Valentine's Variety
February 12, 2009 Because hearts and roses and bears are SO last week, here are some... interesting... alternatives.
For the cat lover: a neon pink, vaguely feline amorphous blob, sporting what I can only assume is some kind of euphemism:
"I'm 'purrin' for you"? Do I want to know, Gabrielle H.?For the Star Wars fan: a cake showing Admiral Ackbar's softer side:
"Don't believe him, Haley B.; it's a trap!"
For the H.P. Lovecraft fan: a Valentine's Cthulhu:
What's a Cthulhu, you ask? Eh, wellll, it's a kind of gigantic hideous tentacled thing, known to be the epitome of evil and horror. And as you can see from Melissa O.'s photo, it also comes in plush!
Speaking of plush...
I don't know what this is, Aliza E., but I think I want one. Whether I would hug it and squeeze it and call it George or actually ingest it, though, is anyone's guess.
And here's a Valentine's treat for the...uh...emotionally constipated?
That's it, Ted S., let it allll out.
Well, it's no fungus cake, but it'll do: I'm skipping breakfast.
Reader Comments (138)
i think the pink "fuzzy" thing is actually cute. However I refuse to eat the turd butterfly.
I think it's a butterfly, I hope it's a butterfly. OU never mind, not on my cake please.
LOL, I love the pink furry monster thing, but the rest are just BAD!
The last cake is very timely...our little puppy pooped in his cage and my husband acted like it was the end of the world...Guess what he's getting for Valentine's Day???
WV: munchuf - I can't wait to see husband's face when he takes a "munchof" his Valentine's cake.
The pink fluffy one kind of reminds me of a Furby.
Love this site :-).
That pink plushie cake makes me think of a muppet, maybe the Valentine's Day edition featured in never-before-seen clips to be released in DVD boxset form.
Nice to know that Valentine's is not all hearts and flowers. Um... Yeah.
What were those things? Butterflies? Flying Turdlets? Either way, here comes MY breakfast...
nothing like something resembling poop for your valentine!!!!
I think the pink fuzzy thing is a Valentine's Cookie Monster.
The Star Wars one reminds me more of that Tom and Jerry episode where Tom gives the girl cat one of the mice as part of a gift.
Keeping with the sci-fi theme... that pink puff is.. a Tribble of course!
Ugh, that green frosting! Your tongue would look like grass was growing on it for weeks.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
I think you'll remember thats not the first poop we've seen on cake here....
My Ukrainian fiance once called Admiral Ackbar the "fish captain" and I said "oh, you mean Admiral Ackbar?" and the group we were with all turned to me simultaneously in shock at my apparent nerddom. I was shocked that people didn't know his name! Of course, this group also didn't know that Chewbacca was a wookie...
But I digress! The green culthu is amazingly gross. WOW.
I think the "poop" is an attempt at a butterfly too! Ick.
Cthulhu cake! Love it!!!! (And want the plush Cthulhu, too!)
I suspect that it's actually supposed to be a monkey holding a heart on that one cake, and not Admiral Ackbar. The thing on the cake looks like it has pawpads on the bottom of its feet, and I'm pretty sure that the Admiral wouldn't have those, since he's apparently fish or amphibian based.
Which makes the cake kinda cute - I'm a sucker for anything with monkeys on it. It's still a wreck, but it's a cute wreck :)
Nothing says "I love you" like a turd butterfly.
Just found your blog...thank you for the laughs!!
Ok that little pink fuzzy thing...so freaking cute! I have no idea why, but I want to snuggle it!!
That pink think must have taken awhile to pipe! Someone put some work into, well, whatever it is.
I'm not buying the Star Wars cake though. I think that is a tad of a stretch. However, the Cthulu cake is just awesome (well, it would be awesome if it were really SUPPOSED to be the Great One).
and the turd? Ugh. I'm glad I'm done with breakfast.
Ooooh - the pink fluffy one looks like a Tribble in love!! Umm - the rest? Not so much....gag!
