Friday
Aug212009
Two Words, Bakeries:
August 21, 2009 Drug screening.
Seriously. You guys might want to look into it.
You also want to make sure the DTs are over.
"Triangle Man, Triangle Man,
Doing the things a triangle can..."
And just FYI, managers: Drawing a tuxedo-clad "Triangle Man" with webbed feet is not compelling evidence of sobriety. So you probably shouldn't pick that guy to do the window display:
On the other hand, if you ever have an occasion that calls for a clown to run over another clown who's broken in half while stabbing at a third clown - who's drowning - and all three to be surrounded by bucks, bucking broncos, and mysterious brown swirls in the sky... well, then, you should probably seek professional help.Courtney C., Jen C., Kirsten K., & Samantha R., I get by with a little help from my friends.
- Related Wreckage: Back to Basics
Reader Comments (172)
Jen - that's a rocket.
Not that that excuses the cake. I'm just saying.
Yuck!
That reminds me, I have to take a picture for you, if the cake's still at the grocery store.
-Jen
http://jenniferannphotos.etsy.com/
That Green Tree Cake could have been okay, if they didn't scribble with the fine point tip all over!!
I agree....drug screening should be mandatory!!
"Hi, we want a cake for our little Nate's birthday. Could you model it off of this early masterpiece from our budding little artist?
Oh, and also, his favorite color is green. Thanks!"
after squinting for a while, i think that brown poo in the sky on the clown cake...is supposed to be the dessert sun O.o
Well, at least it isn't the Triangle Man from Silent Hill...
The clown cake...holy cannoli! Clowns are frightening enough by themselves, but when they're bent in half the wrong way...hmmmm. Bucks and palm trees? Round red blobs? I think we're starting to drift into David Lynch territory with this one.
@ Nate's Mom... Indiana Jones inspired, hmm...
Well I guess I can stretch a little ways and say from above it could pass for tree tops and jungle vines.
They still missed whatever they were going for though.
Aack! Triangle man! I love him. What is that??
The clowns...of the clowns. Why? That's just wrong.
Nice TMBG reference! :)
Triangle Man is definitely a rocket. That apparently does up with buttons.
Love the TMBG reference!!!!! Too cool!
Well, I do know that deer hang around palmetto trees on occasion ...
Re the first and second cakes: whatever those people were on at the time, I want some.
Word verification: waite. I can't waite to read Cake Wrecks every day.
The They Might be Giants reference almost made me spit tea all over my laptop. XD ROFL
This blog makes me laugh till I cry almost daily! Thanks :)
Those clown decorations should've been chucked out during the McCarthy era, because they are freaky as hell.
I like the first one, though, but Katamari Damacy may have trained me to be amused by bright colors with gentle insanity.
wv: dupes. Yeah, the baker dupes people into buying these Wrecks!
Mira8: You know, I was kinda thinking the same thing until I went to a large chain store bakery today. I kid you not, they had this thing that I think was supposed to be a shih-tzu. The cake must have been a rolled cake of some type...with all the frosting "hair" draping off of it. It had the most insane face you've ever seen and these chocolate...things...trailing behind it. When I realized the things were supposed to be muddy footprints, I started laughing so hard I caused a bit of a scene!
If only I had had my camera with me!!!!
(Oh, and yay for the TMBG reference! My favorite screen name since my MUD days (now that really makes me a geek) has been blu_canary! Yes, as in "in the outlet by the light switch".)
Oh Geesh. It just keeps getting worse..
http://confessions-of-a-waitress.blogspot.com/
holy smokes, these are weird! What's the deal with the green one? I don't get it. Nor do I understand the "triangle man"...very strange.
I think the decorator of #4 was inspired by David Lynch. Only he could combine a clown car accident with wildlife and palm trees.
That clown cake points to a problem with many of these cakes; namely dimension. You have a three dimensional scene on a two dimensional cake with the X axis of the scene corresponding to the Y axis of the cake causing the whole cake to be wrong both aesthetically AND mathematically. If I have lost everyone, I apologize but for those geeks out there (you know who you are, you LOVED the Doctor Who cakes just as I did), you get what I mean.
