To the Pain
May 21, 2009 These cakes have been left to wallow in their freakish misery forever, but we viewers are the ones who really suffer for it.
For example, tell me you don't get a brain-ache from trying to comprehend...
The cycloptic smiley clover of despair!!(Now with matching ladybug!)
"Pool Party Patty" has some serious 'splainin' to do.You know what every caramel cheesecake needs?
Pretty much anything but large poo-swirls topped with plastic mold-specked hot dogs and hamburgers, that's what. Although I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the little surfing 'dog on the left:
C'mon, a mini hot dog riding a poo wave? What's not to love?
And lastly, check out what Amy S. got for her rehearsal dinner when she requested a simple sheet cake with a logo on it:
I don't know what that is either, Amy, but I hear the chocolate coating helps it go down easier.
Moira & Stephanie E., these cakes are inconceivable.
Reader Comments (225)
Huh. It's a CHEESECAKE. The burgers, dogs, and poos distracted me. (Why decorate a cheesecake at all? Let it alone, people! Cheesecake needs nothing! It's perfect as it is!)
Did Amy s. Get an explanation? Because I mean, come ON!
Eee, I think the bakery who made the last cake may have misheard "sheet cake"....if you know what I mean.
Gag; that first one is staring at me.
The poo waves are nasty!
The last one looks like someone had some left-over fondant and random plastic decorations.
~Amy B.
Oh wow -- Victory Junction Gang is the official charity of NASCAR... so maybe that chocolate-ness is supposed to be mud, from a dirt track after it has rained, splashing behind a tire of the winner who is doing burnouts in the swampy chocolatey mud.... um... maybe
wv:(my first attempt)
culta - Cake wrecks readers are in a culta all their own :)
Ah, love the Princess Bride references! :D
Was I the only one who thought of Mike Rowe (from Discovery Channel's Dirty Jobs) when reading about the "poo" waves?
And how on earth did the last bride get THAT for a sheet cake when people who order fanciful creations end up with a sheet cake?
Yeah, I watched PB on AMC this week too, haha.
Maybe the bakery took "sheet cake" a bit too literally & intended that last one actually look like a bed sheet... Who wouldn't want a chocolate sheet? Right?
Princess Bride!! <3
Is that a sequence cake?? First you eat your hotdog, then you get your cake, finally it all comes out as dookie. How excellent that the whole processes is presented in each tasty slice!
Call in the Brute Squad!
Awesome Princess Bride references! I love it. "Chocolate makes it go down easier!"
Seriously, those are some bizarre cakes. Hotdogs riding poo waves?
The bride might have requested a sheet cake, but what she obviously meant was a couple of sacks of dirty laundry...
Princess Bride references make my day!! and for the last one perhaps they heard simple sh!t cake??
Dang.
Confusion irks me...not being able to understand irks me. So therefore, I'm irked right now.
I would have forgiven the caramel poo had it not been for the hotdogs/burgers. I dunno where to start and how that made sense to the decorator.
Amy...girl...that's a hot mess you got there. Looks almost literally like a hot mees too.
WV: cheancu -- the biological classification of the creature in the first cake.
any day that starts with a princess bride referance is a good day in my book! Thanks Jen
If I'm right, and I'm never wrong, Gilder (the sworn enemy of Florren and all things cakey) is responsible for these wrecks. I'd stake my life on it. And "sheet cake" that word, I do not think it means what you think it means...anybody want a peanut?
Aww judging from the title I was expecting princess bride cakes. I doubt they make that many though...
No R.O.U.S. cakes? I clearly can not eat the cake in front of me. :)
wv - heelesit - heelesit wondering if these "decorators" feel guilty cashing their paychecks.
I love the one eyed flower freak! I think I might make myself one for my next birthday. I mean you only turn 21 fourteen times.
WV: Granada-Canadian Granny
How to explain these?
It would take a miracle
(Now with ladybug!)
OK, I would so buy a CakeWrecks shirt with...
"A mini hot dog riding a poo wave? What's not to love?"
That's awesome!! I laughed so hard I snorted Diet Coke up my nose. Mmm...bubbly.
