The Most Wonderful Time...
September 1, 2009 Hi all, Anne-Marie-the-Wrecksistant here!
Some years back, there was this Staples commercial that featured a Dad gleefully stocking up on back-to-school supplies, while his two sullen tots trailed hopelessly along behind him. The jolly little ditty about it being the most wonderful time of the year played merrily in the background, and I, the mother of a teen myself, always felt my heart lift a little as I contemplated the first day of school.
[slapping my own hand] Bad mommy! Bad mommy!
Anyway, whether you're thrilled about the day after Labor Day or not, there are plenty of cakes to celebrate with:
"No, sweety-luvvy-kins, spray painting the bus will NOT get you a day off from school. They'll just send another one."
"And don't let this give you any ideas, either."
[sigh] "Ok, yes, if your bus driver has a big bloody grin, tells you to 'Jump in im back,' and the other kids are screaming warnings from the windows, then we can talk.
"But that's not going to happen! So, out you go. Chop chop. Bus is waiting.
"Look, do you know what happens to little tykes who complain about school? Hm? The Poop Nose Snaggletooth Dog-a-saurus comes after them!"
[Screaming child runs toward waiting schoolbus]
Ahhhhhh... silence at last! This really is the most wonderful time of the year.
Wait, that just reminded me of something. Soon I'll have to start my holiday shopping.
Aw, crap.
Thank for the reminder, Tiffany, Allison I., Stephanie P. & Kylie. Really.
- Related Wreckage: Cake Wrecks, World Educator
Reader Comments (126)
Is the first one underwater?
Must be the Magic School Bus.
i thought he was telling the kids to "jump in, in back"... that combined with the kids made of black icing and the fact that it was a bus, the cake scared me pee out of me for a minute.
That commercial is such a classic! They used it again this year. I love it.
As for the cakes, well, um, those are just horrific.
1.) I keep reading "wrecksistant" as "wreckititis". I think that's when you overdose on CW's: Sorry, Anne-Marie won't be in today, she has a minor case of wreckitis.
2.) Is Poopnose von Snaggledog (that's his name in my world) made completely of icing?! He's definitely gonna look the same goin' out as he did goin' in...
Back to school the day after Labor Day? What kind of a fantasy land do you live in? Our kids have been in school since the first week of August. The bliss has worn off. I need a cake that says "Do your homework or you will make cakes that show up on Cake Wrecks."
that commercial is SO my mother's favorite, until she had to drop her last 2 kids off at college for the first time.
maybe there'll be some empty nest wrecktastic cakes out there for mothers like mine.
Wait, that just reminded me of something. Soon I'll have to start my holiday shopping.
You're not done yet? [sigh] Slackers.
I love the slashed tires bus. Purely for comedic reasons, that thing is a horrible mess.
Great job Anne-Marie! Your writing is as good as Jen's!
Does anybody else think that the 2nd one looks like a pig somebody painted to look like a bus? Or is that just me?
That last one is rather frightening...
wv: inguiest - That's the inguiest looking dog I've ever seen. What did that essay DO to him???
Oh my, so wrecky! I actually like the "dog eats homework" cake. OK, well I like the *idea* of the cake, maybe not so much the execution.
-Jenniffer
http://cupadeecakes.blogspot.com
These are great! I always like that comercial too except I still tear up when I drop my daughter off that first day of school. (She started 4th grade this year)
mysleepinghusband.com
Wow - those were hideous! "Get in iom back"? And that dog would scare anyone. Very funny captions, tho'.
WOAH Cudjoe!
That...dog creature...is a hot mess. Looks like one too!
:D Brilliant as usual!
The cakes you post are funny on their own, but your commentary adds so much hilarity!
OMG LOL! Jump in back teehee!
Jairus Durnett - lots of schools dont go back until after Labour Day - it isnt a fantasy world.
I think if you showed the teacher a picture of that dog, she'd believe he ate your homework.
Well, I almost think that the "Jump in im back" cake is *trying* to say, "Jump in. I'M back," as in, the school bus is TALKING. Get it? "Hi, kiddies--I'm the school bus, and I'm BACK! Jump in".
'Cause, you know...the driver's not gonna be telling the little buggers to actually jump IN the bus.
They're not supposed to jump while IN the bus.
Really.
The kids are going to throw up just looking at this cake; never mind actually eating it. Sheeesh.
=^00^=
Honestly, the writing is bad. You should maybe just post the wrecks and let the readers caption them? Not trying to be mean, but it was painful.
Hi Anne-Marie!! Great post.
I thought the last one was okay, even kind of cute, until I noticed the teeth. Yeah, I know the color is rather bad...but...well...anyway.
Those are kind of nightmare-y.