I would actually love to have the pink fuzz ball muppet-esque one. I don't think I could stomach all the pink icing though.
Love the Daffy Duck/Bugs Bunny reference "I'll hug him and squeeze him and name him George." Nothing's cuter (or scarier) than a 'plush' pink cake with heart cookie teeth!!
The pink thing reminds me of a cross between a muppaphone and fizzgig...
http://tinyurl.com/muppaphone
http://tinyurl.com/bljyxx
Kinda cute in a "Let me eat it and get a sugar high" way.
I think the second one is an attempt at a "bear" or a "mouse"
I told my husband that if we ever get a dog, I get to name it Cthulu.
He said I was fired from naming pets forever.
Maybe I'll make him a cake like that out of spite.
the last cake...hmm....love me, love my poop?
Thanks for the Bugs Bunny reference...you sure are wascally!
That cat cake looks a little like the boneless cat, Choo-Choo Bear, from the misanthropic sit-comic Something Positive.
Choo-Choo Bear would be a great theme for a CCC, since he can take any shape...
I thought the Admiral Ackbar cake kinda looks like an albino ET. I love the fuzzy cake with heart eyes! So funny!
I think the plush thing is a "LOVE BUG" I remember getting one that gitters around on the floor as a kid.
"Whether I would hug it and squeeze it and call it George or actually ingest it, though, is anyone's guess."
Or maybe prop your feet up on it whilst watching TV?
I think they're cuddle-bugs... get it! =)
The fuzzy pink one looks like a "Tribble" from Star Trek - would fit nicely into the Sci-Fi valentine theme with Admiral Akbar ...
I know next to nothing about Star Trek but I do remember the tribbles - check it out.
http://www.st-files.de/stgalaxis/anderevoelker/tribbles/images/tribble_ds9k7_kirkluke2.jpg
The green thing makes me sick
I think the pink fuzzy one is a valentine "tribble".
My theory on the cat is it's actually a "Purim" cake and is one of those misunderstood phone call cakes.
And I'm sticking to it.
The hardest thing for me about the Cthulhu cake would be shaking the idea that his smiling face is flanked by two containers of onion dip.
I can only imagine what gets stained shocking pink with that first cake. Get a room.
WV: Numbi - Lack of sensation in your tongue after contact with one gallon of Red #5.
I wondered when the "turd cakes" would re-enter the scene. Here is my answer...
Wow... I really wish I had ate before I checked in this am...
Wow, that decorator really nailed Admiral Ackbar! The giant side-eyes, the mouth that goes up in the middle, it's all perfect!
And that green frosting on the cthulu cake....I could not see myself picking that up to take a bite. Yuck. But at least it's not non-dairy whipped topping, I guess.
I'd name the cakes:
"Wanna see my err... kitty?"
"There is Dekon in the middle layer! Trust me."
"Have you seen my rendition of Octopussy?"
"Honey, I'm sorry but I had to give them your other slipper"
and
"Bullet-Poop with Butterfly Wings"
Suddenly, I feel less lonely and more grateful for my single status this Valentine's Day. At least I won't get poop on a cake!
If the pink fluffy thing isn't a tribble, it must be a Pygmy Puff! 8-)
Before I read the text, I also admitted that I loved "George" and wanted to take him home.
But it took me about 4 glances, squinting and muttering to myself, until I realized the plop on the last cake was supposed to be a butterfly.
Also, will someone PLEASE tell me how to pronounce "cthulhu"...what am I supposed to do with that?
"The emotionally constipated."!!! I'm laughing so hard at that one!
The bright pink "kitty" is interesting. What's even more interesting is that the fact that the whites of it's eyes are also hideously pink. And that disturbs me as much as the rest of the cake.
Oh yeah, and the furry pink thing...whatever it is...is cute.
That pink thing's just gotta be a Pygmy Puff!
Oh, the pink thing is a http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weepul" REL="nofollow">Weepul! I remember those from elementary school in the 80s.