You have some fantastic word journeys of your own. :o)
The first cake looks like Mike Wazowkski dressed up like a flower for Halloween.
Huh. First a very long email joke about eating chili and the errrr, "results", and now a bunch of cakes that look like poo.
This should be an interesting day...
yeah, I'm thinking the last one is simply chocolate covered sheets....and I think they were all made by a six fingered man...
Bonnie B
Pretty much every cake on here has made me laugh (or groan) but the last sheet cake made me say, ever so quickly, "What the f*** is that?" No exclamation. Just pure confusion. I love the Princess Bride. I totally heard "incontheevable" in my head.
How to explain these?
It would take a miracle
(Now with ladybug!)
wv: emocrat.
What the Republican called the sullen member of the opposing party.
Wow. I think this may be the wreckiest day on Cake Wrecks.
Why oh why would you put a plastic hot dog and hamburger on a cheesecake? Why?
And the "sheet" cake...OMG.
I wish everyone would go the Falker Satherhood way and bring video cameras. I need footage.
I thought I loved you before, but - Princess Bride!
Your brain, our comments, and customers' righteous indignation against the world's wreckorators, and you think a little Princess Bride reference is supposed to make me happy? Hmmm?
Today's title definitely made me smile.
That was awesome. I mean it.
Anybody wanna peanut?
I'm thinking we have a collision of websites here...
Cake Wrecks + icanhascheeseburger = eew
Did they get to keep their ears, so that every woman who cries out, "What is that thing?" would echo in their perfect ears?
Loved the Princess Bride nod, and the crazy ridiculous cakeness. Keep writing!
-Ronnie
I'm thinking Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
Cakes, bad cakes, that is why we'wew gaverwed hewe today.
I'll have to see if I can find a pic of a LotR cake someone made me, they made Mt Doom and stuck Gollum in front of it. End result: it looks like Gollum tore himself a new one taking a poo.
Jen, you must have watched the Princess Bride over the weekend too.
"Hello, my name is inigo montoya, you've wrecked my cake...prepare to die."
Oh come on people! Does no body think these cakes are INCONCEIVABLE!
Anybody want a peanut?
*I could go on all day and quote the entire movie forward and back, but I need to get back to working on my mahwaige photos. :)
No one noticed the campfire in the middle of the cheesecake? so. . .
Flaming Poo Hot Dog & Burgers!!
Which brings to mind another film, can you say "The Bog of Eternal Stench"
hmm i think the sheet cake is supposed to be like satin sheets, but um...wow its messed up... to literal people!
Who in the world decorates a cheesecake?! That is just wrong on so many levels...
OMG - I totally want this as a T-shirt:
A drawing of the mini-hotdog on the poo wave
Below it: "A mini hot dog riding a poo wave? What's not to love?"
Below that, in a smaller font: "Cake Wrecks"
The drawing needs to be on the cute side, not the gross side, but I'm sure one of your talented readers could take this idea and run with it.
Thanks for the many laughs!
Too bad there were no cakes of R.O.U.S.'s. Dang, now I have to make one.
And hey, caramel cheesecake? I don't care what they decorate it with, I'd still eat it!
Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you wrecked my cake, prepare to die!!!
ISN'T THAT PAIN A CCC?!?!? GOD HELP US ALL!!!!
Obscure Princess Bride references FTW! :D
Hahaha! Totally caught that chocolate coating Princess Bride reference.... and then saw the inconceivable 5 minutes later. I felt so smart.... and then realized it was so obvious.
The last one is obviously a literally a sheet...as in bed sheet.
LMAO!! That "sheet" cake is priceless! I can imagine the worker going: "A what?!!!" =^o
hehehe.... It's pretty clever for a square-lookin' pile o' pooh! Must have taken some skill =P
Claire.
Frazzled baker running around bakery: "Sheet cake... Sheet cake... She wanted a sheet cake- Now what did she mean by that?" (Lightbulb flashing on top of head) "Oh, I know! I'll grab some bed sheets and cover them in chocolate! GENIUS!!!"
DK
http://uberfoodnoob.blogspot.com/
Ohhh, I get it... it's a cake wrapped in a sheet. That's it, right?