Jairus: LA Unified School District start date is Sept. 9th. Your schools are overachievers!
There's a joke to be made about decorators who ride the short bus...
Is it wrong that I actually like the "Poopnose von Snaggledog" cake?
Isn't Labor Day next week? And can I tell you how much my 2 y/o LOVED the buses. He didn't care they were weird looking...Ah kids
My dad loved that commercial and sings that song every year school begins.
I think I'd go for the ho-ho's behind that first school bus and skip the "cake".
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
Love the huge frosting dog?! That is seriously terrifying.
That dog is apparently going to bite off his own tongue when he takes his first bite of the homework...even scarier!
Those are so hilarious! Write-up makes them even funnier! Thanks for brightening my day!
@Jairus: Many schools in my area (Philadelphia) go back just after Labor Day! I would have hated going back in August!
(Sorry if this starts a comment war...)
Awesome writing, Anne-Marie! I can't wait to read more of your work while Jen gets a much-deserved rest before the book tour!
Fantasy land = Michigan. We start after labor day. It's a blessing and a curse.
You are not the only mother who does a happy dance when school starts. Not by a long-shot.
And the "Jump In, I'm Back" cake is just so Stephen King it's unnerving.
"Get in im back" Well, if that's not just a bit sinister! I wonder if that was a special order, or if some wonderfully creative bakery worker decided that would be a hot seller? Perhaps channeling some traumatic childhood experience?
I also like the concept of the dog eating homework cake--kind of creative. I'm willing to bet, however, that that dog is one giant mound of frosting, and wow, does that make me want to hurl.
And nice job, Anne-Marie! :)
Also, just noticed the first cake is going for $14.97. Um, I don't think so. Given the choice, I would go for the three boxes of Ho-hos sitting next to it, I am quite sure.
-kate
not only are these totally wrecktastic, but the thought of people ingesting them and having to bite through mounds of that nasty frosting sicken me just a bit.
To Jairus Durnett - Fantasy Land must be Michigan. Our school starts Sept. 8th. I'm sure there are a few other states that begin after Labor day as well, although I'm thinking it is more common to start in August now.
Love that commercial too!
TN schools, in my area, started Aug 10
Ohmygoodness that all-frosting puppy makes me want to hurl. XP
The "I'm baaack" makes me think of the end of Ozzy's version of "Stayin' Alive." Decidedly creepy.
Growing up, I always knew that the first day of school (always after Labor Day back then) could be wrecky, but these express it in cake form! Huzzah! =D
Ooof. That dog cake is obscene! The posture, the tongue...what is he *really* doing to that chunk of "homework?"
Okay, I like the dog, too. Maybe the teeth are a bit much, but it's not too bad!
Hey, I like the dog-eating-homework one. Not everything brown is poop -- I think they did a nice job on the dog and the concept is cute. It's alot of icing, but hey, you don't have to eat it all.
Stop! I messed up! Stop! Please don't publish my comment!!!!!!!
I put the wrong name in my post, pleaase, please, I meant JennyPenny who slammed your writing skills, not you Ann-Marie! You are doing great, oh, please, see this!!!!!
Frigglesnitz,
I didn't think you would be that mean. Rewrite it and I'll put it up.
john
I hate that commercial. I happen to enjoy spending time with my child.
Terrible! Terrible in a hilarious, wrecky way.
~Amy B
I love when the wrecks get so ugly/awful/scary by the end that you can look back up at the first one and say "Well, it's really not all that bad..."
I meant to type:
The second cake has melted into a hot bus mess puddle;
The southern states must start much earlier the the Northern ones because we always started after Labor Day;
and to JennyPenny:
If you do want to post your own comments on the cakes, please google image search, "Cake Wrecks," and go to town. You might even want to start your own blog.We love the writing style here, from Jen, John, and Anne-Marie.
(John, thank you for the do-over.)
JennyPenny:
1) Apparently you haven't seen some of the comments here. Not to slam all the commenters, but a lot of jokes get lost on a lot of people and I can't help feeling like most are here to READ the wit, not share it.
2) Simple solution: DON'T READ. Just look at the images, add your own comments in your head, or ignore the site all together. No such thing as a wrong opinion but I guarantee yours is unpopular and I can't imagine why you added it except to create drama.
Most schools in western PA go back the week before Labor Day, or sometimes two weeks before. It's pretty stupid that way because the first week back usually starts on a Tuesday, so it's not a full week and then you have off right away for Labor Day. I always wondered why they just didn't wait.
Well done Anne-Marie. I confess i was a tad worried about Jen having an "assistant", But your comments made me laugh out loud, and call out to my boyfriend to come check out the days posting, so you are officially "top marks" in my books. =)