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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Aug212009

Two Words, Bakeries:

Drug screening.

Seriously. You guys might want to look into it.

You also want to make sure the DTs are over.

"Triangle Man, Triangle Man,
Doing the things a triangle can...
"

And just FYI, managers: Drawing a tuxedo-clad "Triangle Man" with webbed feet is not compelling evidence of sobriety. So you probably shouldn't pick that guy to do the window display:

On the other hand, if you ever have an occasion that calls for a clown to run over another clown who's broken in half while stabbing at a third clown - who's drowning - and all three to be surrounded by bucks, bucking broncos, and mysterious brown swirls in the sky... well, then, you should probably seek professional help.

Courtney C., Jen C., Kirsten K., & Samantha R., I get by with a little help from my friends.


- Related Wreckage: Back to Basics

« TTFN | Main | Put The Coffee DOWN »

Reader Comments (172)

A TMBG reference? On Cake Wrecks?

Jen, I think I love you.

August 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna Cassidy

Yay! a TMBG reference! <3

August 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRed Wolf

Yay for TMBG! It's amazing how so many things I like and/or find funny come together on this blog. Thanks for keeping me amused and my 11 y.o. in hysterics

Lonnie

August 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthebeatgoeson08

I LOVE They Might Be Giants!

August 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Poor Nate.. he's only 4. He so doesn't deserve that.

August 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfrggygrl

My son had to inform me that the cookie cake is supposed to be a rocket ship, not a Picasso penguin. I still like my interpretation of the picture better, even though his is probably more accurate.

August 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSharon M

Actually, that clown is not stabbing at all! He's trying to rescue that clown from drowning the in white water creek running through the middle of the cake. And his body position on the bridge makes total sense. Thats exactly how I'd brace myself if I were saving a drowing friend :)

August 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNikki

Okay, along with Jen and John for giving me my daily dose of awesomeness and LOL-lery, I also now *heart* Christina for this:

People, Triangle man is not a rocket! He's Baby Morris Day's butt crack at Epcot!

(Although by this point in the comments, I'm thinking we need to add something about a TMBG reference--but that's just me.)

Now, in re: the cakes--
People, I used to DO drugs. SERIOUS drugs. For, like, YEARS. And neither I, nor any self-respecting junkie* I ever knew, would have permitted indignities such as these to be perpetrated on innocent food items. For one thing, the David-Lynch-meets-Rob-Zombie-ness of that clown-murder cake comes a wee bit TOO close to some kind of cold-turkey-Day-Three nightmare.

So, in short: even chronic substance-abusers generally have better taste, a less-horrifying sense of color, and steadier hands than those who created today's exhibits. And remember: Friends don't let friends wreck cakes.

August 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGladys

I LOVE the reference to "They Might be Giants!" in your commentary! Perhaps you could work Istanbul in some other time!

August 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterastarte27

Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

Jen, I think the worst cake ever is in this very post; cake #2...that busy green mess. What. The. Aych?!

August 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

Oh Wow! Helllllooooooo?? Anyone home!?? The clown cake is killin' me! LMBO!! Love the commentaries and y'all's comments too!

First time commenting as I have been reading a long time!! Could not let the clown/buck/???? cake go by with no critique!

Holy Cr@pol@!

and poor Nate . . . the only way that would be appropriate is if he had decorated it himself!! Poor Baby!

August 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGwendolynSnow

I'm pretty sure some bakery type places DO use drug screening, a girl I know in Michigan didn't get a decorating job as a result, which seemed a little harsh!

August 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thanks Gladys! And I agree about the TMBG so I will oblige. For those who do not know what this means, it's "officially" a band called "They Might Be Giants."
However it "could" be:
"Teenage Mutant Billy Goats"
"Try Mom's Baked Gouda"
And my personal favorite to say to TMBG fans:
"They Must Be Geeks"
WV: teribbra-yes, I know my jokes are teribbra

August 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

Your blog is beyond funny!!! Thanks for making my Monday much better!!! Love the comments too. The Under neat that" cake is mu favorite. :o)

http://amy-boysboysboys.blogspot.com

August 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I think that's a rocket....

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Today I walked past a Chinese restaurant in downtown Chicago with my husband. It was closed but there were wedding/birthday/anniversary cakes in the window. For some odd reason.

Here's what happened:

Me: I like that one. And that one. And do you think the silver balls on that one are edible? And OH MY GOD THAT'S THE CAKE WRECKS CLOWN CAKE.

Husband: What?

Me: I'm serious. You didn't see it?! I'll show you when I get home.

Man walking past: Hey, that's from Cake Wrecks.

Me: See, it wasn't only me who saw it.

I showed him when we got home and he said yes, I see, it is the same cake. And I said I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE CAKEWRECKS PEOPLE WHEN THEY ARE IN TOWN!

September 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

HAHA! I thought it was Triangle Man too. It didn't even occur to me that it could be a rocket until I read all these comments. Might have to look again, lol!

September 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

The "Triangle Man" is a rocket... doesn't take a genius to notice that one lol.

September 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That rocket ship cake didn't say, "D-day"?

September 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNathaniel

I couldn't stop laughing about #4, "Clown Wars," and all those unrelated animals! Those clowns must be trying to kill each other off for the single prized opening at the circus; after all, it's a recession, and even the Big Top's downsizing!

And that triangle cake, yes, the first thing I thought of was that They Might Be Giants Song, but I didn't think rocket, because what spaceship has *webbed feet*? People, it's a deformed penguin. After all, it IS black and white -- and has webbed feet!

October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I just discovered your site, and I am HOOKED - and this clown get up takes the cake... I am sitting at my desk crying with laughter! Thank you!

September 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDan and Jeannine

X72ryiz

"butterfly" looks like all of the second graders on the playground at my school did.

March 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDasani

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