific! I sincerely hope that the recipeint had a good sense of humor!
WV - nuumbe - After looking at today's wrecks, my mind will be nuumbe for the rest of the day
That cupcake is um. . .interesting. I think I would have freaked out if I ate one of those! I hope no one choked on the little babies! OMG I hope the little babies aren't edibile!!!
mysleepinghusband.com
I will never be able to erase the vision of that baby cupcake from my memory. The horror. The horror....
oh.my.god.
~Susan
Responses in my head, in order of appearance:
1. Seriously? Frosting on a baby casket, seems morbid and unbalanced...oh, wait, it's a "cake."
2. Ew. Gross. Ew, ew, ew EW. (cheeks puff out, slight urping noise, taste of vomit in back of mouth) Eeewwwwwww.....
3. What the F---?!!! Why am I even surprised? Where's the coffee?
I can usually figure out what the "professional" baker is going for, no matter how poorly executed (pun intended), but I am at a loss this time! What could the first cake have been other than a casket? A headstone? Is that better?
The cupcake seems a bit morbid, but I worry more about the choking hazard...who expects plastic babies in a cupcake?
Is the third cake one cake!? Again, I am at a loss. I would love to hear the story behind these!
WV: somindi - As you care, so care I. As you mind, somindi.
I think that last cake is the scariest thing I've ever seen!
WV - lavisho - For the price people probably paid for those cakes, I'd expect them to be more lavisho and less scary-o!
Re the cupcake: I think that's a baby shower game (although a highly disturbing one). I want to say it's Creole in origin, but the internet isn't being helpful right now.
Wow...that cupcake may be the worst thing ever created. How absolutely disgusting!
Is that fetus made of plastic? What a party pleaser! They must be stealth weapons for radical pro-life rallies.
"We'll choke those damn pro-choice bastards one cupcake at a time!"
What....on.....earth....were....they.....thinking?
No wait...they cant have a thought in their heads!
Product of the Dumb and even bl****! bakery.
Oh. my. gosh.
wow..that cupcake is truly disturbing. blech.
Oh my. So disturbing. I can see and appreciate lack of decorating talent and poor grammar, but just who on earth thought these were ok?!
WV: satint - I was looking for a cake to cheer me up this morning, but this satint.
Those are the worst!!
verrrrrrry disturbing! yikes!
I think this is the single most horrifying cakewrecks entry yet. I don't know if I'll ever be able to bite into a cup cake again without the fear that a bloody fetus might come spilling out of it.
Wreckorators of the world-
Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. The first and third cakes...well, just oh dear.
What a terrible tribute to the miracle of birth. Those "afterbirth cupcakes" are foul. Seriously? Placenta?
WV-fessubb- Whoever made these wrecks, needs to fessubb.
He he he ... I like then in a dark funny way he he...Thoose cupcakes are GREAT!!!!
Miscarriage cupcakes... that's sick!
I'm expecting my first child (due in Jan) and I love most of the creepy baby shower cakes you've featured....however, I have to say that the baby casket and the last "celebrating life...avoiding death" cake is a bit much. What was that baker thinking? "No...no need to clarify, I'm sure this is what the hostess wanted". Yikes!
I find these very very disturbing.
ooo I live in Utah, and I'm super excited about ordering some birth vegan cupcakes.
Ok, so the cupcake, I thought I had a twisted sense of humor, but that just brings it to new lows. To me it says: "Here, we're going to give you a glimpse of childbirth, in a cupcake, complete with realistic bloody goo". What is wrong with people??
And the 3rd one, I'm at a loss, I'm curious as to the intended purpose. Did someone have a combined baby shower/funeral?
Hot damn...That cupcake...I wouldn't eat that.
And what's the occasion for that last cake? So Morbid.
The cupcake in this post is probably the most disgusting wreck to date...maybe I'm wrong, but I would rather eat one of the poop look alikes than this...at least they're chocolate.
We have entered a truly bizarre dimension.
I am trying to wrap my mind around the cupcakes- do they bake a potentially lethal plastic in with the filling or are the baby and blood-like filling injected after baking? Either way- yuck.
And that last cake- I do not think there is an explanation that could cover that.
all of those are horrific! However... those cupcakes would be pretty awesome for a halloween party!
Sorry, but I'm gonna recycle a joke here....
"What should I do for the baby shower?"
"Definitely feed us cupcakes."
"Cupcakes?"
"Yeah, feed us cupcakes."
Hmm, fetus cupcakes. Weird, but if that's what they want.
I think the vegan fetus cupcake is probably the single most disgusting thing I've ever seen, and I watch those parasitology TV shows for fun! I went to that vegan baker's website and they have the audacity to say they use "butter cream frosting". HAHAHA! Seriously? Vegan butter cream? Talk about irony there, Jen!
WV: ungrat - onomatapeia for the sound I made when I saw that cupcake.
Okay, that "fetus cake" is the first thing on cake wrecks I would never eat! Up until now I'd be able to eat the cakes but that cupcake just makes me feel sick!
The last one looks like it should be for Final Destination 2 when they manage to get the baby born.
by the head on the sono on the 3rd cake, it looks like the baby was not expected to live long after birth. if that makes a difference. but still...
My brain refuses to accept that theses could be real. Oh, dear God...I think the worst part is people ordered these! The first one could be all the wreckorater's fault. But someone said "Hey, you know what would be great? Cupcakes that gave birth! Yum!" Oh, and the last one....I don't even have words. Wow...
@Jackie
It looks like the cupcakes could be a variation of the King's cake game, which I know is popular in New Orleans because of Mardi Gras. I know a fair amount of Greek and Serbian folks who make King's cake for Epiphany, too, so I don't think it's just a Creole or bayou thing.
A King's cake has an object baked into it, traditionally a bean, though I've also seen marshmallows, jellybeans, plastic babies, and small crosses used (depending on the baker's fondness for choking hazards). Whoever finds it in their slice is the king or queen of the festival (in my case, a church Epiphany potluck) and has to make next year's cake.
I've heard that the plastic baby represents Jesus (which makes sense for Epiphany but not Mardi Gras), but I've also heard that it started when a New Orleans bakery ran out of beans and started sticking tiny kewpie dolls in their King's cakes instead. I don't want to know why they had so many of those lying around they could start a whole freakin' tradition...
King's cupcakes do seem like a convenient update, but I think that if you insist on strawberry filling, opt for the bean.
I live in Utah - I can't wait to check this out!!! Although, their website doesn't list "babies" as one of their fillings...
my god.
Oh. My. God.
No. I don't even want to know the story behind the last one.
And I can't believe I'm about to say this, the words don't sound right in my head, but that is the most disgusting cupcake I've ever seen.
Wow.
I know that our local bakery tapes the tiny plastic baby to the side of the box of the king cake in order to avoid the choking lawsuit -you place it where you want in the cake before you serve it! Man is that scary.
Lori T.
I don't usually comment, but I have to say I literally gagged when I saw that cupcake. Melting plastic babies out of chunks of ice at receptions seems so much better now. That's so wrong.
That cupcake is the most disgusting intended for consumption item I have ever seen. I could not believe that was ever created. Not even for Halloween.
I am going to go look at lolcats now.
I suspect that last cake is meant to celebrate the fact that somebody decided not to abort the baby. Or maybe someone very old is having a baby?
I'm not sure what brand of my ire is most raised--political or tasteful.
wow..ahhh, wow...i don't even know what to say those...
Con...Congra...Congri...Congraiutilitings?
Pink baby coffin AND misspelling. GOLDEN.
Oh dear! It always amazes me that the bakers dont ever double check the orders!