Once upon a time my family moved me from my happy life on the east coast to a desolate air force base out west. Along the way I turned 7 and they bought me a Smurf cake. This was in 1987...but I can vividly remember the Happy Birthday and the bridge that the little hiker Smurf was walking over...and it's the same ones as the last cake. When the Smurfs go missing, you must have to go with clowns...
I'm pretty sure that the triangle man is a rocket ship.
This is why kids hate clowns >_<
While I worked as a cake decorator, my boss had this great idea to let the kids decorate their own cakes on mothers days, I must say, that looks alot like what was going on then.
I love your site, I visit it every day and I always enjoy it. I just took a job at Food Lion in the deli/bakery and I'm going to be decorating cakes... I'm a little bit terrified that I'll suck and end up on Cake Wrecks but I am going to do my best to avoid it!
I find it hysterical that you referenced partical man today, since I JUST saw the tiny toons episode that uses that song!
They Might Be Giants just doesn't get quoted enough. And my monitor must be bad, because on the last cake with the clowns, I read that as Slappy, not Happy Birthday.
Thank You for the They Might Be Giants reference.
I already thought you were awesome, but now I am head over heels for you--all because you referenced old school TMBG. *swoon*
They Might Be Giants! SO my era!
"Triangle Man, Triangle Man, Triangle Man hates Person Man. They have a fight, Triangle wins. Degraded man, Person Man...." Accordion Solo!
Max here!
I love Triangle Man! Hes only like the best super hero since Toast Man!
HES AWESOME!!!! XD
I chuckle at the majority of the entries, but the commentary on the clown cake made me crack up. WOW. The wrecks are enough on their own, but your commentary just takes the hilariousness to another level.
I find clowns to be kind of creepy, but this is just downright disturbing.
I was nauseated by the green squiggly things, it looked too much like thin, moldy worms on the get-away. *shudder*
The clowns. Oh, dear heavens above what does someone say about THOSE?! Um... I'm glad they weren't on a surprise cake for me?
However, I have to admit to liking the triangle-in-a-tux. He reminded me of the townspeople from The Point and brought up warm, fuzzy childhood memories. The Skeksis can do that for me as well, any cakes of them?
triangle man may just be my favorite superhero now...
The third cake gives me a serious case of border envy. So, what did they do? Have the borders done by their best decorator and then call in an unhinged person to "decorate" the top? Weird. Totally weird.
Wait, lemme get this straight...
So far, I've seen multiple references to Doctor Who, They Might be Giants, Star Trek, Stargate...and all of this wrapped up in cake?
I...I think I love you.
bahahahaha! And this is what cake on acid looks like. The happy, hallucinogenic butterfly attacks!
My husband would LOVE a Triangle Man cake! What a great idea!
I'd like to defend the 'triangle man'...well, defend the decorator.
Unfortunately, this is one of the 100 or so designs approved by GAC. Even the 'professional' one in the brochure looks like this cake!!!
In my 7yrs working at GAC, I've done this cake exactly twice, probably because no one could figure it out what its suppose to be. For the record, its suppose to be a rocket ship and there's suppose to be stars all around the ship.
That clown cake is a work of art. If I am ever allowed to marry, that is going to be my wedding cake.
But... they spelled "happy Briday" wrong.
I'm sort of wondering if/hoping that the first cake was based on the child's drawing. (Except it doesn't look like it was custom made, so who knows. That and as a social worker I have some concerns about the child who created it.)
Oy.
The first one would be a jubilant success had it been made at home by mom and a two year old. Too bad it's masquerading as a professional effort.
I've seen, and own, all the Indiana Jones movies and I just don't see the source of inspiration. It's a little like the exploded alien brains in Mars Attacks, though.
If the clown cake was made by a Chinese restaurant, maybe it's sort of a rebus or a pun or something in Chinese...
Hooray for the They Might be Giants reference!
Dead clowns to boot! 'Cause that's what those little X's in their eyes are. Can't stand dead clowns.
Oh my gosh, nothing makes me happier than a They Might Be Giants reference! =]=]
Actually, I want that first cake. Rainbow psychedelia on a butterfly? I'm down. :)
You know, Triangle man HATES Particle Man. You should also try singing the Spiderman theme song to the Particle Man tune and vice versa. It totally works.
The second cake is actually a high class thing. See most people don't know is that "Nate" invented Silly String. And he, ahhhh, really likes cabbage.