If You Want Something Done Right...
September 2, 2009 "Darling, I don't mean to criticize - because I appreciate your ordering the shower cake, I really do. It's just that...well...I asked you to get a baby basket."
"And I'm just not sure this is conveying the right message."No, dear, it will not be fine; now it looks like we're hosting a baby funeral!
"Hm? Well, what about your cupcakes? How are they supposed to help?"
"Aaaaauuugghh!"Well, what did you expect me to say?!? Yes, I think everyone will 'get the visual', dear. That's the problem.
"Because it's gross, that's why!
"Now look, I need you to go back to the bakery - are you listening to me? - I need you to go back to the bakery, and get another cake. And remember: We are preparing for a new life. Happy, cheerful, life. We are avoiding death, mmkay? Got that? Good. Now hurry up; the party starts in an hour."
[Later...]
Dylan B., Angie F., & Meghan E., I'm told that cupcake is vegan. Anyone else find that ironic?
And speaking of which, if you live in Utah and are imagining all the events you could liven up with some gourmet vegan fetus-cupcakes, then you can order them here. (Uh, I don't think they call them fetus-cupcakes, though. And please don't tell them I sent you. Heh.)
- Related Wreckage: You Say Goodbye, and I Say Hello
Reader Comments (199)
Does no one else find it hilarious that the Cakewalk website has a section at the bottom for "Caketasrophes"?!
These all seem like abortion cakes/cupcakes.
Oh my gosh, that's really a casket! There are even little frosting handles on the side! How could anyone think congratulations were in order on a cake like that?!
Moonfall:
What you are thinking of is called a tabernacle and it looks *nothing* like that first cake, even though there are innumerable variations of form. (And as a side note, only the "communion bread" is reserved there, more correctly termed the Eucharist.)
-Bernadette
I normally love this site, but as one who had a miscarriage and knows many other women who have lost babies, today's post struck me as a bit insensitive and just made me sad. Sorry to be Debbie Downer.
Oh my gosh, those are so revolting!!! The cupcake made me ill.
I come here to shake my head in wonder at the craziness that is our human imagination. It never fails to disappoint.
To those who say "this post was insenstive to women who've experienced miscarriage" folks, I think everyone here gets that. Indeed, with 25% odds of having a miscarriage, the likelihood that others here have experienced it is high. Jen is right in showing these because they are WRECKS. There very existance is insensitive, and if seeing them lined up here keeps some other baker from making these WRECKTASTIC choices, bring it on for us to openly ridicule, I say!
Thanks, Jen, for the continuing good work. These are, indeed, revolting!
...they're not 'happy abortion' cakes are they?
Because that is just... wrong
I wonder if the Vegan Baker Shop wonders why they suddenly have 40000 site hits today, but none tomorrow ... heh heh!!!
For those of you who don't live in the south, here's a little background on the plastic baby. Yes, it is plastic, and no, it is not intended to be eaten. It is a cajun custom to hide a little plastic baby into a "King Cake" (you can Google that and see) at Mardi Gras time. Everyone knows it is there, so no one chokes on it because they are on the lookout. If I remember right, the baby is (or was originally) supposed to signify the baby Jesus? All I know is, in my family if you get the baby in the King Cake, you have to bring the King Cake next year.
Now, that being said.......what.the.hell??? What were these people thinking???? Ew!!
Dear God....do these people think at all???
If you follow the myspace link given earlier for the vegan cupcakes and click through a bit, they also do a lovely line of vegan chocolate mint decorated with plastic green soldiers so maybe they have a thing for small chokables.
As to the third, the only possible explanation I can think of is someone is pregnant after cancer and being told they couldn't have kids. Even then, it's tasteless in the extreme!
I am hoping we can get an explanation of cake #3. The first 2 seem like regular goof-ups, but #3 looks like they got exactly what they ordered. One comment said that maybe a pregnant woman recently survived a life-threatening situation, so they were celebrating both. I think that's the most happy explanation we can hope for.
What the CRAP. omg. omg. omg. Is there something in these bakeries that causes brain damage, or something?
GROSS.
Listen, when a jaded old goth is appalled, you know you've really gone too far! X(
That middle one is the grossest thing I've ever seen!
@blueraindrop, my daughter Emily's sonogram picture didn't look quite like that (with anencephaly). The baby on cake #3 has too much forehead formation to be anencephalic.
I couldn't get a good enough view of the sonogram, but it looks like it's just shadowed, and someone istrying to say "Hey, don't die in childbirth, y'hear?"
The cupcake people also have a special http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=198678706&albumID=1272178&imageID=10064494#a=1272178&i=15436565" rel="nofollow">zombie cake and http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=198678706&albumID=1272178&imageID=10064494#a=1272178&i=13223599" rel="nofollow">solider cupcakes ... their minds seem to be a bitXXX lot twisted.
I rarely comment because I'm sure someone has already said what I wanted to say and they probably said it better.
But, seriously - these cakes can't be real. No one in their right mind could possibly think that cupcake or birth/death cake was a good idea.
I am just continually amazed at what you find out there.
Actually, the vegan cupcake makes the MOST sense... Vegans are allowed to eat humans, since they could (hypothetically) agree to be eaten.
Oh, vegans.
oh that last cake is awful!
I'm also hoping that the last cake is for a 40th birthday/baby shower... Haha, you're old and avoiding death... and congratulations on your baby! Still weird but at least maybe harmless?
You know, I think all these insane baby shower cakes could be chalked up to the hormonal nuttiness surrounding childbearing. Some of us just plain go bonkers when we're pregnant, and I think it might be contagious. Obviously it must be, since there are people actually agreeing to make these cakes.
BEST. POST. EVER.
What in the world were they thinking? I hope the mother to be will be let off with a slap on the wrist when her justifiable homicide charges finally come to trial.
wv heendso- Heendso you see why party planners are always a good idea.
OK, did anybody else notice that the cupcake bakery also has dillo cakes? What do you think they look like? Pretty much what I thought they would look like...
I come to this site to laugh when I'm down. This post I found to be insensitive. I am carrying to term a baby that will not live more than a few hours after birth. I know these were meant to be funny, but in this instance they are not.
Ok, I usually just read and never comment. But after seeing the baby cupcakes I really felt the need to leave a comment just to say ew, that is really gross and kinda creepy.
I don't understand the last cake. The first and the second, okay, they're weird, but I can think of situations where they are possible cake choices.
I don't understand the situation that would merit the last cake. I don't understand what you would have to order to get something like that.
I am confused, and sad, and hopeless, and oooh, a cupcake!
<3 ari
Umm, I am befuddled... Though I must say that last cake would win first prize in the "Worst baby shower cake, ever" contest!
Maybe the last one was for an office babyshower/"over the hill" b-day gathering similar to Ashley Glen's Eeyore Eagles b-day cake. But whatever the reason it has a fetus photo on it. CREEPY! Those sonograms are super weird on their own; slapping them on a cake makes it sooo much worse.
Please tell me this didn't ACTUALLY happen. Please? Restore my faith in humanity.
I am proud to say I am the "twisted mind" behind the baby goo cupcakes. Just to clarify... I own the bakery, and the cupcakes were for my baby shower and meant to be a fetus and the goo was meant to be blood. I did inform people that there were things inside to be aware of before consumption (to avoid chokings).
I'm really excited that so many people were so disturbed by them! I have also decided that "plastic babies" needs to be added to my list of fillings on the website, I have had a few people ask me to make them since the originals.
I can't believe that third one is a real cake?! What on earth is the purpose? What's the reason? What kind of party are they taking that too?
Hope the baby does well and that you don't die.
Hmm, thanks... I think.
I've never seen anything that made me gasp in horror like that cupcake. Anyone who has lost a child/grandchild would be heartbroken at seeing this.
I have been following the site for quiet a while and I have to say this is the first post where I absolutly could not believe my eyes. Bravo.
OMG. Those cakes are just - wow. What were they thinking??!
But as for that cupcake - now we know how carrot jockeys are born!
How ironic is it that the bakery lists a section titled 'Caketastrophe'? lol lol lol
Oh jeez..i am crying with laughter at the welcoming new life avoiding death cake.
Our daughter just died 3.5 months ago after she was born and that last cake was just a bit depressing :(
OMG!! I can't stop laughing! Best cake ever!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA.
wow i am crying from laughing...!!!!
#1- ummm weird and kind of morbid..
#2- pretty funny if you have a twisted sense of humour..
#3- HAHAHAHA so utterly ridiculous i cant even imagine the looks on the guests faces if this was brought out!!!
um...darn tv and its effects. Sadly, I found the cupcake weird...and then I read that it was a vegen cupcake, and about laughed my head off. ^^'
the last cake is just horrid. I don't know what's creepier. The 'avoiding death' addon, or the picture of the baby.
those are disgusting!
*LOL* Jen! I love your story! :D
I'm gonna start looking for Wrecks here in Sweden! :)
people just get so literal
I just. Wow.
The cupcake is gag-inducing, which is bad in and of itself, but the third?
Just... What could possibly justify that juxtaposition that isn't made of tasteless? It's so horrifying it looped back around to hilarious.
The flies on that last one are the crowning touch. Brilliant!
The last one is a side-by-side, they just so happen to be celebrating a baby shower for one person, and a 50th birthday for another. We do them at my bakery for multiple celebrations.
The first cake should have been iced all white with gold handles - it makes it even creepier. Ouch.
Maybe the 3rd cake was one of those cases where a couple has a second child with intentions of using cord blood stem cells to cure a disease in the first child? I know it's reaching, but that was all I could come up with in my active imagination.